video | username: merlin

[servant]

[It's the first time that Merlin's broadcasted a video of his own, normally content to just poke his nose into others. He's sitting at a table, chin propped up on his fist, the universal pose of Deep Thought.]

I've been thinking a lot lately. [And that would be the point where Arthur would inevitably have something to say about that. It feels...odd, being able to continue without interruption. And not in an entirely good way.] About the humans and the goblins, but mostly about those who found themselves caught in-between. It's difficult, living your life in secret, wondering where you fit in, if you fit in at all.

[He's getting that wounded bear face again, a long expression with sad round eyes.]

I'm not trying to excuse anything terrible that's been done. By anyone. I was only wondering if anyone else knows what it's like to feel like an outcast.

Comments

video; un: deathweaver

[respired]

Yes. Keeping my status secret was never an option, either. I was marked for exactly what I am.

video

[servant]

Who was it that marked you? And...uhm [at the risk of sounding rude] what would that be?

[respired]

Anyone at all. The people of my realm know a death knight when they see one. And they are rarely happy to do so.

[servant]

A death knight? [Merlin sounds a little surprised when he repeats the words. He's very familiar with knights, and okay, he doesn't know exactly what a death knight is...but it doesn't sound pleasant.] What about your mother?

[respired]

[He's so surprised by that question that he just starts laughing. It's an awful, guttural, echoing noise.]

She's long gone. Thank the Light that she never lived to see me as I am now.

[servant]

[Sorry Koltira, Merlin just might be a bit of a mama's boy. But in his experience, mothers love their children no matter what.]

So you weren't always a death knight?

[respired]

No. I was killed and raised into undeath. It does not endear me to most.

[servant]

[He instantly thinks of the black knight, the wraith that was once Arthur's uncle. Koltira seems different from that though.]

But how was that your fault? Even if dark magic was involved, it's more the sorcerer who used it that's to blame.

[respired]

My kind were enslaved, yes. But we committed many atrocities while subjugated. History remembers who gave the orders. Individuals remember the hands that held the sword.

VIDEO. UN: LOKI

[selfimage]

[ there's no way that he's going to humor that feeling of being an outcast, his name carries enough of that in itself. ]

There's always a reason for terrible things. There's something about riots and those unheard to heed. No one likes unnecessary violence, unless it comes with a few nice explosions ... [ that last part is a bit more to himself. ]

video | username: saber

[invisiblade]

["I've been thinking a lot lately" a dangerous pass time, for certain. at least, Arturia always found herself cringing whenever her Merlin would start off conversation with such a statement. but the words that follow catch her off guard... living one's life in secret, it's a concept that hits all too close to home for her. however, she's quite surprised to hear him talk about it as though he were referring to himself. she never knew her court magus to be shy about what he was, so she'd just assumed it would be the same for this other Merlin.... but perhaps, that is not the case?

it takes a bit of time, due her being technically challenged, but Saber eventually manages to get her enchanted bracelet to broadcast video of her in response. she's tucked away in the privacy of her hotel room, a plush throw tossed about her shoulders as she rests nearby the fireplace to keep warm.]

Your chosen topic of discussion reads rather melancholy, Merlin. Is it the cold weather that's responsible for this disheartened atmosphere, or is there something more pressing on your mind?

[servant]

But is it always a good enough reason? Here, for example. Where do you draw the line?

[servant]

[He grows quiet at that, because it makes sense. Of course people would fear him.]

At least you're free here, aren't you?

[servant]

[At least she gets a smile out of him. And something about her gentle chiding...it makes him think of Arthur. He never liked the gloomy look on his manservant either.]

What, this? No, my room back at the castle was drafty. I'm used to it. It's just something I've been wondering about for awhile, because I can relate to it.

[selfimage]

That's purely subjective.

[ there's a non-committal shrug. ]

Good enough for them, perhaps. That's how these things work. Someone's wrong, someone's right ...

[ and someone takes advantage of it. usually him. ]

video; username: butterfly

[digophelia]

I've gotten used to it, a long time ago.

[ It's more of a comment she says to herself. ]

But that doesn't matter, what matters is setting things right for both goblins and humans.

[servant]

You too?

[He's definitely surprised by that. Merlin doesn't know her that well yet, but she'd seemed nice, like someone he wouldn't mind having around.]

I'm glad to hear someone say that. It can't be just one or the other, that won't solve anything.

[servant]

I think everyone's a little bit wrong. But what they've done with the sun is... [Merlin shakes his head gently. It's magic that's a little too dark for him - punnily enough.] I don't think they're going to find their acceptance that way.

[digophelia]

We English are a picky sort, I suppose.

[ A former mental patient? Of course she knows how it feels. For the first time, she feels more accepted than she ever did. ]

Or, perhaps, London is just that much of a terrible place.

[ Anyway- ]

You are not alone, there are many who share the same sentiment. It is merely finding a solution that will rectify the status of things and what we can do to change the order. Either way, it will take time.

[respired]

[He shrugs.]

In some ways.

Tell me, what brought you to this line of thought? Are you looked down on by your people?

[invisiblade]

Nonetheless, past built resilience to lofty quarters does not grant you immunity to the harsher toils of winter, I would assume.

[winter is known for wreaking havoc on a person's emotional state, all the more so here in Chantes without a Sun to brighten one's mood. Merlin has always appeared rather chipper throughout past interactions, so she's curious to learn if something has happened more recently to cause this rather uncharacteristic moping.]

I am certain there is not a soul alive who has not felt as much at one point or another.

[their fellow ALASTAIR recruits, especially. are they not all simply trying to find stable ground to put their foot on as they work toward some idealistic notion of a brighter future for everyone here? none of them really belong here, ripped from their home worlds and tossed into the fray of rival goblins and humans and expected to find their place among them. in truth, if any group of people are to be considered outcasts in the truest sense of the word, it would be them.]

What brought this on? This line of thinking... Are you homesick, perhaps?

video | un: leonardo

[kamiizumi]

[Usually, Leo's stuck to text or audio; it's easier to keep things on track.

Still, it's relevant here, so here he is on camera, for once, sitting lotus position (decided this was worth bailing on meditation, apparently).]

There are maybe fifteen mutants, as far as we know, in my world. Other than that, it's humans who mostly don't know we exist.

[Good reasons to live in a sewer.]

[selfimage]

[ it is dark magic. not too dark for Loki, but it's not something he'd like to dabble in 'less he jam a finger on the big red button. ]

Acceptance? We've gone beyond that. Now there are talks of a perfect world—you know, the stuff that's far more disturbing.

video

[viscontree]

You're right. It's difficult to live away from others.

[Memories of the past resurface and he frowns. Oh boy, he can really relate to that.]

As for your question, I would say I understand your feelings to some degree.

[He's just leaving at that for now. Julius is purposely choosing to be vague, but he will talk more later.]

video; un: sion

[sunderings]

You speak from experience.

[ It isn't a question, for Merlin himself hasn't left room for it to be one. ]

Tell me, then, how is it that you would peaceably carve a place for yourself in a world which would reject all that you are?

[ His interest is genuine, just as his smile is distinctly empathetic, but more than that his golden eyes seem to ask: just what sort of person are you?. ]