video; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

[The video is carefully cropped so 82736775's face isn't visible, focused at chest-level. A chest that is clothed in a nebulously green fabric, incidentally (it's a dinosaur kigurumi).]

Hey, what up. So a-a-apparently nobody else is sick of sitting around and waiting for fake impossible "magic answers" to land in our lap with respect to our job. Remember that thing we're supposed to be doing? About the freakin' endless darkness plaguing this world? Yeah.

[His hands come into frame, holding a beat-up metal tube with a bunch of science-looking shit stuck to it, like some lights and buttons and stuff. Maybe there are some exposed wires but don't pay any attention to that.]

This... is a telescope. I'm showing it to you in case you come from a world where they're called something dumb. Like a sky-tube or something, I dunno. Just trying to mitigate stuUUuuurr-- stupid questions.

I have an ass-load of these things and I can make more. If you're wondering how, the answer is I'm a genius. [He lowers the telescope.] They're all hooked up to my, uh... something I have; th-th-that -- that's not important. The point is, I need volunteers to take these things out to the highest vantage points around, aim them at the sky, and take readings.

[One finger goes up.] First, if you don't know how to look through one end of a thing and listen for beeps, you're too stupid to use these so don't even ask. Go hit some shit with rocks, that's pr-probably more your speed.

[A second finger goes up.] Don't use them to be peeping toms. This is science, not an excuse to be a gross purrrrr-- perv.

[A third finger goes up.] This all needs to be at the same time. In a few days, the sky should be clear enough for a decent reading across the b-- urrrp -- board.

Serious inquiries only. I'm not here to dick around. Name a place and I'll drop off the machine.

[The hand throws up the sign of the horns before the video ends.] I'm out.

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Comments

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick's skill is only really limited by 1) materials and 2) his own enthusiasm in any given project. 'Magic' is new and novel to him, so he's interested -- though who knows how long that'll last.]

Can we keep the judgement to a mini--minimum?

1/2

[defenceless]

Will you ask me with a "please"?

[sorry, rick, she's a snooty brat.]

2/2

[defenceless]

More importantly, I want in on what you're doing here. With the telescopes. We could even start your "collaboration", now—because if you gave me several telescopes, I'd be able to strap them to flying familiars of mine.

[ricksybusiness]

['please shut your fucking face' is the best she can hope for, so it's probably a good thing she changes the subject.]

Fine by me. How many?

[defenceless]

[omg]

Uh... five. So counting me, and Archer, that's seven.

[ricksybusiness]

[Squint. Archer probably isn't a common name.] The Billy Idol motherfucker? Already done.

[defenceless]

I don't know who Billy Idol is!

[she almost seems offended!]

He's my Servant, so he lives with me. But I guess he's gone and done his own thing and didn't even tell you a word about me.

[ricksybusiness]

[STUDY UP ON YOUR POP CULTURE, RIN.]

Your servant. [da fuq]

[defenceless]

... Yes. I magically summoned him. He can't survive without a supply of magical energy. Without me there for our link to act as a sort of tether to keep him tied to the real world, he'd just fade away. He's a powerful heroic figure drawn from humanity, but he's essentially a familiar, himself.

[your almost-granddaughter is living with a gigantic adult man]

[ricksybusiness]

Um, I don't know much about your Lisa Frank lifestyle choices, but that sounds like a demon.

[defenceless]

I thought you don't believe in demons.

[yeah, she's feeling pretty smart right now.]

[ricksybusiness]

I don't believe in God or "magic." Demons exist. They're like ghosts. Can't argue with science.

this is so fitting after i just watched that one episode

[defenceless]

How are demons and ghosts science...?

[she'll break her brain if she tries to wrap her head around it too much, she's sure. rin eventually just scrunches up her face and shrugs.]

Well, whatever. Come to the Voclain with six of your telescopes. I'll handle the rest.

i'm so glad it worked out like this

[ricksybusiness]

[Yeah, when dealing with Rick, 'just don't think about it' usually applies.]

Vo-voclain! Fancy. I'll be right over.