king "#1 shitposter" gilgamesh (
babbylon) wrote in
futurology2016-03-10 11:08 pm
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video; [KINGOFHEROES]
[Greetings and salutations, comrades of ALASTAIR! The face of a handsome young man opens the feed today, smiling wide and surrounded by lions on his bed. Yes, that's right, lions. Shishi, his mount, sits in the background, with his mate nestled nearby. And atop him, crawling across his legs, over his shoulders, even rubbing at his face, are cubs, golden and white and feisty. They growl and chirp at the jewelry floating just a few feet away, and a particularly brave one bats at it.
Their parents, as well as Gilgamesh himself, look appropriately proud.]
Good day. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting me before, I am Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, and your resident lion tamer. I bred them as a hobby, back in my native Uruk, and so I have once again come into possession of several cubs.
[The cubs themselves appear no more than six weeks old. Gilgamesh has to shift a little to accommodate them, as they are absolutely intent on making the broadcast difficult by shoving their little furry bodies everywhere. Not that it bothers him much—he's laughing under his breath.]
They have all been weaned from their mother and thus are ready for distribution. Alas, I cannot keep so many for myself; I aim to find good homes for them among you all. I do ask you bear in mind these are wild animals at heart, requiring a great degree of time and attention to train.
[Though you'd never know it, seeming so harmless, so adorable.. After a time, Gilgamesh surrenders, and gets swallowed up by their insistent pawing.]
They are not... just... housecats to sit on a shelf and... w-wait, do not touch it...!
[The necklace goes flying down the hall as a mischievous cub bounds after it. Gilgamesh will snatch it back... eventually.]
(( All lions have now found loving homes! Thanks for the interest, everyone! ))
Their parents, as well as Gilgamesh himself, look appropriately proud.]
Good day. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting me before, I am Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, and your resident lion tamer. I bred them as a hobby, back in my native Uruk, and so I have once again come into possession of several cubs.
[The cubs themselves appear no more than six weeks old. Gilgamesh has to shift a little to accommodate them, as they are absolutely intent on making the broadcast difficult by shoving their little furry bodies everywhere. Not that it bothers him much—he's laughing under his breath.]
They have all been weaned from their mother and thus are ready for distribution. Alas, I cannot keep so many for myself; I aim to find good homes for them among you all. I do ask you bear in mind these are wild animals at heart, requiring a great degree of time and attention to train.
[Though you'd never know it, seeming so harmless, so adorable.. After a time, Gilgamesh surrenders, and gets swallowed up by their insistent pawing.]
They are not... just... housecats to sit on a shelf and... w-wait, do not touch it...!
[The necklace goes flying down the hall as a mischievous cub bounds after it. Gilgamesh will snatch it back... eventually.]
(( All lions have now found loving homes! Thanks for the interest, everyone! ))
video; private - also what icon is that
Shishi would want me to look after one of them, and after some deliberation I've decided to commit to it.
[there was next to no deliberation at all.
she probably wants the one that bounded after the necklace, lbr]
it's what really happened in the credits
YEAH RIGHT
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why is literally every tag of mine in this thread terrible
you can't use my own shitty memetic humor against me!!!
yes i can
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video | un: sieglindesullivan
[Says the girl wearing a certain scarlet and gold ribbon in her hair.]
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private;
private;
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video;
[Oh no. She's. Almost actually tempted. Surely even a fully grown lion couldn't be. All that much more work or dangerous than the likes of Kero with his True Form and accommodating that?
Also, the cubs are adorable. So small and fluffy still at this point.]
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text @ happybirthday | wait for philosophical dilemma
But if Big Cat is b i g... and the littler cats are l i t t l e r... but not cats...
What are they??? 'Smaller-than-Big-Cats' ?
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video | username: olivia
Oh my gosh, they're beautiful...!
[ she hadn't really meant to respond, in all honesty. it had been an accident, mostly, her reaction too swift to stamp down. after a moment, she draws her hands down, revealing cheeks made pink from her embarrassment. ]
U-Um... if you still need some people to care for them, I can offer my services...
[ she doesn't know a thing about raising and rearing lion cubs... but it would break her heart if they didn't have a kind home to go to. ]
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video; 1hitko
But that's probably hard to notice because she is quite literally screaming.]
THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!
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cw: this terrible joke
i wish I could say "I can't believe this" but we've known each other too long 1/2
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video; un: adlantisag
Look, much as she's conflicted about Gilgamesh himself--even she can't stay hardened against the charms of baby cats forever. ]
How sweet...
[ Excuse her, Gil may as well not exist, she's too busy making tickly waving fingers at Shishi and his mate and those precious babies. Congratulations to the proud family...! ]
Had I not already Ninat, I would relieve you.
[ It doesn't occur to her that Gilgamesh hasn't met Ninat. ]
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baby you love my yaoi faces don't even front
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video; un: coolskeleton95
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text | UN: dezel
That's really not what he was expecting. Dezel had definitely been listening carefully to what was said - he is never not listening carefully to what is said - but hearing someone announce they are both a lion tamer and have lion cubs right there with him is... not what he was expecting to hear on the network today, no.
Still, discussion about animals always catch his interest and this one is no different. Even if it's about lions, rather than the local entomology or... dogs...]
When people talk about breeding animals as a hobby they usually mean something on a smaller scale. Like cats, or dogs.
I take it that was a bit too mundane for you?
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gently pats head
fluffs up like a grumpy kitten
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Video, un: pugsnhugs618
Also your lions are great, I'll take them all if no one else has!
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1/2, i'm so sorry
you don't even have to read all this just scroll to the end and assume it was ridiculous
I WAS RIVETED BY EVERY WORD
you're a brave soul..........
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video; un: deathweaver
... they look lively.
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voice | un: archer - private
[ There's no need to ask whom he means, is there? ]
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