voice; UN: red streak

[sanicspeed]

Wow this is....this is a bit difficult. Exciting, don't get me wrong but I feel like I'm reading my journal out loud to everyone.

What else are you supposed to say?

Right, right, I remember.

[Regrets and hesitation here. Why did he even say all that outside of being a loser?

Oh right, that explains everything.]

Look, I'm not one for public advertising but with all this excitement, I'd like to help a bit. So...

...ugh, I forgot to introduce myself. Barry Allen, that's my name. I'm a forensic scientist and I kind of own a place called S.T.A.R. Labs.

Which means if anyone has a crime they need to be solved, just give me a ring. Or hit me up if you need anything else. It's what I'm good at. Which was the whole point of this. I want to help out but don't really have a place to start. So if anyone wants to point fingers, point away. My mind is open to all comers.

[Short sentences and awkward. Yep, he was having a bit of an issue.]

That's all, I think. Good bye? Signing off? How do people do this...?

Comments

[runningjoke]

I suppose I can't expect a human to be good at more than a handful of things at a time.

[sanicspeed]

[If only revealing his true identity was a smart idea.]

Yeah, I get it. Us humans without super powers have to rely on what we're good at. Got it.

[runningjoke]

And you're not good at much, so that's a real problem for you!

[Laughing it up again. She's a total shit.]

[sanicspeed]

You'd be surprised. Decide to kill someone without witnesses and I'll find out that you did it. You can bet on that.

[runningjoke]

Uh, okay?? And if I don't plan on killing anyone, then... what?

[sanicspeed]

I'll, uh....impress you with my knowledge of physics.

[runningjoke]

Okay.

Impress me.

[sanicspeed]

Okay. How fast does a person need to go to be able to run across water?

[runningjoke]

What's water.

[sanicspeed]

The stuff humans need to live? A clear liquid. Good old H2O, also known as Dihydrogen Monoxide...

[runningjoke]

Right, yet another thing humans require or they'll perish. You are all so delicate. No wonder you haven't been able to leave your own planet yet.

Anyway, continue. How fast does it take to run on a liquid that you would also perish in if you became unable to surface from?

[sanicspeed]

If I think about it, you've got to go something like thirty meters a second.

[runningjoke]

I... guess that's impressive?

But no human can consistently run that fast. So it's without a point.

[sanicspeed]

Yeah but what about a meta-human.

[runningjoke]

Never heard of one.

[sanicspeed]

Humans with special non-human powers. How's that?

[runningjoke]

There's no such thing as a "human with non-human powers."

[sanicspeed]

If you said that sentence out loud to everyone here, you'd be called wrong pretty quickly.

[runningjoke]

Would I? Are you a betting man, Red Streak?

[sanicspeed]

It's Barry, please. And I'm not a betting man, I just know my science.

[runningjoke]

And are bad at words.

A human with "non-human" powers doesn't exist, because "powers" aren't defined by species that have them and don't. I can fly. Would I say I also have "non-human" powers?

[sanicspeed]

Well, they can be. Your example is perfectly fine. Genetically, humans aren't capable of flying. Therefore, a human who could fly unassisted by mechanical means would have non-human powers in his possession. Now I'm sure that in the future, humans will evolve beyond their normal realm but, for now, that's why we have terms like meta-human.

[runningjoke]

And how do "meta-humans" get these "non-human" powers, if not through mechanical means? Is it not genetic? Is it assisted through experimentation?

[sanicspeed]

That's a bit harder to explain because it might vary on each world. In mine, it was a science experiment gone wrong that brought out those types of abilities in people.

[runningjoke]

Or right. Making humans less of a pathetic species than what they started out as hardly seems like something gone wrong to me.