001 [voice] @SERENE

[sereneflame]

[Serene has never tried making these posts before and thus she's as formal as if she's making a speech, keeping her voice well-modulated and calm. She's matter of fact, unembarrassed by the subject she's raising]

Good afternoon. I hope that someone can help me in an urgent matter, but I fear this is a long shot.

I am looking for the wombsbane herb and I was wondering: are any of you cultivating a patch in private? Back home it grows as free as a weed but I have trekked through the gardens and forest here and have not seen as much as a seedling.

If not, are there any herbs from other worlds here that will lighten my menstruation and will render my womb barren? Womanhood is a burden I like to minimise as much as possible.

I thank you in advance for your time.



OOC: replies will come tomorrow!

Comments

audio | un: L . L

[asscan]

[Laedo's a little late to the game, not because he was left with a bad impression of Serene, but because of the abject obviousness of the question. He'd been lapping water at the time when the voice piped up and nearly spat all of it back into the lake.

Humans! Of all the creatures to cause so many unexpected headaches to those with morals so stringent as to cause existential wedgies...

It's not until she's had several conversations already that he finally weighs in.]

Good goddesses, why would you want to submit yourself to the crapshoot of herbal essences when you could keep a talisman? They were as common as sin among human women from my world, I had assumed that all of you had something more or less like them.

[Just as Serene has learned to enjoy a video-free networking experience, now Laedo is thanking that feature as he pulls a sour face. The horrific idea that perhaps the other women around here are sneaking around trying to get with children is dawning on him and he doesn't know how to process it, so a dull silence fills the space as he hangs his mouth open, so many objections clustering on the tip of his tongue that he's been rendered speechless. Mostly, it's about the fact that this temporary shard of reality is so fragile that nobody can hope for the stability that such a sneaky child would even require, but also his quandary stems from the absolute snarl of sexual politics that comes from being in a world with humans and with askans that can take human form. Halfbreeds of any kind are asking for trouble.]

Re: audio | un: L . L

[sereneflame]

Talismans? Do you mean magic can cure this?

[She huffs, both caught by the idea and suddenly so annoyed. Of course magic can cure this but who are the magicians?! That's an entire new search]

Laedo, if there were such things as talismans on my world I wouldn't wear it, I'd have it bolted into my skin as a piercing and damn any fashions that clashed.

[asscan]

[Laedo makes a small, disgusted noise in the back of his very long throat.]

Spare me the gory details. Talismans are not hard to make. They're....

[Goddess, it's embarrassing to admit this, but he's learned to loosen up over the last few months.]

They're one of the first field spells we learned upon entering the Guard. You merely wear a bangle and snap it to activate it, then snap it again when you're done to be rid of the... evidence....

[This is the most mortifying conversation he's ever had with a human, barring his wonderful time with Stupid Sexy Achilles' Naked Buns.]

...I'll make a dozen or so. Distribute them if you must. I don't want to discover fraternisations tearing this team apart over undesirable... outcomes... ugh.

[sereneflame]

[There's a brief silence as her jaw drops]

You're going to make me a magical talisman? Just like that? I don't have to earn it?

[Surely that's the sort of gift she needs to save a kingdom for, not just mention her need out into the air...

And what a need he's been trained to fill]

Your soldiers get taught how to make magic douching bracelets? Haha! Even among your kind we're all exactly the same.

[She can't quite imagine a barracks room where soldiers the size of Laedo would hang out and share bunks, or even exactly how that sort of act works among his giant, multilimbed species, but his mincing implications are unmistakeable]

[asscan]

Oh my goddess... [Laedo mutters, entrenched in pure mortification. One can practically hear his paw clapping over his snout in horror.]

No, we're not all exactly the same, but humans are... notorious... for doing things you're talking about doing. Some like to entrap Guards with... half-breed get. It's not always the woman who wears the talisman, after all. It's a relations and sanitary issue, can we please not go into this in depth?

[He's hit his wall and he's more or less got itchy network-shut-down fingers right now.]

They won't be ready immediately, please refrain from... requiring them... immediately. I'll see you when I see you, Serene, Goddess' hairy hind teets-- [Yep, he's scrambled to toss his network bangle aside in order to nope out of the conversation.]

[sereneflame]

Wait wait wait! You can't say all that and not answer my questions!

['Entrap'? Creatures like him can be attracted to humen so easily they need magic bracelets? Are the bracelets only to protect against humans? How big are these halfbreed babies??

But from the sounds of it she's going to have to ask these questions when he comes around to deliver her magic gift. As wary as she is of a predator who could bite her in half, this embarrassed snit of his has gone a long way to her seeing him as less of a being higher on a food chain and more or a person, one who's obviously got his own weak points. Still, she's going to have to do her best not to cackle at him for now.]