text 💎 un: Tohsaka Rin

[defenceless]

If anyone knows how to melt gold, get in contact with me.

[because someone lost her fire powers. yep, that's it. for the most part...

but a brief addition to the message appears a second later.]

If your suggestion is to make something phallic out of it, feel free to still reply. That way I'll know who to mark for execution.

Comments

[defenceless]

I'm not telling you!

[ricksybusiness]

Offended. Wounded, even.

[defenceless]

Good. You can stay wounded and offended all day, for all I care. All mission, even.

[ricksybusiness]

Oh my god. What NOW?

[defenceless]

You piss me off! That's what it always is!

[ricksybusiness]

That sounds like YOUR problem, not mine.

1/2

[defenceless]

Oh, very witty. I bet you have a bunch of those lines. One for every occasion, right?

2/2

[defenceless]

Look, if I let you see it, you have to promise not to steal it.

[ricksybusiness]

[Um duhhh?? Of course he does, what's what makes him so rad, but anyway.]

Yeah yeah, pinky swear, blah blah.

[defenceless]

How fast can you get here?

[ricksybusiness]

Where? I don't have you chipped.

[defenceless]

[not yet, thankfully.]

On the outskirts of Komo. The beach.

=> action

[ricksybusiness]

[He'll get there... sleep with one eye open, Rin.]

Cool. One sec.

[It takes a little longer than one literal second, like maybe a few minutes instead, mostly because Rick is still wary about who knows he has a portal gun. So he had to portal into the jungle and then walk down to the beach.] Hey.

=> action

[defenceless]

[rick actually makes it there before her estimation for drunk, possibly clumsy walking old men, so good on him.

it was minutes, rin. start being more amazed by his science, or at least admitting it's cool.]

Hey.

[she replies back.

odette needs no introduction, so she doesn't really provide one. beside rin stands a grown female mute swan—nothing out of the ordinary about her. she's white, with downy soft feathers. rin tips her head at her.]

This is Odette. She was a baby, still, in Chantes. She's grown since then.

[ricksybusiness]

[That sure is a swan, alright. Rick stands a little ways away, squinting at it. Swans are notoriously rude as shit and he's not dumb.]

Apparently. Where the hell have you been hiding a swan?

[defenceless]

[it's a good move because this waterfowl is as rude as shit as rin is.

she sighs and waves her hand like this question doesn't even deserve to be asked.]

I put her inside a magical barrier when she needs to be transported.

[ricksybusiness]

[The flatness in both Rick's voice and expression says it all, really.] Of course you did.

[He turns his attention to the swan, then, staring at it for a few seconds. Rin said gold, then showed him a swan...]

So, what, does it turn into gold or something? Shit gold?

[defenceless]

Don't be crude!

[probably one of the most worthless comments to scream at rick sanchez ever, but rin does it anyway. once she's calmed down, she brings up a hand. she snaps her fingers. just like that, the swan's normal, mundane feathers and coloring become extravagant gold, and even her eyes are jeweled.]

She is gold. She also laid this.

[rin opens her other hand after dipping it into her pocket to scoop something out.]

... A golden egg.

[yep, that's a solid gold egg, right around the size of a chicken egg.]

[ricksybusiness]

["Don't be crude" -- have you met him, Rin. Please. But anyway, that's a magic swan or something, so Rick is immediately 10,000x more interested. Maybe more because it's a made of precious metals than the magic thing, but still. His interest has been piqued. There is a much better chance of him actually helping out now.

He's staring at the swan, dollar signs practically dancing in his eyes, and has to tear his attention away to actually look at what Rin is holding.]

Oh. Oh. Okay. I get you now. ['cause he was gonna be, like, why don't you just melt the swan but this makes more sense now, capitalistically speaking.] Assuming it hasn't been fertilized and there aren't any more m-magical jewel swans on the way, uh. You just want this melted down?

[defenceless]

[she was afraid of this... although, well, at least rick's a scientist. even if she's still wary of letting him handle her gold, he could give some insight into how to manage her new boon.]

That's right. Into coins or a standard gold bar is what I figured would be most sensible. There's nothing inside. It's pure gold through and through.

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick goes back to eyeballing the egg as Rin resumes talking about it, particularly when the purity of it comes into question.]

It's gonna be like half a k-kilo. More or less. Standard gold bar is 400 grams -- on Earth, by the way. No clue what it'll be on other planets. Or if they'll even care. I guess coins could work, though what are you gonna stamp 'em with?

[defenceless]

Perfectly smooth and shiny would work.

[meaning, leaving them unstamped for the moment. she doesn't exactly offer to pass the egg over even as he examines it.]

Otherwise, I'll enchant it with a design based on the world, or something. I can claim it's a rare type of gold from a different dimension. If they're going to accept it, they'll fall for a convenient claim like that. And then I never have to worry about buying what I want ever again.

[ricksybusiness]

You know on some planets, gold is illegal, right? Or the equivalent of trying to pay for your new shoes with a big ol' handful of shit.

[The golden egg has lost some of its luster in Rick's eyes as he realizes it's just a boring Earth mineral. He's seen better. More expensive. More beautiful. Like everything else, his interest wanes quickly.

He takes his flask out of his coat, gesturing with it vaguely.]

Just saying, don't count your eggs before you understand the planetary socio-economic culture.

[defenceless]

[how is it boring or an earth mineral if it comes from inside a magic swan, rick...?

rin just folds her arms, continuing to look proud of herself.]

I believe I can handle any problems whenever they should happen. In the worst case scenario, I'll just don a disguise for each different outing. It's easier than you'd think, with magic.

[ricksybusiness]

[GOLD IS GOLD OK don't question his cynicism.

Rick unscrews the cap of his flask, but pauses before he takes a drink, instead just squinting at Rin.]

And... what happens if you don't have magic...?