Video | username: owl

[ex_monologuing117]

I fear this will be self indulgent and not necessarily helpful to the goal. I wish to record and reflect on an event I could not before.

[ He takes out a skull to set carefully to the side. A brief pause before he then produces a rather unique-looking teapot. He rests the teapot in his lap before turning the skull so the name carved into the resin is seen -- Oda Nobunaga. ]

Not his real skull, unfortunately, but I hope to one day acquire it as a new cup. [ A sigh. ] Nobunaga-kou allied with me once. He allied to help me remove the legacy of my lord from the world. I believe we have succeeded. So few recall I, too, once was a retainer after all.

Whether my lord deserved that or not isn't for me to say. It was what I wanted. Would it change the narrative if I said my lord killed innocents? Does that then make me a just man? Does it make Nobunaga-kou in his assistance? No. Of course, it doesn't. Murder begets murder but it is not right or just.

This [ He gestures to the teapot. ] is the only treasure that I had to my name. The only thing I could say was mine and mine alone. And Nobunaga-kou was the first ever to corner me.

[ He lifts and drops the teapot. Of course, it shatters onto the ground. It is seconds later that he tosses gunpowder on the unseen pieces before setting the broken mess on fire. ]

And this is how I knew I would live. [ A beat. ] Ashikaga is the sun. He burns bright and burns by accident. No one would wish him dead and mean it truly in their heart. He will survive until his flame burns out. Nobunaga-kou is evil incarnate. He is one that would drown everything in blood. He will die because he is an evil all can see and feel and rally against.

I am an owl. I am the emptiness that exists in all things. Not evil by sin. Not good by virtue. People will come for me but I see myself in them. I shall be replaced one day. An owl is too commonplace to not exist again in the world.

Perhaps, this is what these natives need to learn. But which "this?"

[ He produces a second Hiragumo to drop into the flames. Holding his hands out, he lets them be warned by the fire that he made by destroying something he once held dear. ]

Comments

[respired]

Either path is far easier said than done.

[ But at least he spoke plainly. Koltira's just not the guy for roundabout philosophy. ]

[ex_monologuing117]

Of course, they are.

It was not easy to destroy what was dear to me. It was not easy to break and burn what was once considered the only object connecting to my past, the only treasure to my name, the only piece that I could say was mine in the world. Everything that could be mine was burned or dying.

I chose the first path but knew the second was possible. They are at that crossroads, because their world is at its brink literally rather than figuratively as mine was, good sir.

[respired]

Not easy? Yet what reason did you have to do it, other than to illustrate a long-winded point? As you said, you are in no real danger.

[ex_monologuing117]

Nobunaga-kou wanted my head and Hiragumo. The teapot.

But he only values the heads of those who value their necks. When I showed neither mattered to me, I ceased to be in danger.

[respired]

That man is not here.

[ So what does it matter? This seems too spiritual for Koltira. ]

Is this simply a point you wanted to prove to yourself?

[ex_monologuing117]

Correct.

[ Heh. ]

I wanted to relive a moment in my life. This moment is over twenty years old.

[respired]

More precisely, you wanted an audience for this moment in your life.

[ex_monologuing117]

I only had Nobunaga-kou at that time.

I only have his skull now.

It's not quite the same.

[respired]

Semantics.

I do not think the Nalawi would find your counsel a comfort, regardless. Gods are not gently rejected.

[ex_monologuing117]

It is not meant to be a comfort.

And Gods reject easily for various reasons and rules. Why should not humans reject Gods when they ceases to act "fairly?"

[respired]

Because those same creatures will kill them.

[ex_monologuing117]

So?

Humans kill humans. Whatever you are will kill your own kind. Does that mean you do not reject your own because they could kill you? Does that mean you accept and kneel to anything because you could die? I certainly hope not, and forgive me for twisting your words, but I hope in this context you see how silly they are.

[respired]

You have twisted my words. If you do not understand why a mortal would hesitate to reject a god, you have never met a god.

[ex_monologuing117]

Perhaps not.

But I intend to, good sir.

[respired]

You very well might.

[ He thinks of the shard he found. He thinks of the old gods, with their endless maws, their numberless tentacles, their whispers of madness and hate. He wonders what poison lies in the heart of this world. ]

[ex_monologuing117]

Interesting, interesting.

But the most important question, for one who has seemingly met a god. Are you brave enough to do the same, again?

[respired]

I do not call myself brave, yet I do not fear. I cannot.

[ex_monologuing117]

A loaded question for you, good sir.

Do you wish to save these creatures and this world?

[respired]

Such is my goal.

[ex_monologuing117]

Then, why the half effort?

A half-effort is as much as saying you will only go so far.

I intend to meet a god. I intend to kill that god. I intend to see what will happen after. If you wish to stop me, you should attempt to meet that god first. [ Does he intend to do this? No. But he is curious. He does not know this species and does not know this man. He does not know his temperament and cannot learn how to manipulate without knowing. Those he has seen and those he has spoken to -- he has found it, the pieces that he could call control. Just a little. A small breeze to push into where he wants, and so he tests. ]

[respired]

Why would I stop you? I have killed every god I encountered. Your ridiculous suppositions are not about me. They are about the citizens of this world.

[ex_monologuing117]

But you do not intend to meet this world's god.

You wish to save these people yet killing their god which they are gifted abilities... what would that do to them? [ There is no telling if there is a wound and so he prods. ]

[respired]

When did I say anything about intentions as regards such an encounter? Are you lost in the fog of your own mind, old man? I said we may meet one. We have no guarantee of what we will find at the source of this plague. Nor of what consequences may result when we do. It is too early for such hypotheticals.

[ex_monologuing117]

You said you cannot meet the god of this world, if it may or may not exist. I do not like to repeat what people say to me, so I shall ask you to remember what you say. Unless you do not mean it at all...

... in any case, you have come to understand my point and yet seem to not understand my point. I wonder if you are being purposely obtuse or simply cannot fathom what you said you have done with your own hand.

Either way, it seems there is no wound due to thickness but that will be a lesson for later.

[respired]

Ah, I see. You are simply hard of hearing. I cannot fear, old man.