voice, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

So we got a buncha old fashioned guys who are used to swinging around swords all the time and stuff, right? It seems like it, I can't go 20 feet without tripping over someone that's never seen a minipad before. God, would it kill that rift stuff to start taking more people from the modern era?

Anyway, point is I need one of you guys — or, hell, a buncha you guys — to start teaching. I've got some students in mind, foremost being me, because the training room here doesn't cut it if you've never even seen a fucking sword before. And if anyone else sucks at medieval stuff too lemme know, we'll make it a whole party.

Achilles and Koltira, you guys are my top medieval guys that know what you're doing, don't you fucking ignore this.

[ a beat ]

Also, I've got this little super strength issue where I might break any weapons I try and use, so... there's that, too. Still working on that obstacle. Any ideas, lemme know.


[ ooc: here's a planning post for teaching stuff!! ]

Comments

voice

[heavyhitter]

Eh, I bet I'd break the smashing part off.

By the way, you're included in this.

[evantuality]

Right, right, and I believe for exactly zero minutes that ALASTAIR couldn't make a weapon with a haft that could do you for. Are you sure you're not just looking for an excuse to gaze at sweaty musclemen with big weapons?

Included in what? Can you see me holding a sword? Really?

[heavyhitter]

Maybe I'm multitasking. Anyway, there's no promises I won't lose my strength again, so I wanna be good at whatever I pick up. And hammers look dumb as hell.

And, no, not really, because swords are super fucking archaic and I can barely believe anyone uses them. But you're pretty fucking useless, so we're gonna fix that one way or another. Maybe not with a sword.

[evantuality]

Your vote of confidence just warms my useless little heart. You're going to make me blush and titter.

...honestly, though. I've been thinking about trying to train the, uh. You know, the whole fire thing. I figure I probably have a better shot at using that offensively than, you know, the strictly physical arts.

[heavyhitter]

Sure. So what happens when powers go out again?

[evantuality]

....I'll go back to being more or less dead weight, I guess. Unless we, you know, get sent somewhere with computers for once.

Look, the last time I tried to fight something physically I -- well, I mean, you were there. Wouldn't it take years to get even basic competency? You know what they say about a little bit of knowledge being more dangerous than a lot of ignorance.

[heavyhitter]

Come on, that wasn't fighting, that was us throwing a shitty little imp around like dumbasses. Freak accident. And I bet if you had training, even a little, you'd be better for it next time.

[evantuality]

Ramir, that was literally the closest to fighting I've ever done, I mean seriously, I'm a computer sciences major. My sister is scarier than I am.

I have very little interest in making an ass of myself for an audience.

[heavyhitter]

So private lessons. Come on, it's fucking stupid not to prepare yourself just because you've never done it before and you don't wanna look dumb. You'll look way more dumb when next time something takes a chunk out of your brain, not just your eye, trust me.

[evantuality]

Ugh.

[She's right and he doesn't want to admit it. Learning to fight sounds terrifying.]

If I agree to this you cannot laugh at me, or I'll, I don't even fucking know. I'll leave frog eggs in your shoes.

[heavyhitter]

That sounds like a euphemism. If it is, I think I'm into it. But, either way, no laughing. Promise.

[evantuality]

Well it wasn't before, but it might be now.

Ugh. When are these ridiculous lessons going to be happening?

[heavyhitter]

I dunno, soon. Tomorrow? Day after, if we get lazy? Why, got an important date to keep?

[evantuality]

Ironically, yes, with a very shiny man and a small girl.

I'm going to get my goddamn eye back tomorrow, finally. I'll be down for the count for... hell, I'm not even sure for how long. Laedo said maybe several days.

[heavyhitter]

Oh shit, really? Nice! What's the several days for, eye growth? You can't do that up and about?

[evantuality]

I think it's like... for afterwards?

I don't know what kind of optometrists you have in the future, but do you still have that thing where they put drops in your eyes to dilate them, and then for the rest of the afternoon you have to wear sunglasses and stumble around and squint at anything brighter than a candle? I get the sense that it'll be something like that, but, you know... more.

I think I'm gonna be staying in my room a lot. I'm supposed to wear the patch on and off for the first couple of days it's back.

[heavyhitter]

[ okay, that gets a laugh ]

Sounds fucking archaic. Anyway, whatever, I'll bring you stuff. Magazines and ice cream, or something.

[evantuality]

Oh, you will be my hero. Snatch me from a fate worse than death.

Apparently for the first day, reading small text is liable to give me the mother of all headaches. I'm going to be bored out of my little mind. Come, distract me, it will get you so many brownie points.

[heavyhitter]

Hell yeah, I'm on it. Maybe without magazines. Then again — wait, you didn't have minipads yet, did you?

[evantuality]

Not, like, under that name. We've got tablets and phones and like... six million devices in the size range in between. And I think someone's recently put out a flexible screen, so. I mean, you are talking about -- [he gestures, making a little square with his hands --] little portable computing devices, right?

[heavyhitter]

Yeah, basically. Minipad's pretty much anything you want. Except there's no fucking network here outside of this bullshit jewelry stuff, so all the stuff I got downloaded on mine is all the stuff I got. It sucks.

But I've got some mindless reading material, text as big as you want it and screen as dim as you can read it.

[evantuality]

How mindless are we talking, here? Trashy romance novel or sci-fi pulp fiction?

[heavyhitter]

You think I wouldn't have either of those? Take your fuckin' pick.

Anyway, I'll let you dig through it when I stop by, sound good?

[evantuality]

Oh, but romance novels lose something when they don't have pages and don't automatically flop open to the first sex scene.

I suppose I'll manage with hacky sci-fi. Or maybe if you have some Miss Marple. Yeah, that sounds good; apparently this thing will take place tomorrow in the a.m. sometime. Maybe don't come round till dinnertime in case I'm a total embarrassing mess at first.

[heavyhitter]

Zero Miss Marple [ what the fuck is that ] and don't worry, you can't embarrass yourself much more to me than you have already.

Anyway, see you soon.