voice, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

So we got a buncha old fashioned guys who are used to swinging around swords all the time and stuff, right? It seems like it, I can't go 20 feet without tripping over someone that's never seen a minipad before. God, would it kill that rift stuff to start taking more people from the modern era?

Anyway, point is I need one of you guys — or, hell, a buncha you guys — to start teaching. I've got some students in mind, foremost being me, because the training room here doesn't cut it if you've never even seen a fucking sword before. And if anyone else sucks at medieval stuff too lemme know, we'll make it a whole party.

Achilles and Koltira, you guys are my top medieval guys that know what you're doing, don't you fucking ignore this.

[ a beat ]

Also, I've got this little super strength issue where I might break any weapons I try and use, so... there's that, too. Still working on that obstacle. Any ideas, lemme know.


[ ooc: here's a planning post for teaching stuff!! ]

Comments

[sadsack]

well isnt that nice for you

alastairs an organization thats figured out world and time travel, youd think theyd be able to build you a weapon you cant break

[heavyhitter]

Oh. Shit, that's true. I'll ask real nice and get like a... magic whatever, that's gotta be out there somewhere, right?

[sadsack]

yeah i dunno. maybe like a... really big hammer or something

or something more interesting than that

[heavyhitter]

Why the fuck is everyone suggesting hammers? You're killing me, collectively. I'm not using a stupid hammer.

[sadsack]

hey, look. it goes hand in hand with the super strength

you dont like hammers you dont like guns what DO you like

[heavyhitter]

Brass knuckles and switchblades. And guess what doesn't work out too good for me anymore.

[sadsack]

do you break the switches on the switchblades


do you press the buttons too hard

[heavyhitter]

Okay, no, fuck off, I'm not that bad. But I do a lot more damage with a fist.

[1/2]

[sadsack]

what if you got a bunch of switchblades and just held them in between your fingers and then punched someone

[2/2]

[sadsack]

don't actually do this

[heavyhitter]

[ a pause... ]

Hey, quick question, totally unrelated to anything — do you have any switchblades?

[sadsack]

NO

[heavyhitter]

See, that was too quick, I don't really believe you.

[sadsack]

if i had any switchblades i would melt them all down into a really small hammer

[heavyhitter]

Holy shit, what'd I ever do to you?

[sadsack]

dont be like that. its for your own good. besides i doubt that a fistful of switchblades is really the most effective way to fight

[heavyhitter]

But think of how cool I'd look!

[sadsack]

ok look we can definitely think of cooler weapons than "four switchblades in a fist" like








fuck it giant hammers ARE cool whats the problem with them

[heavyhitter]

A sword looks like ten times cooler! I know I don't need to explain this shit to you, just think about it for two seconds. It's common sense.

[sadsack]

ugh swords are so normal though. so expected. boring. come on. that's got to be true of even wherever you come from

[heavyhitter]

Okay fine, check it out: a modern sword, with an energy blade and everything, no old fashioned crap. That's better, right?