text, @TARANTO, day 2 of the cave in

[heavyhitter]

[ it might take a while for this whole post to load on the bling comm, what with the awful reception going around, but it'll pop up eventually: ]

hey do you guys wanna hear the saddest story in the world? of course you do

so i was down here, you know, trapped and bored, and fucking around on my cell even though that's maybe not my best idea ever because there's sure as hell no solar recharge down here and what else am i gonna do for light, make a torch (hell no)
anyway point is i just noticed it's my fucking birthday today back home
so this is probably the shittiest birthday yet
i just wanted to make you guys all aware of how bad you should be feeling for me. as soon as i punch my way out of here i'll start accepting pity/condolence/regular birthday presents, so have them ready

Comments

[heavyhitter]

"theoretically" yeah alright
whatever, point is focolare's great and i'll think up something from there

[twinpeak]

Hey, I believe you! What's it like there?

[heavyhitter]

swampy

[twinpeak]

You get to live on a different planet and that's all you have to say about it.

[heavyhitter]

come on describing home is hard
you do yours

[twinpeak]

Maybe you have a point, home home for me is nice, but ultimately kind of boring. But Mabel and I were spending our summer vacation in Gravity Falls, which is infinitely cooler to talk about.

[heavyhitter]

yeah well i was in nyc and that's pretty easy too, but that's not what i was challenging you to
but whatever give me gravity falls instead then

[twinpeak]

It's basically a second home at this point! It counts, okay.

At first glance it looks like another boring small town in the middle of nowhere, but in actuality it's like some weird magnet for the paranormal and other anomalies, which already makes it way cooler than nearly everywhere else.

[heavyhitter]

oh shit yeah? man you must have been prepared for alastair
did you have ghosts

[twinpeak]

Oh, you bet. I'm basically a ghost expert now.

[heavyhitter]

ok that's pretty great
tell me about a ghost

[twinpeak]

Okay okay

So the last one I had to deal with was the ghost of a lumberjack who'd been waiting to exact his revenge on this really awful family of rich people for like 150 years or something, right. Super angry, wielded an axe, spouted fire, bloody taxidermy was involved, it was some of the creepiest stuff ever. Eventually he was dealt with but man, I could've died that night!

[heavyhitter]

hold up hold up
i'm gonna need you to explain bloody taxidermy

[twinpeak]

Well, sometimes ghosts have certain abilities and can control stuff. You know? And I guess it's a rich people thing to have a room full of dead animal heads? Anyway this guy was haunting a painting in there, and when we walked in, he did his crazy ghost thing and all the heads started chanting and bleeding a lot.