[Wow. Well, if nothing else, she knows how to pony up. It's a little rambling, but he did ask for it. And the relative warm of the tent isn't a bad place to kick back and listen. The more rambling and ridiculous it gets, the less he manages to be surprised by it.]

That's too bad. Sounds like they could have used a more memorable sendoff. [Y'know, because not having a van to do it in only stops dirtbags from abducting dumbasses off the road for so long. Only mostly facetiously—]

Didn't your mother ever tell you not to take candy from strangers?