futurology | VIDEO. UN: LOKI

VIDEO. UN: LOKI

[ the sound of the wind storm hollows dully against the cave walls. Loki's squidge, Bacon, can half be seen crawling in the confines of his tacky green jacket and over his knee from where he sits, sometimes ducking and squeaking when a particularly large gust hits. to keep it from screaming, Loki offers his fingers absently, which the little squidge pulls on with its pudgy arms before ducking low again. ]

Hello there, it seems like we'll be waiting this out for some time considering the weather-type circumstances. While we're all rotting away, etcetera etcetera, I thought we could amuse ourselves with a game. A little bit of team bonding funtimes, so to say. [ he twists a dark nailed hand in the air, gesturing. ]

Soo—oo ... it's called Two Truths and a Lie. How do you play? Glad you asked, it's simple! Give two true statements about yourself and add a lie to the mix, shake it up then toss it out there and see if your team members know you well enough to spot the lie.

Usually this is done with copious amounts of alcohol, but we're lacking at the moment. [ pause. ] But—ah—you could always enjoy the satisfaction of being right. It's not like we're doing much else.

NOTE | Feel free to threadjack if that's your thing!! :****

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Okay, but it worked, right? That totally sounds like the story of an interesting guy.

No! [ what the fuck dude ] It sounded ridiculous!

So you're telling me that, if that story were true, you wouldn't be interested in hearing it. That is so a lie. There's so much opportunity for a rich backstory! Like, maybe the bunnies got orphaned because of an evil poacher who killed their mom.

That story would never be true. You could have lost your arm saving something in a hurricane, but a herd of baby rabbits is too much. Or you could lose your arm saving rabbits, but the hurricane puts it over the top. It has to be one or the other.

Oh, my god, no, that's what makes it sound true! Then they're like, "It's so over-the-top, nobody would lie like this." I don't know where you went to lying school, but trust me, this is a good strategy.

I think the fact that I knew all of them were lies proves that your logic didn't go very far.

Wow, okay! Go ahead, then, school me. I bet I pick out your lie immediately.

I bet you don't. [ omg. children. ]

I'm the pickiest eater you'll ever meet. I don't know how to swim. And if one of your arms really were fake, I bet I'd be able to do maintenance on it, because there's very little I can't fix.

[ That last one sounds real? If she's going for the lie not being overly-detailed, especially. The other two, though, those are both incredibly boring, why would anyone lie about either of those things!! ]

Uhhh. The swimming one.

Wrong.

[ Defiant and a little stubborn. ]

See? I told you.

Well, okay, but that's because those were just boring, everyday lies, everyone can tell those. If you were trying to tell an interesting lie, I'd have been able to tell.

Which one's the lie, then? Because one of them is sort of relevant to my interests, actually.

I'm not a picky eater at all. I've never eaten something I didn't like. [ Starving orphan problems ? ??? ] And I doubt elaborating would have made it any easier on you at all.

Okay, no, it definitely would have, but we're done with that now, so I guess we'll never know. [ And since he won't do another round, he technically lose. The only way to win is not to play, or whatever. ] But the thing, about the arm. [ He holds his robot arm up. ] You'd be able to fix it? Like, if something went wrong?

... [ ... squint. ] You really did lose your arm. That part was true? [ she composes herself quickly because let's be honest it's not the first time she's seen a robot arm. she nods quickly. ] Yeah. Is it working alright now? Because it'd be best if I could have a look inside first while it was functioning, really, that way when something does happen, I've seen what it's supposed to look like.

Oh, yeah, that part was true. [ 'Lose', 'voluntarily got rid of', same thing. He skips over it, since everyone gets all up in arms about electing to chop off his own arm for some reason. ] And it sure is working right. I mean, I think it is? It got a little waterlogged in Nalawi, but I got it fixed up. [ He moves it around a little bit, then gives a thumbs up with it. ] —You know your way around advanced tech, right? Just making sure.

I've gotten a ship that wouldn't budge to be able to leave the planet in a month. [ It seems like the best example to offer, even if the circumstances still sting slightly. She should have seen it coming, she reminds herself; all they wanted to do was leave the planet, and all she wanted to do was stay. ] I'm better with engines than droids and cybernetics, but I should be able to figure it out. I'm a good mechanic.

That... is impressive, not gonna lie. So, what's the going rate, how much would some basic repairs cost me? You know, water damage, busted up parts, that sort of thing.

[ She opens her mouth to answer an amount in ... portions. Then stops. Right. Food is not a currency here. In fact, she's not sure what is, because ALASTAIR has never left her wanting for anything thus far. She struggles for an answer. ]

That depends on the extent of the damage and what you have to trade.

The extent of the damage is... probably going to be a lot at some point, I feel like that's likely. [ With his luck. And all these fucking weather conditions. He pauses, then; he doesn't have a whole lot to trade, actually. ] I'mmmm just gonna go out on a limb here and assume you aren't into hallucinogenic plants.

Not really, no. [ wait. she squints. ] You asked about cost without having anything to pay, didn't you?

I mean.

[ muffled kill bill sirens in the background ]

I don't have anything physical to pay with, per se, but. That's right now. But! I'll probably find some valuable stuff, plus I can do all kinds of awesome skills, I could pay with those. Don't worry about it.

[ she sighs, but mostly at herself because she knows she would do it out of the goodness of her heart. dammit. ]

Well, if it comes to that before you find anything, we'll just say you owe me one. How's that?

Yeah! Yes, okay, that sounds good. [ Mostly because it doesn't require actually paying BUT whatever. ] Next time I see you, I'll show you the goods. ...My arm, my arm is the goods, sorry, that came out weird.

Just your arm. [ This is how unsolicited snapchats happen isn't it. She's going to draw herself a clear line of no thank you. ]

Oh, my god, yes, just my arm, I am not going to flash you. I promise. ...Please still do this for free.

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