text, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

hey guys listen, i know kagari suggested no jewel comms but it’s an emergency
i need to know what are some fun party games to play in solitary
games not involving cards, i asked the guards for some cards and apparently that’s not allowed for some reason
or wait how about this, teach me your favorite song. i did all the ones i know like 10 times each already, the guards requested i learn new ones.
sorry that's a lie actually the guards ignore it, but i like to think they're sick of the ones i know and want fresh material

OR, idea, what if we mount a break-IN mission? break into solitary, get me the fuck out. it’ll be like a practice run then we can get back to work on the break out ideas after that.

ughhhhh did you know it’s me and sigma’s year 1 anniversary, call me fucking crazy but this isn’t how i figured it’d go down

Comments

[heavyhitter]

oh
nah
that's just an act of kindness out of the goodness of your heart

not unless it's REALLY good anyway, but there's no way you could top mettaton or fugo

[skelepun]

ouch. that cuts me right to the bone, sweetheart.

i'll have you know my comedy stylings are much sought after.

[heavyhitter]

oh yeah are you gonna do me a comedy routine
ok maybe if you can make me laugh i'll count it, but i'm a hard sell

[ (this is such a lie) ]

[skelepun]

you got yourself a deal, but lemme say now that text doesn't do me justice.

[heavyhitter]

really setting yourself up for success here aren't you

[skelepun]

i like to aim high.

but hey, speaking of aiming. you wouldn't happen to know what cell you're in wouldja?

[heavyhitter]

uhhhhh yeah like 4d-a or something
why
is this part of the joke

[skelepun]

nah, this is:

what did the skeleton order for dinner?

[heavyhitter]

that's a trick question
skeletons don't order dinner, they don't have the stomach for it

[skelepun]

that's solid, but incorrect.

[And the next thing Ramir will see isn't anything over her magitek, but instead a skeleton. In front of her. Somehow. His jazz hands already in place, waving lazily. All that's missing is a rimshot.]

Spare ribs.

[heavyhitter]

[ Ramir blinks when she realizes she's no longer alone in her bored slump against the wall, one leg up and jewelcomm network broadcast up in front of her with the holographic keyboard she insists on making it project. And not only is she not alone, but it's a skeleton in a cute little prison uniform. A skeleton with the punchline to her joke. The teleportation, while cool, she's by now seen before — but the rest of this is pretty new.

The grin is slow in coming, but wide and amused when it makes it. ]

Holy shit, that explains a lot.

[skelepun]

[There it is. There's that smile.]

That I'm hilarious? Yeah, no kidding.

[Now that he's here, Sans takes a moment to look around the place. Cramped was a word for it. Dingy was another word. There were a lotta words, to be honest.]

Nice digs.

[heavyhitter]

Yeah, I bet you got a hell of a funny bone in there.

[ You know, if she could see it. She's envisioning him naked now, so that's kind of interesting. She scoots over (mostly symbolic, there's plenty of room along this blank, featureless wall for two) and pats the ground next to her in invitation. ]

You can get outta here as fast as you came in, right? So if they hear voices and look in I can pretend I was practicing my routine?

[skelepun]

[Easy girl, you better take a number.]

Sure, no big. My reflexes are better than they look. [Which is to say, better than 'nonexistent.' He slumps down next to her, in a practiced slacked motion.] So how'd I do? We square?

[heavyhitter]

[ Oh, good. She doesn't know what a worse punishment is than solitary, but she's not really keen on finding out. ]

Hmmm... [ She tips her head back thoughtfully, eying the also blank and featureless ceiling. ] Not yet. Hit me with one more.

[skelepun]

Sure, you got it. What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?

[Aren't you luck, you're getting some of his best material.]

[heavyhitter]

Come on, everyone knows this one. [ Her head drops, eyes on him again. ] Trombone.

[skelepun]

[Oh no you don't, Ramir. He's got your number from your last preemptive punchline and picked this one accordingly.]

Wrong again. Xylobone.

[Wink.]

[heavyhitter]

[ Oh, shit. She's surprised enough that a snort of laughter pops out, before it turns into a chuckle proper.

In a second, though: ] You sure it's not an obone?

1/2

[skelepun]

[Okay, she was good. His own laughter underscores hers, brow bones raised expectantly as he continues.]

Well I'll tell you what it's not...

[He trails off, giving her the chance to put it together and say it with him:]

2/2

[skelepun]

Organs.

[heavyhitter]

[ She's like half a beat behind him on it, as it occurs to her just an instant too late, but hey it's the thought that counts. And that's what pushes her chuckle over into a cackle, a hand over her mouth and leaned back into the wall. ]

I bet skeletons have weird fucking bands.

[skelepun]

No weirder than ska. That was you guys, right?

[heavyhitter]

Whoa, hang on, do you have something against ska? [ She seems to have forgotten that she's supposed to be alone in a cell here, voice swelling in mock offense. ] Ska is the shit, one of the finest human inventions!

[skelepun]

Hey, hey, I've got nothing wrong with a solid horn section. Some of my best friends have horns. [He grins, winking again. He does that a lot.] So tell me, human to skeleton, what other innovations are you guys claiming lately?