video; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

[The video is carefully cropped so 82736775's face isn't visible, focused at chest-level. A chest that is clothed in a nebulously green fabric, incidentally (it's a dinosaur kigurumi).]

Hey, what up. So a-a-apparently nobody else is sick of sitting around and waiting for fake impossible "magic answers" to land in our lap with respect to our job. Remember that thing we're supposed to be doing? About the freakin' endless darkness plaguing this world? Yeah.

[His hands come into frame, holding a beat-up metal tube with a bunch of science-looking shit stuck to it, like some lights and buttons and stuff. Maybe there are some exposed wires but don't pay any attention to that.]

This... is a telescope. I'm showing it to you in case you come from a world where they're called something dumb. Like a sky-tube or something, I dunno. Just trying to mitigate stuUUuuurr-- stupid questions.

I have an ass-load of these things and I can make more. If you're wondering how, the answer is I'm a genius. [He lowers the telescope.] They're all hooked up to my, uh... something I have; th-th-that -- that's not important. The point is, I need volunteers to take these things out to the highest vantage points around, aim them at the sky, and take readings.

[One finger goes up.] First, if you don't know how to look through one end of a thing and listen for beeps, you're too stupid to use these so don't even ask. Go hit some shit with rocks, that's pr-probably more your speed.

[A second finger goes up.] Don't use them to be peeping toms. This is science, not an excuse to be a gross purrrrr-- perv.

[A third finger goes up.] This all needs to be at the same time. In a few days, the sky should be clear enough for a decent reading across the b-- urrrp -- board.

Serious inquiries only. I'm not here to dick around. Name a place and I'll drop off the machine.

[The hand throws up the sign of the horns before the video ends.] I'm out.

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Comments

audio; un: korra

[alphatar]

Sounds easy enough. Anything in particular we need to do when taking these readings?

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Yeah, don't fall asleep.

[Rick may or may not have a very low opinion about the intelligence quotient around here.]

There's a display on the side you can monitor if you want to be useful; ping me if anything looks weird. If you don't know anything about space, just listen for the beeps and try not to break anything.

audio;

[alphatar]

Count me in then. If you need someone at the highest point you've got the right person.

I'm outside the town near the gates if you want to drop it off right now.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Word. What do you look like?

audio -> video;

[alphatar]

What do I sound like?

[A tiny bit of sass, just for fun. Her feed comes on to show her adjusting the saddle on a polar bear dog.]

Hey, I'm Korra. [Also her username. AMAZE.] Just look for Naga here. She's usually with me. Any chance you have a collapsible telescope?

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[A teenage pain-in-the-ass, that's what she sounds like! And look at that, he was right. Rick sighs.]

Great. More animals. I-i-it doesn't collapse, there's too much technical work involved inside. I can throw in, like, a big bag to carry it in, though.

[alphatar]

[She has no idea the keen accuracy of Rick's judgmental eye.]

That'll make things easier for us, thanks!

For what it's worth, I'm glad we have a science genius helping out. This is out of my league, probably a lot of others too.