( video | un: 10-65 )

[construing]

[ on-screen: ( 1 ) gwen stacy, a completely normal college student, wide-eyed, frowning. this is serious. a tragedy in motion. ]

I know we're all busy what with smashing bugs, do they even still count as bugs when you can spike them like a football? [ gwen stacy, asking the tough questions, ] but I have an emergency. See this? [ she holds up a cell phone in front of her face. the background reads "THE MARY JANES." the eagle-eyed will note the battery symbol in the corner: warning red. ]

This is my life. Not only is it my life, it's sitting at less than 10% charge so if I don’t get a charger for it pronto, I will literally die.

[ """""""literally.""""""" ]

Somebody has to have one. Help me, Samsung-Juan, whoever you are. You're my only hope.

[ other people have questions starting with "how" and "why" and "what the actual f—" gwen stacy, however, has #priorities. ]

Comments

[construing]

I'm not sure how much use I'll be. [ a face, a little laugh…definitely not a superhero here. nope. totally normal college student by day, badass drummer by night. spider-woman who??? ]

Some of us are a little more prone to breaking, you know? I'm not even sure I'd have been a good babysitter. The babysitters' club stage kind of skipped me.

[pummelling]

[Not another one. Jin's face falls and he looks concerned for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment: it's really not right that ALASTAIR should keep recruiting people who don't know what they're in for, even if he's loath to let people see that he actually, well, cares.

Now he just looks vaguely frustrated. A bit exasperated, even.]

Tell me you have some kind of combat training.

[construing]

[ nope. ]

I've seen kung-fu movies?

[ this is…the actual extent of her combat training.

spider-woman is lucky to have spider-powers is all I'm saying. ]

1/2

[pummelling]

[w h y]

[pummelling]

Please tell me that was a joke.

[WHY DOES ALASTAIR KEEP DOING THIS]

[construing]

What's wrong with kung-fu movies?

[ THEY ARE GREAT, SHE WILL FIGHT YOU ]

[pummelling]

They're not real is what's wrong with them. [says the guy whose canon is basically a bad kung-fu movie but WHATEVER]

It doesn't work like that-- in a place like this, you have to be able to defend yourself. We have no clue what they're going to throw at us.

[construing]

Yeah. I wasn't aware I needed to know krav maga when I took a wrong turn this morning. Usually Maps gets me out of that one. But thanks for the suggestion. I'll be looking into it.

[pummelling]

Hey, it's not your fault they can't screen whoever is "accidentally" brought in here to work for ALASTAIR.

[eyeroll. he's very convinced of this story.]

At least try.

[construing]

[ oblivious as she often is, she knows when someone's trying to look after another. she drops the biting edge of sarcasm. ]

I'll figure something out. Thanks.