text, @TARANTO, day 2 of the cave in

[heavyhitter]

[ it might take a while for this whole post to load on the bling comm, what with the awful reception going around, but it'll pop up eventually: ]

hey do you guys wanna hear the saddest story in the world? of course you do

so i was down here, you know, trapped and bored, and fucking around on my cell even though that's maybe not my best idea ever because there's sure as hell no solar recharge down here and what else am i gonna do for light, make a torch (hell no)
anyway point is i just noticed it's my fucking birthday today back home
so this is probably the shittiest birthday yet
i just wanted to make you guys all aware of how bad you should be feeling for me. as soon as i punch my way out of here i'll start accepting pity/condolence/regular birthday presents, so have them ready

Comments

[hellshaped]

Are you okay down there? [Well.] I guess you're always okay. But is your squidge okay?

[heavyhitter]

yeah that's right good save
he's alright i guess, whiny as ever

[hellshaped]

That's what they do. Good indicator of health. [He assumes.] Damn, there's a lot of this stuff. What's it look like down there?

[heavyhitter]

dark
is that helpful
because it's really really dark

SURE DID ACCIDENTALLY DROP THIS hi

[hellshaped]

OK, you're right. Dumb question.

But listen. At least this is a unique birthday, right?

[heavyhitter]

"unique" is that what they call it now

hey quick question how old are you

[hellshaped]

Well, have you ever spent your birthday under a bunch of rocks? By definition, unique.

[That's a weird quick question, but... okay...] 63. Well, ish. I guess my birthday must have happened by now.

[heavyhitter]

haha oh my god you're so old
what was your shittiest birthday?

[hellshaped]

[OH MY GOD... look...]

Thanks. Let's see. I once spent it hungover in a sewer, looking for man-eating turtles. That was pretty bad.

[heavyhitter]

alright the hangover really makes that one
what happened the night before

[hellshaped]

I was looking for man-eating turtles in Estonia. Lot of distilleries there. Kind of got a head start on the festivities.