video; [KINGOFHEROES]

[babbylon]

[Greetings and salutations, comrades of ALASTAIR! The face of a handsome young man opens the feed today, smiling wide and surrounded by lions on his bed. Yes, that's right, lions. Shishi, his mount, sits in the background, with his mate nestled nearby. And atop him, crawling across his legs, over his shoulders, even rubbing at his face, are cubs, golden and white and feisty. They growl and chirp at the jewelry floating just a few feet away, and a particularly brave one bats at it.

Their parents, as well as Gilgamesh himself, look appropriately proud.]

Good day. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting me before, I am Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, and your resident lion tamer. I bred them as a hobby, back in my native Uruk, and so I have once again come into possession of several cubs.

[The cubs themselves appear no more than six weeks old. Gilgamesh has to shift a little to accommodate them, as they are absolutely intent on making the broadcast difficult by shoving their little furry bodies everywhere. Not that it bothers him much—he's laughing under his breath.]

They have all been weaned from their mother and thus are ready for distribution. Alas, I cannot keep so many for myself; I aim to find good homes for them among you all. I do ask you bear in mind these are wild animals at heart, requiring a great degree of time and attention to train.

[Though you'd never know it, seeming so harmless, so adorable.. After a time, Gilgamesh surrenders, and gets swallowed up by their insistent pawing.]

They are not... just... housecats to sit on a shelf and... w-wait, do not touch it...!

[The necklace goes flying down the hall as a mischievous cub bounds after it. Gilgamesh will snatch it back... eventually.]

(( All lions have now found loving homes! Thanks for the interest, everyone! ))

Comments

[babbylon]

[Gilgamesh considers her with a sterner expression. Really, it's more of a test than anything fielded in all seriousness, but he does need to make absolutely certain these cubs are going to good homes rather than simply satisfying a young girl's fantasies.]

Very well, Sakura. Tell me why you believe you would be a good candidate for looking after a lion.

[keystaff]

Why I'd be a good candidate for having one? Oh, um....well, these ones don't breathe fire like Kero-chan. They're not as dangerous. I'd do my best to keep them safe and fed! If I did have one, they could play with Brother too! I'm sure if I asked, Graham-san might help me train them.

[Lion cub could be the most fierce bodyguard. As if anyone would want to mess with Sakura and not be aware of the likely resulting fury of certain ALASTAIR recruits. Of course, if he decides to give one to someone else, she would understand and hope they would be better able to care for the lions.]

[babbylon]

[Gilgamesh decides to head him off at the pass. Sliding out of bed, he gathers up a few cubs in his arms and meets Papyrus by the door. At first he can't quite believe what he sees—Gilgamesh had encountered many strange beasts in his day, yet never living bones—but as a supernatural being himself, he adjusts quickly enough.

Of course he has many, many questions, but first and foremost, he greets Papyrus with a smile.]

Aren't you lively? I suppose I cannot rightly call you dead in any regard.

[The cubs look a little nervous, but he hushes them with a whisper.]

Now, promise me you will be very, very good. Watch your, err, pointier bits around them. Am I understood?

[babbylon]

[A considering hum.]

And what, pray tell, would the great Ranmaru Rindou do with a lion?

go for it, amigo!

[babbylon]

[A very good girl, indeed.

And so he waits.]

why is literally every tag of mine in this thread terrible

[defenceless]

W-Well...! [she knows how raw that whole issue is from their conversation before. but her point is (like she would have clarified then, about how she thinks of gilgamesh now):] I would give a good home to a lion cub you weaned from birth.

you can't use my own shitty memetic humor against me!!!

[babbylon]

[How quick she is to retreat when challenged on her attitudes. Though Gilgamesh must admit, there's a certain appeal to a woman who knows what she wants and fights for it... but she should tread cautiously nonetheless. There's only so much leeway Gilgamesh himself will allow for.]

Truly? I thought the next bit of rubbish out of your mouth would've been absurd claims of ownership.

[He's testing her. Whether or not she gets what she's after will depend on the answer.]

voice | un: archer - private

[anti_altruisms]

If she asks for one, don't give it to her.

[ There's no need to ask whom he means, is there? ]

[babbylon]

[Politely:]

I believe her to be your keeper, not the other way around.

[unoradinary]

Well, the average person gets themselves a normal cat.

So having said that, a lion's just right for me.

[There are a lot of ways to take this, but either way that's her answer, simply put.]

[anti_altruisms]

She already has a pet. Another is unnecessary.

[babbylon]

For you to clean up after.

[Got it in one.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ Shut up, Gil. ]

As I said - she doesn't need another.

[babbylon]

[It seems to satisfy, at any rate. Gilgamesh dips his head in acknowledgment.]

So noted. Then I have one binding condition.

[babbylon]

Perhaps not.

However, I believe we are both in agreement that such a gift would go a long way in establishing good will, of which I am in forever short supply.

[respired]

[ Koltira doesn't miss that careful clutching, but his inscrutable expression doesn't suggest any particular reaction to it, either way. ]

I suppose. Have you placed the lot?

[unoradinary]

Shoot.

[anti_altruisms]

[ Cue linefais. ]

You want to bribe her.

yes i can

[defenceless]

[it's only because... she understands a little bit more now, doesn't she? it's in deference to that she backs away—

or she doesn't especially back away, but she rephrases. she will always fight for what she wants. she's too genuine and too stubborn not to. she isn't afraid or intimidated, because there's no reason to be.

rin closes her eyes, folds her arms across her chest, and whispers loud enough for gilgamesh to hear her, as though it wasn't meant to be a secret whisper at all.]

Ownership, ownership. Slavery. You all focus on those things.

[and they can't be blamed for it, truthfully. archer, koltira, gilgamesh—they really are slaves, much as they would hope to live beyond it. but how she talks to servants is never a matter of simple ownership, even if it sounds like that on the surface.

she opens her blue eyes and meets his scary ones firmly. her hands find themselves resting at her hips.]

Of what? Of you, or of something that belongs to you? I don't care about that. It's an opportunity to build trust between us. That's what I'm saying.

I'll show you the kind of magus I am.

[babbylon]

[Gilgamesh responds to nothing save that very last line, and does so with the clever hints of a smile.]

And what kind of magus are you?

[babbylon]

Bribe is such a nasty word...

[Though not altogether inaccurate.]

[babbylon]

Show me your best and brightest smile.

And show it only to me, because I am very greedy.

[And because I am very fond.]

[babbylon]

Perhaps.

[Perhaps not. Gilgamesh seems cagey about it. And about this conversation.]

[unoradinary]

[...it really is the last thing she expects, but.]

I'll swing by then, yeah?

[Hey, if they meet in person it fulfills one half of that condition.

Lions guarantee the other half will be fulfilled, even if he hadn't asked, really.]

[babbylon]

If you so please. I may look forward to it.

[This also implies he might not. Can't be too obvious in his biases, at least in public.]