ɢᴡᴇɴ sᴛᴀᴄʏ ❚ SPIDER-WOMAN (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
construing) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
futurology2016-08-27 10:41 am
construing) wrote in futurology2016-08-27 10:41 am
( video | un: 10-65 )
[ on-screen: ( 1 ) gwen stacy, a completely normal college student, wide-eyed, frowning. this is serious. a tragedy in motion. ]
I know we're all busy what with smashing bugs, do they even still count as bugs when you can spike them like a football? [ gwen stacy, asking the tough questions, ] but I have an emergency. See this? [ she holds up a cell phone in front of her face. the background reads "THE MARY JANES." the eagle-eyed will note the battery symbol in the corner: warning red. ]
This is my life. Not only is it my life, it's sitting at less than 10% charge so if I don’t get a charger for it pronto, I will literally die.
[ """""""literally.""""""" ]
Somebody has to have one. Help me, Samsung-Juan, whoever you are. You're my only hope.
[ other people have questions starting with "how" and "why" and "what the actual f—" gwen stacy, however, has #priorities. ]
I know we're all busy what with smashing bugs, do they even still count as bugs when you can spike them like a football? [ gwen stacy, asking the tough questions, ] but I have an emergency. See this? [ she holds up a cell phone in front of her face. the background reads "THE MARY JANES." the eagle-eyed will note the battery symbol in the corner: warning red. ]
This is my life. Not only is it my life, it's sitting at less than 10% charge so if I don’t get a charger for it pronto, I will literally die.
[ """""""literally.""""""" ]
Somebody has to have one. Help me, Samsung-Juan, whoever you are. You're my only hope.
[ other people have questions starting with "how" and "why" and "what the actual f—" gwen stacy, however, has #priorities. ]
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What do you use your phone for that doesn't require signal?
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[ she points away from her as an important function occurs to her. ]
The flash is a hell of a flashlight. That thing will blind you.
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[Maybe ... music ... energizes her?
Speaking of "literal." As in, too literal.]
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gwen counts off each point on a finger. ]
A) music is always a necessity. B) way to dismiss everything that people on a strict medication schedule go through. And c) you come from the land of flip phones, don't you? No judgment, just asking.
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Okay, we're having two different conversations right now. Before we go any further, I need to know: are there smartphones in your universe? Not cell phones, not plain old phones. Though if you have to turn your phone to dial, that would explain a lot.
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Of course we have smartphones. I just don't sit on them all the time like other people. I don't really see the point. But let me guess—you really think all of that is vital to your existence?
1.2
Anyway, point is "technologically advanced" is as relative as the phrase gets so relax. Not everyone gets the same advancements at the same time.
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it's real easy to guess what has been stated outright, buddy. people without advanced space programs can do that. ]
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But you're here, living, just fine, and your phone is dying.
You should get used to it.
[Zero sympathy.]
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It's ok, I won't tell anyone. And I found a charger so you and your over investment can rest easy.
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[ what offends you more, pal: phones or hyperbole? so far it looks like a toss-up. ]
I have a charger to pick up, though, so you'll have to carry on by yourself.
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I hope you're prepared for that.
[He childishly ends the conversation to seem like he's happy to end the conversation.
So, there!]
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