mass text; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

What up. Since a lot of you (us? whatever) are now bonafide fugitives and locked out of "human people" creature comforts, I'm offering a delivery service for a nominal fee.

• Need some shit you can't get over in the goblin side of town? I'll get it for you.
  
  
• Want to deliver some dumb letter or something and don't want to run into asshole, racist humans? Whoa, check me out, I'm Ben fuckin' Franklin over here.
  
  
• Am I discreet? YES! I'll deliver whatever weird thing you want; I honestly don't give a fuck how much of a sicko you are. We all got our vices, right?

Like I said, there will be a fee. Why? Because this isn't a charity and I need a little bit of compensation for putting myself in danger. Yeah! Danger! REAL DANGER! All so you can be happy and play with all the human shit you want.

• No flat rate, so don't ask. It all depends on what you want, how hard it is to get, and the original price.
  
  
• THAT'S RIGHT -- I'm not going to jail for petty thievery, so you bet your ass you're paying retail on top of my fee. dwi.
  
  
• Payment on delivery, so don't ask me if this is on the up-and-up. It is.

Hit me up and we can discuss details. I accept money or trade. No credit.