video; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

[The video is carefully cropped so 82736775's face isn't visible, focused at chest-level. A chest that is clothed in a nebulously green fabric, incidentally (it's a dinosaur kigurumi).]

Hey, what up. So a-a-apparently nobody else is sick of sitting around and waiting for fake impossible "magic answers" to land in our lap with respect to our job. Remember that thing we're supposed to be doing? About the freakin' endless darkness plaguing this world? Yeah.

[His hands come into frame, holding a beat-up metal tube with a bunch of science-looking shit stuck to it, like some lights and buttons and stuff. Maybe there are some exposed wires but don't pay any attention to that.]

This... is a telescope. I'm showing it to you in case you come from a world where they're called something dumb. Like a sky-tube or something, I dunno. Just trying to mitigate stuUUuuurr-- stupid questions.

I have an ass-load of these things and I can make more. If you're wondering how, the answer is I'm a genius. [He lowers the telescope.] They're all hooked up to my, uh... something I have; th-th-that -- that's not important. The point is, I need volunteers to take these things out to the highest vantage points around, aim them at the sky, and take readings.

[One finger goes up.] First, if you don't know how to look through one end of a thing and listen for beeps, you're too stupid to use these so don't even ask. Go hit some shit with rocks, that's pr-probably more your speed.

[A second finger goes up.] Don't use them to be peeping toms. This is science, not an excuse to be a gross purrrrr-- perv.

[A third finger goes up.] This all needs to be at the same time. In a few days, the sky should be clear enough for a decent reading across the b-- urrrp -- board.

Serious inquiries only. I'm not here to dick around. Name a place and I'll drop off the machine.

[The hand throws up the sign of the horns before the video ends.] I'm out.

[ click here for ooc sign-ups! ]

Comments

audio;

[anti_altruisms]

[ He is very Hot Topic. ]

You won't be.

[ He's already on his way. ]

=> action;

[ricksybusiness]

[HE'D BETTER NOT, that's all he has to say. He has a lot of deliveries to make, apparently. His one reprieve is that most people seem to be selecting taverns as drop-off points, which is great, because Rick is a massive alcoholic.

His portal gun allows him to move around the city nearly instantaneously, so it doesn't take him any more than a few literal seconds before he's there. He immediately goes to get a drink, then just stands around and waits for this Goth guy to show up.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ Rick only has to wait one (maybe two) minutes before Archer appears.

It's not a typical arrival, either, as one moment there's an empty seat besides Rick, and the next, there's a man sitting there.

He simply quirks a brow as though nothing out of the ordinary just happened. ]

I don't believe we were properly introduced last time.

[ricksybusiness]

Jesus --! [Rick jumps a little, startled by the sudden appearance, then glares and rubs at his face.] Wow, pull a rabbit out of your hat next? Christ.

[He picks up a telescope resting on the seat next to him.] I don't like to use my name where who-knows-what is listening. But it's Rick. Don't spread it around.

[anti_altruisms]

[ That comment earns a small, sardonic smile. ]

I don't have any rabbits in my hat, unfortunately.

[ Just swords. A hell of a lot of swords. ]

Archer. I'll be sure not to repeat it.

[ He tilts his head slightly. ]

The device?

[ He's all business. ]

[ricksybusiness]

[It's appreciated; small talk is a complete waste of time. Though this dude -- Archer -- could probably stand to get a sense of humor.

Rick holds out the telescope.] There you go. Pretty straightforward.

[anti_altruisms]

[ Oh, he has one. It's just a little morbid.

He takes the telescope and looks at it. It seems simple enough. ]

I'll make good use of it. I expect you want these returned intact?

[ricksybusiness]

[What a question.]

Uh, yeah. I can repurpose the urrrrp-- the parts.

[anti_altruisms]

[ Look, it's good to be absolutely clear about these things. ]

So noted.

If this endeavor proves successful, I'll treat you to a round of drinks.

[ricksybusiness]

You might regret that later, bud-- urrrrp-- buddy. [He drinks a lot. If that wasn't clear.

Rick gets up to leave, waving over his shoulder.] See you around.

[anti_altruisms]

[ Archer simply smiles. ]

I doubt it.

[ He rises to take his leave. ]

Until next time, Rick.