text, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

hey guys listen, i know kagari suggested no jewel comms but it’s an emergency
i need to know what are some fun party games to play in solitary
games not involving cards, i asked the guards for some cards and apparently that’s not allowed for some reason
or wait how about this, teach me your favorite song. i did all the ones i know like 10 times each already, the guards requested i learn new ones.
sorry that's a lie actually the guards ignore it, but i like to think they're sick of the ones i know and want fresh material

OR, idea, what if we mount a break-IN mission? break into solitary, get me the fuck out. it’ll be like a practice run then we can get back to work on the break out ideas after that.

ughhhhh did you know it’s me and sigma’s year 1 anniversary, call me fucking crazy but this isn’t how i figured it’d go down

Comments

[skelepun]

that's solid, but incorrect.

[And the next thing Ramir will see isn't anything over her magitek, but instead a skeleton. In front of her. Somehow. His jazz hands already in place, waving lazily. All that's missing is a rimshot.]

Spare ribs.

[heavyhitter]

[ Ramir blinks when she realizes she's no longer alone in her bored slump against the wall, one leg up and jewelcomm network broadcast up in front of her with the holographic keyboard she insists on making it project. And not only is she not alone, but it's a skeleton in a cute little prison uniform. A skeleton with the punchline to her joke. The teleportation, while cool, she's by now seen before — but the rest of this is pretty new.

The grin is slow in coming, but wide and amused when it makes it. ]

Holy shit, that explains a lot.

[skelepun]

[There it is. There's that smile.]

That I'm hilarious? Yeah, no kidding.

[Now that he's here, Sans takes a moment to look around the place. Cramped was a word for it. Dingy was another word. There were a lotta words, to be honest.]

Nice digs.

[heavyhitter]

Yeah, I bet you got a hell of a funny bone in there.

[ You know, if she could see it. She's envisioning him naked now, so that's kind of interesting. She scoots over (mostly symbolic, there's plenty of room along this blank, featureless wall for two) and pats the ground next to her in invitation. ]

You can get outta here as fast as you came in, right? So if they hear voices and look in I can pretend I was practicing my routine?

[skelepun]

[Easy girl, you better take a number.]

Sure, no big. My reflexes are better than they look. [Which is to say, better than 'nonexistent.' He slumps down next to her, in a practiced slacked motion.] So how'd I do? We square?

[heavyhitter]

[ Oh, good. She doesn't know what a worse punishment is than solitary, but she's not really keen on finding out. ]

Hmmm... [ She tips her head back thoughtfully, eying the also blank and featureless ceiling. ] Not yet. Hit me with one more.

[skelepun]

Sure, you got it. What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?

[Aren't you luck, you're getting some of his best material.]

[heavyhitter]

Come on, everyone knows this one. [ Her head drops, eyes on him again. ] Trombone.

[skelepun]

[Oh no you don't, Ramir. He's got your number from your last preemptive punchline and picked this one accordingly.]

Wrong again. Xylobone.

[Wink.]

[heavyhitter]

[ Oh, shit. She's surprised enough that a snort of laughter pops out, before it turns into a chuckle proper.

In a second, though: ] You sure it's not an obone?

1/2

[skelepun]

[Okay, she was good. His own laughter underscores hers, brow bones raised expectantly as he continues.]

Well I'll tell you what it's not...

[He trails off, giving her the chance to put it together and say it with him:]

2/2

[skelepun]

Organs.

[heavyhitter]

[ She's like half a beat behind him on it, as it occurs to her just an instant too late, but hey it's the thought that counts. And that's what pushes her chuckle over into a cackle, a hand over her mouth and leaned back into the wall. ]

I bet skeletons have weird fucking bands.

[skelepun]

No weirder than ska. That was you guys, right?

[heavyhitter]

Whoa, hang on, do you have something against ska? [ She seems to have forgotten that she's supposed to be alone in a cell here, voice swelling in mock offense. ] Ska is the shit, one of the finest human inventions!

[skelepun]

Hey, hey, I've got nothing wrong with a solid horn section. Some of my best friends have horns. [He grins, winking again. He does that a lot.] So tell me, human to skeleton, what other innovations are you guys claiming lately?

[heavyhitter]

[ it's amazing the way those sockets can wink, just amazing ]

Uh, let's see... [ Fake offense fades and she goes back to thoughtful, a hand on her chin as she considers it. ] Phone games are pretty fucking good. A lot of aliens don't like those as much, so we're basically the leaders in the field.

[skelepun]

C'mon, we had those too. [And they worked on cellphone technology that ran on 80s-style cellphones. There was only so much salvaging from human garbage could do.] Good ones, too. What else ya got?

[heavyhitter]

Damn, tough crowd. Fine. [ And without nearly enough time to think about it: ] Temporary tattooes. Get a unicorn on your forehead any time you want it, and horrify your family for at least a week before they realize it's not forever.

[skelepun]

... Alright, that's a good one, you got me.

[Counting off on his fingers...] Ska, temporary tattoos... that's not a bad legacy for your species.

[heavyhitter]

I know, right? We do us proud in the intergalactic lineup. Also, if we're covering the full range, we're also really good at weird famous people.

[skelepun]

I'll chisel that into the annals of your achievements later. Right next to all the war and stuff. [Can't forget that part.] How many aliens have you met so far here?

[heavyhitter]

[ Ah, yeah, the wars. Did he have to remind her? She makes a face, but it doesn't stick around for long. ]

Oh, man, so many. We're mostly human on Audentes, but the rest of ALASTAIR is pretty varied. And man, the places we go! I think the cat people were my favorite — most of them got killed off by the deer people, but we brought one dead one home with us, she's pretty cool.

[skelepun]

Heh, no kidding. So far it's been mostly humans I've seen. Or, y'know, the human-esque. Or cats.

[The idea of actual aliens, of space travel in general, all of it captures his imagination a little more than he admits. It's that imagination that makes him forget his playacting -- that and the fact that Ramir doesn't appear to recognize him at all.]

Not gonna lie, if we ever get outta here, there's more than a few things I'd like to see.

[heavyhitter]

[ She starts to answer, but a sound outside — real or imagined — has her pausing and listening for a few long seconds. But it doesn't continue, so she figures it was either imagined or irrelevant. Still, though, she does curl in a little more with one knee pulled to her chest, and lowers her voice. Just in case. ]

We'll get out.

[ She sounds sure about it — and pretty fondly conversational, while she's at it. She might've been suspicious of username anonymous at first, but he's providing companionship and entertainment, so what more could she really ask for? He's alright in her book. ]

And, man, the things you'll fucking see! Falling into these rifts is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but half of us are too focused on feeling like we've been kidnapped to realize it.