Sometimes you get a call on the spider-phone when someone's turf is being invaded by an army of Electros. Usually it's yelling at him to stop eating corn dogs.

[ a beat. ]

He loves them.

[ a longer beat. ]

It's horrifying.

[ if she sounds haunted by the memory of spider-ham eating pork, it's because she is fucking traumatized by fucking spider-ham eating fucking pork. ]