( he understands well enough. a man that loses control and injures dozens at a time should be keen to seek any aide, and not just begrudgingly accept the help of one. )

You have a voice. Use your own. Ask for aide, there are at least seventy in our number and I'd argue most with the capacity would aide you.

Do not say you regret, and then in the next breath say you will atone within reason. There is no reason to regret. You harmed many, and show little interest in preventing it from happening again. If you regret, then be sure you do all that you can.

If you will not, then perhaps you do not regret as much as you think.