text | un: Sasaki

[ex_adept136]

Like a few others here, I'm among those who met the goddess Nalanni. And like others there are things I learned from having a conversation with her. First and foremost, I'd like to request some help in conveying a message she intended for her people.

She wanted them to know that she loves them, and that she knows they can go on without her.

At the time, I was struck with the thought that she'd considered her own passing a possibility. And now that I've seen mentions of slaying gods here, it seems she wasn't wrong. Maybe some of you know more than me, but I'm not convinced it's the only way. Having said that, I'm not blind to the reality that those are our orders, and that there are those who will follow them.

I'm more interested in helping the Nalawi. I gave my word that I would do whatever I could, and so... To those who are already making efforts to ensure the Nalawi are able to sustain themselves, whatever may come, I'd like to volunteer any help I can provide.

If anyone wants further information on the conversation I had with Nalanni, please let me know. I'm unsure how much would be redundant, since admittedly, I've picked up on recent developments here and there.

Comments

[winces]

[ her head tilts curiously, and perhaps it is her desperation to think of something — anything — else that she latches onto that. ]

Is.. this something you've had to do before? You and your — squad?

[ex_adept136]

Nothing of such great proportions, but...

[There's a stiffness about his features as he says this, despite his efforts to sound entirely calm about it. The words are almost clinical in their delivery when he continues]

Most often, elimination of a threat is deemed the best course of action.

[winces]

[ olivia can read people fairly well — perhaps not as well as their body language, but well enough to catch the rather rigid, mechanical way he speaks. ]

What kind of threats do you deal with...?

[ex_adept136]

We deal specifically with ghouls. It seems different worlds have different iterations, but to put it briefly...

[That stiffness doesn't really go anywhere]

Ghouls prey only on humans and other ghouls. You wouldn't know them apart from a human unless they were hunting though, chances are.

[A roundabout way of saying that, in fact, they're people.

Not that most like to think so, but being what he is, doesn't he have to believe it?]

[winces]

[ a look of unease passes through her expression, crinkling her brows even further than before. her hands start to wring uncertainly, as she struggles to understand what he's trying to say.

they don't... sound like the risen (as far as she knows, they don't feed on anything) but there is a daunting pang in the pit of her stomach that wants her to liken these ghouls to them anyway. ]

Are they just — born that way?

[ex_adept136]

[This distress isn't entirely too surprising - actually, it's the sort of reaction Haise would've expected sooner. He's spoken little of his vocation, and of ghouls for that matter, because he can expect for most it's a deeply unsettling notion.

In his world, certainly, it is.

For his part, Haise keeps his expression placid]

Usually, yes.

[And then there were cases like his own...]

[winces]

That... seems unfortunate.

[ that they be targeted and hunted down simply for what they are. ]

Are they that much of a threat?

[ex_adept136]

As I'm sure you can imagine...people don't want to be preyed on.

[Though this statement, too, comes with a clinical stiffness.

Haise understands it, and he empathizes with it, but there's a certain awkwardness, knowing he's one of the very things that the public fears. Wants destroyed. He would've been, himself, were he not deemed useful]

[winces]

W-Well, no, but...

[ she's not quite sure how to vocalize it, really. it just doesn't sit too well with her, but she supposes there's no way to really make it fair. ]

Sorry — I don't really know what I'm talking about. I don't mean to bring up something upsetting...

[ex_adept136]

It's a reality I'm quite used to.

[Said with that same forced, clinical air of feigned detachment.

That stiffness seeps out of his tone however when he speaks again]

I think I should be the one apologizing — I can only imagine this subject must be troubling.

[winces]

N-No — don't worry about that! [ she has asked after all... if it's anyone's fault here, it's hers. ]

I guess I just feel bad... It's not like they can help it, can they...?

[ex_adept136]

[Ah... There's a small, furtive smile, just for that.

He's always felt rather alone in such thoughts, back home. Or that it was viewed as a mark of what he was, and little else. On the other hand, Olivia is human, and here she is, concerned all the same]

You have a kind heart, Olivia.

[winces]

[ she makes a startled sound at that, soon swallowed up by a nervous laugh. ]

Wh-What are you saying... It's just a normal thought, isn't it...?!

[ex_adept136]

At least in my experience, thinking in those terms is pretty rare, actually.

[He says those words softly, even a touch wistful.

He's had what he is thrown in his face like an expletive before]

[winces]

That's awful... [ it's not as if olivia hasn't known her fair share of terrible people around.

but just because she knows they exist, doesn't make it any easier to swallow. ]

I'm sorry.

[ex_adept136]

Please don't apologize. I'm sorry if I sounded morose, it's not so bad as all that.

[Well his reality is pretty bleak in some ways but he's surely not going to visit those thoughts on her if he can help it]

[winces]

No...?

[ she seems pretty doubtful. ]

You don't have to censor yourself on my account. I... I know I don't look very strong, but I'm working to be better about it.

[ex_adept136]

[He takes pause to consider that]

...Olivia, I don't consider you weak at all.

[Having said that, he supposes he should explain himself]

It's more that, for most people, the topic isn't a pleasant one.

[winces]

It... might not be. [ a lot of things were unpleasant for olivia. and she is aware it is mostly due to her own delicate sensibilities.

however— ]

But this is your reality, isn't it? You don't have to hold back on that, just because it isn't mine. [ she offers a slight smile. ] I wouldn't be much of a friend if I kept you from being true to yourself.

[ex_adept136]

[It's an incredibly kind thought, and he can't help but be struck by that. Olivia strikes him as being so considerate of others, something one with his background wouldn't take for granted.

There's clear hesitation in his expression as he flounders for the appropriate reply to this, occupying a span of several moments]

...Thank you, Olivia.

[He's touched by that consideration]

[winces]

[ it doesn't occur to her that it could be anything more than simple decency, and so she merely smiles in return. ]

You're very welcome, Haise. I know you'd do the same for me.

[ex_adept136]

Anytime I may, I would be glad to.

[Being shown that kindness... Of course he'd want to repay it, any way he can]