video; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

[The video is carefully cropped so 82736775's face isn't visible, focused at chest-level. A chest that is clothed in a nebulously green fabric, incidentally (it's a dinosaur kigurumi).]

Hey, what up. So a-a-apparently nobody else is sick of sitting around and waiting for fake impossible "magic answers" to land in our lap with respect to our job. Remember that thing we're supposed to be doing? About the freakin' endless darkness plaguing this world? Yeah.

[His hands come into frame, holding a beat-up metal tube with a bunch of science-looking shit stuck to it, like some lights and buttons and stuff. Maybe there are some exposed wires but don't pay any attention to that.]

This... is a telescope. I'm showing it to you in case you come from a world where they're called something dumb. Like a sky-tube or something, I dunno. Just trying to mitigate stuUUuuurr-- stupid questions.

I have an ass-load of these things and I can make more. If you're wondering how, the answer is I'm a genius. [He lowers the telescope.] They're all hooked up to my, uh... something I have; th-th-that -- that's not important. The point is, I need volunteers to take these things out to the highest vantage points around, aim them at the sky, and take readings.

[One finger goes up.] First, if you don't know how to look through one end of a thing and listen for beeps, you're too stupid to use these so don't even ask. Go hit some shit with rocks, that's pr-probably more your speed.

[A second finger goes up.] Don't use them to be peeping toms. This is science, not an excuse to be a gross purrrrr-- perv.

[A third finger goes up.] This all needs to be at the same time. In a few days, the sky should be clear enough for a decent reading across the b-- urrrp -- board.

Serious inquiries only. I'm not here to dick around. Name a place and I'll drop off the machine.

[The hand throws up the sign of the horns before the video ends.] I'm out.

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Comments

username: michaelis (audio)

[cutlery]

Ah, here we are. This seems to be quite a bit more productive, so thank you, sir.

[ Sebastian does sound quite genuinely pleased, and as he continues, even a little cheerful. After all, he does love technology, so this definitely has a bit more interest to him as a result. ]

It would be my pleasure to assist. I am staying in a room above the apothecary, but I can also come meet you in a particular location if that is more convenient.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Gratitude is nice! You will go far with Rick if you show gratitude.]

Nah, that's cool. What is that, human side of town?

[cutlery]

[ Then Rick will be quite pleased with Sebastian! He's Mr. Overly Polite, so gratitude is something he always has to give. ]

That is correct.

[ A pause, and then he adds, ]

Since she has made something of a name for herself, if you know the young lady, Miss Sieglinde Sullivan, then it is her place of residence. I am her butler for the time being, so I am sharing the space with her.

[ricksybusiness]

[That's good, because tons of people here are fucking rude. Poking holes in his generosity, shameful.]

I think I'd remember that name. [Sieglinde????] You're a butler?

[cutlery]

[ He makes a light noise at first, since he's about to clarify on where the apothecary is just to be certain, but it turns to a smooth laugh at the question that follows. ]

Why, yes, I am. I serve an earl of England, but as my master is not here, then it seemed proper to instead lend my service to a friend of his.

[ricksybusiness]

Wow. They really picked a... wide range-- a wide selection of people for this, huh?

[cutlery]

[ Sebastian laughs warmly in response, since yeah... He knows... For some reason, people think a butler being recruited is odd!! ]

So it would seem. Though if it makes things any clearer, I am a bit more skilled than the average butler, if you will excuse my saying so. If I were to guess, that would be why I was "recruited," as it were.

[ricksybusiness]

Cool. I'll let you know if I need socks folded. [HE DOESN'T CARE.]

Sooooo, the apothecary.

[cutlery]

[ At least he'll just move on smoothly, since he can't exactly take the comment badly... It's not like he doesn't fold socks, alas. ]

That is correct. I will be here for the rest of the day, should you wish to drop by.

[ricksybusiness]

Alright. [No rush, so he will take his sweet time with this one.] I'll be by later.

Video | un: sieglindesullivan

[grunehexe]

I am she.

[Behold, Sieglinde Sullivan, the Green Witch, genius, unwitting creator of chemical weaponry... ! And eleven year old girl in a fancy dress at a desk surrounded by a staggering amount of notes, vials, and half-finished "magic circles" that are suspiciously similar to atomic models but. That's neither here nor there.]

I see Sebastian has already volunteered his services- I would also be quite pleased to participate in your "science" experiment. Perhaps it may yield useful data, as you say.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[This is an actual child, and Rick is extremely puzzled as to why Jeeves up there would talk about her like she's some kind of big shot. Is this some kind of elaborate prank...]

Right... I mean, it's not gonna be a baking soda volcano. This is important shit. Real science.

[grunehexe]

[For all that it most definitely is a child there... She at least acts and speaks like an adult, appraising his words with a skeptical look.]

I do not know what you mean by a "baking soda volcano", but if you mean to cast doubt upon my abilities to handle this equipment... ?

[ricksybusiness]

That's exactly what I mean. [To the point!] Just don't screw around with my telescope.

[grunehexe]

I've no intention of treating your equipment lightly.

[ricksybusiness]

Well... good. Don't.

[grunehexe]

I shall not.