video; [KINGOFHEROES]

[babbylon]

[The feed opens to Gilgamesh lounging on a couch, wine in hand, smirking faintly at nothing in particular. A snowy white lion which some of you may recognize lies curled on the floor, napping away; as for Gilgamesh himself, he's as relaxed as could be. Quite a far cry from his time in imprisonment.

And indeed, when he speaks, he sounds confident as ever—albeit in a lazy sort of way, words flowing like syrup.]

What does "heroism" mean to you?

[An open-ended question he allows to hang, for a moment or so, before continuing on.]

Would you consider what we're doing here to fall along those lines? Or, perhaps... yes, I'm aware some of you are new to this little group activity of ours, regarding the sun. And doubtful that you're all as sincerely invested as ALASTAIR wishes us to be. It does seem a bit trifling.

[Only Gilgamesh could consider the death of light itself to be trifling. He yawns, then rolls over, kicking his feet impatiently like a child awaiting entertainment.]

If they all died, it wouldn't really matter, would it? ALASTAIR would spirit us away to the next grand adventure and the cycle starts anew.

[In his obstinance, Gilgamesh dumps his wine right on the floor. He seems to revel in it, in the mess he's made. In the mess he intends to make.]

So I suppose what I'm asking is [smile blossoming into a grin] do you believe it's possible to save everyone, at the expense of yourself? Is that the proper way of a hero, or just someone naive enough to pursue "goodness"? To those we put atop pedestals, were they ever worth admiring at all?

[His eyes narrow at his jewelry. To call them serpentine would be an understatement.]

To those who believe firmly in the principles of justice—do you earnestly think you were doing the right thing all along? I wonder.

Comments

[boneafide]

We may leave, but they'll still be here to live with whatever happens. If anyone died, then they'd be sad. It's pretty simple! But it's alright, you clearly have a lot of questions, and so I will gladly answer them all for you!

[babbylon]

[...]

...don't you have anything better to do?

[Oh, irony. You are lost upon both parties involved here.]

[boneafide]

[ THE SUPREME IRONY is happening on so many levels. ]

Helping people is always a high priority of mine! So if you have questions, then no, I don't! Nyeh heh heh!

[babbylon]

[What a nerd. Exactly the sort he's fishing for, in fact.]

But you do know it simply isn't possible to help them all. What kind of fool would you have to be to believe that?

[boneafide]

No, I don't know that- because it's not true. We can help them all! We just have to keep trying! I think we're doing pretty well so far!

[ But he won't argue on the 'fool' point- because he knows he's not. But hey, if it makes Gil feel better to say it... ]

[babbylon]

This isn't some cartoon or comic book, you know. It's real life.

[And if he really did believe otherwise, there's not a word strong enough for what he is.]

Someday, you'll let someone down, and you'll regret it.

[boneafide]

I know that.

[ But he's a talking skeleton who is friends with a fish woman and a giant robot, and you're a trashy supernatural brat. Come on. ]

Wow! Can you see the future? Do you know that for sure? Because you know, it's really not nice to lie.

[babbylon]

[It gets a short laugh from him. It's not particularly kind, but nor is it cruel.]

I could, once. In a sense.

[boneafide]

Knowing what's going to happen before it happens is one of the most powerful magic powers of all!

What happened??

[babbylon]

Oh, I killed everyone.

[He means to say that he tried.]

1/GOD I DONT KNOW

[boneafide]

2/???

[boneafide]

Uh-

3/3 for now .........

[boneafide]

That... sounds like not the whole story, and maybe, an exaggeration...

[babbylon]

Why? Did you still want to be my friend?

[Yes, Papyrus, he knows your type. Go on. Ask.]

1/2

[boneafide]

...

2/2

[boneafide]

... Yes! I do!

Even though you sound like a complete freaking weirdo!

[babbylon]

It does require a certain trial.

I'm not sure if you're DETERMINED enough for it.

[boneafide]

I will have you know that my determination levels are high enough to conquer any kind of trial you propose!

...That does not require me to kill anyone.

[babbylon]

Then you've already failed.

[boneafide]

... You wanted me to kill someone for your trial?

[babbylon]

I suppose you'll never know. As I said, you've already failed to meet my standards.

[boneafide]

LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!!

[babbylon]

LOWER YOURSELF INTO THE DIRT!!

BY WHICH I MEAN DIE!!

DON'T EVER ASK THE KING OF HEROES TO ADJUST HIS STANDARDS FOR THE WEAK AND THE PITIFUL SUCH AS YOURSELF!! IT'S FORBIDDEN!!

MEASURE UP OR PACK IT UP!!

THOSE ARE YOUR ONLY OPTIONS!!

...

SO THERE!!

[boneafide]

OH ARE WE YELLING NOW? OKAY GOOD, I PREFER YELLING!!

IF YOU WERE REALLY THE KING OF HEROES, YOU WOULDN'T NEED PEOPLE TO DIE TO MAKE FRIENDS!!!!! THE BEST FRIEND YOU CAN EVER HAVE IS THE ONE THAT ACCEPTS YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, AND WANTS YOU TO BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE!!

AND YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND!! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T SEE YOU DOING???

TRYING!!!!!!!

LOOK AT HOW LAZY YOU ARE!! I DIDN'T MENTION IT EARLIER BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE POLITE, BUT YOU EVEN MADE A MESS WITH YOUR DRINK!! IT'S GOING TO TAKE A LOT OF BLEACH TO GET THAT OUT OF CARPET!!

MOVING ON!! I'VE DECIDED NOW... I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF TO BE YOUR FRIEND. YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF... TO BE MINE!!!!!

take 2.....

[humerous]

[Yeah, he'll just be keeping a closer eye on this conversation from here on out.]