futurology | VIDEO. UN: LOKI

[ the sound of the wind storm hollows dully against the cave walls. Loki's squidge, Bacon, can half be seen crawling in the confines of his tacky green jacket and over his knee from where he sits, sometimes ducking and squeaking when a particularly large gust hits. to keep it from screaming, Loki offers his fingers absently, which the little squidge pulls on with its pudgy arms before ducking low again. ]

Hello there, it seems like we'll be waiting this out for some time considering the weather-type circumstances. While we're all rotting away, etcetera etcetera, I thought we could amuse ourselves with a game. A little bit of team bonding funtimes, so to say. [ he twists a dark nailed hand in the air, gesturing. ]

Soo—oo ... it's called Two Truths and a Lie. How do you play? Glad you asked, it's simple! Give two true statements about yourself and add a lie to the mix, shake it up then toss it out there and see if your team members know you well enough to spot the lie.

Usually this is done with copious amounts of alcohol, but we're lacking at the moment. [ pause. ] But—ah—you could always enjoy the satisfaction of being right. It's not like we're doing much else.

NOTE | Feel free to threadjack if that's your thing!! :****

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ there's a long, drawn out exasperated sigh. ]

You can't do three falsehoods.

Who says I did?

You do understand that exaggerating is a type of lie?

Okay, yes, but come on. This is not that unbelievable compared to everyone else here.

Well, we can always talk about the fine line between trying too hard and actually cool. There are types of exaggeration that tend to bleed in there.

Trying too hard, that's— come on, now— [ WOW time for an abrupt subject change, that insult hits too close to home!! Because he is a total tryhard. ] Uhhh. Anyway. What's yours. Your three things.

[ a little curl of his lips denotes a tiny bit of victory. ]

Mine? Ah—let's see ...

I'm a viking. I'm the god of lies. I like chocolate milkshakes.

"God of lies", are you trying that paradox shit on me? Like when you say, "This statement is a lie"? It can't be a lie, because then it'd be true, and that would make it a lie, and. Urgh, my head already hurts, I hate paradoxes.

Don't think about it too hard.

[ though he's having quite a time watching this fun display of thinky-thoughts. ]

[ This is some bullshit!! He throws his hands up in defeat. ] Yeah, okay, the god of lies thing. And yes, that's my final answer.

Unfortunate for you ... I am absolutely the god of lies, among other things, of course.

[ sorry about that, bro. ]

Did you want to try again?

[ WHY IS BEING AN ACTUAL GOD NOT SOMETHING THAT GARNERS A REACTION ANYMORE... he just sort of rolls his eyes. ]

You're the god of lies, that's automatic cheating. How do I know anything you said is true? —How do I know anything you said is false? It's, like, oh my god, it's another paradox. [ is it tho ]

[ there doesn't seem to be much offense taken, here. ]

Really now, if you have to ask, I think your exaggeration and melodrama have taken up my lying liar quota for the day.

Oh, my god, okay! Milkshakes! The milkshakes one!

...

Ah—no, wrong. I suppose it's just process of elimination, now.

So... the viking thing.

[ Third time's the charm???? It's fine, he technically still got it. Sort of. ]

Yes, the viking thing.

[ he parrots, though his tone has a tinge of personal victory. ]

Sooo, you're a god. Allegedly. What god drinks chocolate milkshakes? Or any milkshakes, really, I'm not assuming vanilla is the choice of the gods.

Allegedly.

[ he repeats the word with such easy cadence. ]

This god drinks chocolate milkshakes—why, are you the expert on what gods do and do not do?

...

I'd like to hear more, if you are.

Okay, well, not— exactly, I would not exactly describe myself in those exact words. [ You got him there... ] But. I mean, come on. Like, when's the last time you read about how Zeus just loved himself a strawberry daiquiri? Never, no one has ever read that.

It's not as if they were invented in time of myth.

[ that had been a long time ago, long enough to skew, anyway. ]

You may get on his good side if you offer him one now. You'd certainly be on my good side if you got me a shaken milk.

I'm just saying. Don't you think it's not very... godly? [ He scrunches up his nose. ] Do you play foosball and eat Doritos, too?

Ew—no, why would I do that? I'm not a frat boy.

Okay, so you're not too good for the epitome of class that is milk of the shaken variety, but you are too good for foosball and Doritos. [ ALSO WHAT'S WRONG WITH FRATS, he was probably in a frat, how rude ] Where's the cut-off? Like... what about a Dorito milkshake? [ He grimaces a little, because that sounds legitimately disgusting, actually, but. He's sticking with it. Doritos Locos milkshake. ]

Aside from the flavor profile and blatant texture issues? But please, make it your next business endeavor, I'm sure you'll find someone to fully endorse it.

[ there's a faint smile that ghosts across his face. there's some amusement, and very little offense. people questioning what he is doesn't make him less of what he is, after all. ]

This is going into the realm of personal preference, rather than that of divinity. You mortals are funny in that way, you know—you've certain expectations for things and you let those details trip you up. [ there's an exasperated sigh. ] It's not the foods someone likes that makes someone what they are, it's the nature of of it that does that.

For example, if you enjoyed auroch tongue tartare with a side of pickled cockroach legs, it wouldn't make you a cave dwelling dwarf, would it?

[ he's gonna get you back for that Dorito milkshake comment, friend. ]

Edited 2016-08-20 15:01 (UTC)

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