video | username: merlin

[servant]

[It's the first time that Merlin's broadcasted a video of his own, normally content to just poke his nose into others. He's sitting at a table, chin propped up on his fist, the universal pose of Deep Thought.]

I've been thinking a lot lately. [And that would be the point where Arthur would inevitably have something to say about that. It feels...odd, being able to continue without interruption. And not in an entirely good way.] About the humans and the goblins, but mostly about those who found themselves caught in-between. It's difficult, living your life in secret, wondering where you fit in, if you fit in at all.

[He's getting that wounded bear face again, a long expression with sad round eyes.]

I'm not trying to excuse anything terrible that's been done. By anyone. I was only wondering if anyone else knows what it's like to feel like an outcast.

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video; username: butterfly

[digophelia]

I've gotten used to it, a long time ago.

[ It's more of a comment she says to herself. ]

But that doesn't matter, what matters is setting things right for both goblins and humans.

[servant]

You too?

[He's definitely surprised by that. Merlin doesn't know her that well yet, but she'd seemed nice, like someone he wouldn't mind having around.]

I'm glad to hear someone say that. It can't be just one or the other, that won't solve anything.

[digophelia]

We English are a picky sort, I suppose.

[ A former mental patient? Of course she knows how it feels. For the first time, she feels more accepted than she ever did. ]

Or, perhaps, London is just that much of a terrible place.

[ Anyway- ]

You are not alone, there are many who share the same sentiment. It is merely finding a solution that will rectify the status of things and what we can do to change the order. Either way, it will take time.

[servant]

I wonder if we have enough.

[Merlin has mixed emotions about that. On the one hand, he wants to do his part in making things right here. On the other, he misses Camelot every day.]

You really don't like your home?

[digophelia]

That still doesn't mean that we cannot try, we will find a way, eventually. Regardless of how much time we have left, we can still make an impact, one way or the other.

[ Whereas Alice is far too stubborn to throw in the towel. But that next question... ]

London was never really my home.

[servant]

We have to.

[Her words make him feel a little bit lighter-hearted. They come the closest to how he feels.]

Where is your home?

[digophelia]

I'm glad that you agree. Please, don't lose sight of that; there are stories about you as much as King Arthur.

[ She's glad for that; as cynical and dark as she can be, Alice can be supportive. ]

My home was Oxford.

[servant]

Alright.

[Merlin gives her a nervous little smile. That's still amazing to him. He does so much of his work from the shadows.]

Was it at least a nicer place?

[digophelia]

[ Aside from Merlin's youth, Alice is surprised by his modesty. ]

Significantly so. Oxford is cleaner and brighter than London.

[servant]

Why did you leave it and go to London?

[digophelia]

It wasn't my choice to leave it.

[ A mistake, but an understandable, all too common mistake. ]

I found myself in London after my family passed away.

[servant]

[Merlin blinks at that, his breath catching so softly that it's nearly inaudible.]

I'm sorry about your family.

[digophelia]

[ She'll never admit that she hates when people say "I'm sorry" when they hear that her family passed on. ]

You have nothing to apologize for, you didn't wrong me.

[servant]

I know, it's just...I lost my father just before I came here. It hurts, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[digophelia]

[ Alice's expression shifts ]

I see.

[ Ah, well, she is just as gentle and caring to someone that suffered a similar loss. ]

[ Her family died eleven years ago and as much as the pain is difficult for Alice to process to this day, losing family recently is fresh pain. Merlin seems to be handling it better than she did. Then again, Alice was a child. ]

That's horrible, Merlin. You have my condolences... losing family is never easy and I'm sad to say the pain doesn't go away. But I am glad to see that you haven't lost track of who you are and what you want to do.

[ You know, being a catatonic mess. ]

[servant]

We'd actually only just met. I think that's the thing I regret most - I didn't really get to know him. He was just...gone.

[digophelia]

It doesn't matter, he was still your father. Your grief is no less different than anyone else's.

[servant]

Thank you for that. [Because he knows some people might disagree with that, might argue that he can't properly miss someone he barely knew. But that's one of the things that hurt Merlin the most about it - he never got the chance.] You're a good friend.

[Yes, he used the F word.]

[digophelia]

[ She hasn't had friends in a long time, not before she arrived here. A few people think of her as a friend. It takes a little to process. ]

You're welcome.

[ She has no issues with being called a friend. ]