video; un: deathweaver

[respired]

[ Koltira's back to his usual self once again--his hair pale as ice, his eyes burning with lichfire. His skin sallow, tinted with hypothermia, and shot through with spiderweb cracks. He wears the black ALASTAIR uniform as he sits on the edge of his bed, twisting a new ring around one gloved finger.

Beside him, his lynx cub rolls around sleepily.

His voice is still deceptively lilting, but the ethereal echo, the underscore of a guttural scratch, haunts him. ]

I must ask for a favor, should you have the capacity to grant it.

[ He glances back at the lynx cub. ]

The dead are not meant to care for the living. If one of you would take responsibility for this creature, I'd consider myself in your debt.

[ A pause. He frowns slightly as he goes on. ]

Recently, some of you met me as I once was. Understand something now. That man is gone. He died nearly twenty years ago, and nothing--nothing--of him remains in me. His house is ash, and cannot be recovered.

[ Not entirely true, though Koltira maintains otherwise.

Another beat, longer this time, as if he's unsure whether to keep talking. But, eventually: ]

Many of you recognized me, yet you did not ruin the past with visions of the future. For this ... I thank you.

[ And that's all. ]

Comments

[respired]

[ Koltira is not a patient man on his best days, and right now he's just a ring twist and a hair's breadth away from actual hysteria, so her response makes him just snap. ]

Enough, Sieglinde. You think I do not take you seriously? Why, then, would I refer to your expertise? Your knowledge? This goes uncontested by everyone. You have students, or so I have seen. Do not presume that I--and the rest of us--do not see your worth.

But you are in your twelfth season. The long ribbon of experience is unfurling for you. When I speak of adult life, I mean the life that humans draw up for themselves. That you have drawn up for yourself. Motherhood. Marriage. The like. Telling you to let such things come as they will does not mean I disrespect what you are now!

[ He scowls. ]

But if you fail to understand that, so be it. It will be perfectly in line with my experience, in any case.

[grunehexe]

[She has to bite her tongue, because no- not everyone believes that at all. If they did, she wouldn't be this sensitive about it, wouldn't be so defensive. She had some with brains who could apparently "see past" her age, but few who just accepted it from the beginning, and even then... but if she argues that point, it will just be fuel to the fire, look petty and "childish" even though it's true.]

Motherhood and- I do not need either of them! Once I have an heir, the Green Witch's duty will be complete and I may unbind myself from- from whatever ribbon it is that humans draw for themselves, or whatever else can be expected! It will be done as soon as I can, and be done with, not just happen whenever it is deemed proper-

Do not think it is only I who does not understand.

[respired]

[ Ah. Something of the truth. ]

... I see.

You worry because you are bound.

[ By law? By tradition? He doesn't understand the concept of 'Green Witch' fully. But it seems stifling, regardless. ]

[grunehexe]

[... Ah.]

Is that not also why you do?

[He's just bound by something else. Not duty, but death.]

[respired]

I worry because I am cursed, and because its demands cannot be ignored.

[ He grits his teeth, pain spiking in his nerves. ]

Because I do ignore them. And for this, all will suffer.

[grunehexe]

And the demands?

[She isn't about to not ask. Bound by duty, bound by curses... Shackles are shackles no matter their form.]

[respired]

Pain unto others. If I do not inflict agony, I am wracked with agony myself.

[ He grits his teeth. ]

Until I lose my mind to it.

[grunehexe]

... I assume plants do not count?

[Its not a joke, however flippant the words could be taken. She's checking. The enemies of ALASTAIR were... A "safe" option to unleash ones rage upon, but. With their last mission being where it had...]

[respired]

A plant cannot beg for mercy.

[ He's sure she means well. But the conditions are pretty specific. The target has to suffer. ]

[grunehexe]

I thought not.

[But here she's just been letting herself ask whatever she wanted, when-]

Is this a conversation best held privately?

[respired]

[ He shakes his head. ]

No. I do not mind it.

[ Better that people see, to his mind. See and stay away. ]

[grunehexe]

[Well, if he doesn't mind...]

How aware are you of your limits?

[respired]

Acutely.

[grunehexe]

And this... Hunger, it is magical in nature? Or biological?

[respired]

Something of both, I expect. It is a curse woven into the foundation of my being.

[grunehexe]

Is it something you would allow to be studied?

[respired]

I cannot see how you would go about doing so.

[grunehexe]

I would need to refine things as I went along and understood it better, but... at first, I would think... blood samples as your "hunger" increases for comparison, magical signature scans...

[Working on Graham's heart and Haise's ghoul diet... she's already in the Zone.]

[respired]

[ He shrugs. ]

If you have the time.

[grunehexe]

I will make time.

[respired]

[ He doesn't think anything will come of it. But if she wants to put her mind to the problem, he's not going to stop her. ]

As you wish.