001 [voice] @SERENE

[sereneflame]

[Serene has never tried making these posts before and thus she's as formal as if she's making a speech, keeping her voice well-modulated and calm. She's matter of fact, unembarrassed by the subject she's raising]

Good afternoon. I hope that someone can help me in an urgent matter, but I fear this is a long shot.

I am looking for the wombsbane herb and I was wondering: are any of you cultivating a patch in private? Back home it grows as free as a weed but I have trekked through the gardens and forest here and have not seen as much as a seedling.

If not, are there any herbs from other worlds here that will lighten my menstruation and will render my womb barren? Womanhood is a burden I like to minimise as much as possible.

I thank you in advance for your time.



OOC: replies will come tomorrow!

Comments

Re: audio | un: L . L

[sereneflame]

Talismans? Do you mean magic can cure this?

[She huffs, both caught by the idea and suddenly so annoyed. Of course magic can cure this but who are the magicians?! That's an entire new search]

Laedo, if there were such things as talismans on my world I wouldn't wear it, I'd have it bolted into my skin as a piercing and damn any fashions that clashed.

[asscan]

[Laedo makes a small, disgusted noise in the back of his very long throat.]

Spare me the gory details. Talismans are not hard to make. They're....

[Goddess, it's embarrassing to admit this, but he's learned to loosen up over the last few months.]

They're one of the first field spells we learned upon entering the Guard. You merely wear a bangle and snap it to activate it, then snap it again when you're done to be rid of the... evidence....

[This is the most mortifying conversation he's ever had with a human, barring his wonderful time with Stupid Sexy Achilles' Naked Buns.]

...I'll make a dozen or so. Distribute them if you must. I don't want to discover fraternisations tearing this team apart over undesirable... outcomes... ugh.

[sereneflame]

[There's a brief silence as her jaw drops]

You're going to make me a magical talisman? Just like that? I don't have to earn it?

[Surely that's the sort of gift she needs to save a kingdom for, not just mention her need out into the air...

And what a need he's been trained to fill]

Your soldiers get taught how to make magic douching bracelets? Haha! Even among your kind we're all exactly the same.

[She can't quite imagine a barracks room where soldiers the size of Laedo would hang out and share bunks, or even exactly how that sort of act works among his giant, multilimbed species, but his mincing implications are unmistakeable]

[asscan]

Oh my goddess... [Laedo mutters, entrenched in pure mortification. One can practically hear his paw clapping over his snout in horror.]

No, we're not all exactly the same, but humans are... notorious... for doing things you're talking about doing. Some like to entrap Guards with... half-breed get. It's not always the woman who wears the talisman, after all. It's a relations and sanitary issue, can we please not go into this in depth?

[He's hit his wall and he's more or less got itchy network-shut-down fingers right now.]

They won't be ready immediately, please refrain from... requiring them... immediately. I'll see you when I see you, Serene, Goddess' hairy hind teets-- [Yep, he's scrambled to toss his network bangle aside in order to nope out of the conversation.]

[sereneflame]

Wait wait wait! You can't say all that and not answer my questions!

['Entrap'? Creatures like him can be attracted to humen so easily they need magic bracelets? Are the bracelets only to protect against humans? How big are these halfbreed babies??

But from the sounds of it she's going to have to ask these questions when he comes around to deliver her magic gift. As wary as she is of a predator who could bite her in half, this embarrassed snit of his has gone a long way to her seeing him as less of a being higher on a food chain and more or a person, one who's obviously got his own weak points. Still, she's going to have to do her best not to cackle at him for now.]