text, @TARANTO, day 2 of the cave in

[heavyhitter]

[ it might take a while for this whole post to load on the bling comm, what with the awful reception going around, but it'll pop up eventually: ]

hey do you guys wanna hear the saddest story in the world? of course you do

so i was down here, you know, trapped and bored, and fucking around on my cell even though that's maybe not my best idea ever because there's sure as hell no solar recharge down here and what else am i gonna do for light, make a torch (hell no)
anyway point is i just noticed it's my fucking birthday today back home
so this is probably the shittiest birthday yet
i just wanted to make you guys all aware of how bad you should be feeling for me. as soon as i punch my way out of here i'll start accepting pity/condolence/regular birthday presents, so have them ready

Comments

[heavyhitter]

don't worry i would have ignored it either way

[ofobedience]

Ha ha. Though what's the deal, anyway? With birthdays, I mean. They seem irrelevant to me.

[heavyhitter]

jeez what is with all the joyless assholes we have around here, they're so not irrelevant birthdays are GREAT

[ofobedience]

I wouldn't know. I don't have one. It was a genuine question.

[heavyhitter]

um i think you have a birthday
literally everyone has a birthday

[ofobedience]

It was my understanding that in order to have a birthday, one has to be born.

[heavyhitter]

so what, were you hatched or something

[ofobedience]

Or something.

[heavyhitter]

sorry hate to tell you but it still counts, whatever it is

[ofobedience]

Counts to who? Not to me. I don't have so much as a date. That, and when would one count it from? The moment of creation, or my first recollection of consciousness?

[heavyhitter]

what the hell are you asking me for, that's shit for you to decide
same with the date
all you gotta do is tell me it when you settle on one

[ofobedience]

Ha ha. What I'm saying is, I still fail to see the point.

[heavyhitter]

the point is you get free shit! and cake, if you play your cards right

[ofobedience]

What kind of free shit?

[He's less interested in the cake]

[heavyhitter]

whatever people wanna give you

[ofobedience]

What people?

[heavyhitter]

anyone who likes you i guess

[ofobedience]

I see the flaw here.

[heavyhitter]

aw do you not have any friends

[ofobedience]

[No. No he doesn't.]

Do you?

[heavyhitter]

loads
wanna borrow some?

[ofobedience]

They're another thing I don't see the point in.

[Read: he's never had any and wouldn't know what to do with one. Alternatively, the last 'friends' he had tore each other apart and/or left him for dead :(]

[heavyhitter]

well i just told you one of the points in them
another point to having friends: who else are you gonna stay up and watch shitty movies with

[ofobedience]

I wouldn't know, I've never watched one.

[heavyhitter]

holy shit
when we get back to oska you're watching a movie with us