text, @TARANTO, day after the saloon fire

[heavyhitter]

hey guys guess what: blankets!!! me and TF to the fucking rescue, we rustled up like 40 of these bad boys
super cozy, some nice patterns. one of them has a robot wolf on it
it was also all entirely legal

they're ALMOST free, all you gotta do is tell me a story then come get one (i'm by those spiky ass fat plants that bleed if you knock them over)

also since i have 40 and there's more than 40 of us, i guess also pick someone to get cozy with

Comments

text; un: cardmaster

[fateality]

And what exactly is my payment out of all of this?
Maybe you should tell me a story.

[heavyhitter]

your payment is the warm glow of a good deed well done

audio; un:unknownrealms

[headlining]

Oh? A story? That's it? Seems like a cheap method of payment. Is there any catch as to what kind of story we can tell?

[heavyhitter]

yeah make sure it's not a shitty one

text; un: eliasainsworth

[thornydisposition]

[Contrary to what some people might believe, Elias does get chilly. And he's been having a hard time haggling with the locals, having absolutely nothing to barter with, so...]

What kind of stories do you like?

[heavyhitter]

bloody action/adventure with lots of explosions
got any that fit the bill?

text; un: harmonia

[digiorno]

Legal.

What kind of story?

[heavyhitter]

so super legal no one would ever doubt the authenticity of them

anyway w/e any story, as long as it's good
shitty stories get a shitty blanket

text; un: hound

[ofobedience]

A robot wolf.

[heavyhitter]

yeah
he's pink

audio | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[competing]

Buddy are you in luck! I just so happen to be ace at storytime.

[ ask all his adoring fans. all... one of them. maybe. ]

[heavyhitter]

oh shit look out we got a professional on our hands
alright gimme your best shot

text; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

Not totally convinced on the legality, but sure, why not.

Any preference on story? 'not a shitty one' doesn't count.

[heavyhitter]

are you calling me a liar, buddy

'not a shitty one' is a perfectly valid criteria, only someone who tells shitty stories would think otherwise

audio; un: sharpshooter

[endeudado]

Alright, hold onto one of those blankets for me, cause I have plenty of stories.

[ Illegally obtained blankets? Sign him up. ]

Do you want a long one or a short one? Like, how much violence are you good with?

[heavyhitter]

long one, longer the better, hopefully with some decapitation involved

audio; un: deathweaver

[respired]

I didn't realize you two were so well-acquainted. Nicely done, in any case.

[ Legality aside. ]

[heavyhitter]

oh, yeah, we're besties [ apparently ]
productive besties looking out for audentes' well being

TEXT, UN: BATSHIT

[slushfund]

Easy enough.
Count me in for a free blanket, it's cold as fuck.

[heavyhitter]

uh huh
earn it, whatcha got

( video )

[heelies]

[Achilles is on this like grapes which dangle from a vine, or whatever appropriately Homeric simile best works here. Thus shall Ramir see in the flickering images cast by the jewelry the visage of her favorite archaic warrior.]

If it is a story you so desire, daughter of Jolanda, then gladly shall I deliver. Now tell me - do you wish to hear the tale of a worthy hero, whose deeds have burnished his name to a bright gleam? Or do you wish instead for a tale of lovers, or a tale of the gods who from atop Mount Olympus cast their eyes over men?

[heavyhitter]

oh shit what a choice
how saucy is the lovers one?

video; un: MANDROID

[friendlykillingmachine]

Once upon a time, two of my very best friends got really, really smashed!

[He's just gonna get right into it, yep.]

And they decided it would be a fun idea to jump off a roof and into my arms.

[heavyhitter]

hang on what the fuck rocky you don't even need a blanket

text, un: RHY5-W1NZ

[dbag]

Why stories? Why don't you just, like... give them to us out of the goodness of your heart or whatever people do.

[heavyhitter]

because i didn't come with very much of that, and there's no internet connection here

un: galeas

[fivenareff]

For the sake of argument: what if it is a shit story? Do you just refuse to give a blanket away?

[heavyhitter]

hell no i'm not that heartless
you just get the cat piss blanket

TEXT. UN: LOKI

[selfimage]

And what are you going to do with all those stories?

[heavyhitter]

collect em publish em and make millions

audio | UN: ANIKI

[dokyuu]

Aw, c'mon, legal's the boring way.

[Not that he believes it for a second.]

You writing a book or somethin'?

[heavyhitter]

whoa look out we got a criminal over here

and yeah definitely i'm going to steal all these ideas for it

TEXT | un: huntsman

[dishearten]

almost entirely legal?

( because Ramir can't expect her bowcop buddy not to chime in on this. )

[heavyhitter]

um i think i said all entirely legal and i stand by it

text; un: fiona

[cachemoney]

Sexy story or a badass story? Or both??

[heavyhitter]

holy shit who WOULDN'T say both

TEXT | un: p.parker

[webdesigned]

not to be a doubtful debbie but where did you even find 40 blankets

( he can tell it wasn't legal. he just needs to hear it wasn't from blind orphan children or something equally horrible. )

[heavyhitter]

the quilter
weird how that works huh

text; un: diclonius

[scarredhorns]

Plants can bleed?

[She's been told that plants are alive, but that sounds rather extreme.]

[heavyhitter]

these ones can
they're really talented

text; un: saitama

[heroforhobby]

What kind of story...?

[heavyhitter]

oh my god you guys are killing me
well i was saying any kind of story but here's a better answer: any story better than what rocky and hiruma gave me

text, @red.

[gutpunching]

Very Robin Hood of you.

[Rob from the blanket-rich, give to the blanket-poor, et cetera. Someone's been keeping busy in the midst of all the infodumps.]

Gonna pick up archery, next?

[heavyhitter]

hell no, graham tried and it didn't go well for the bow

voice; un: mccree

[flashbanging]

Yarn for yarn, eh? I'll bite. You set down somewhere comfortable?

[heavyhitter]

i'm on a pile of blankets it's like literally impossible to be uncomfortable here
hit me

text; un: G.SLQHV

[twinpeak]

You're not going to be hard to please about the kind of stories you'll accept, are you?

[heavyhitter]

aw i'm not that hard to please
just don't do this or this and you're golden
honestly it'd be hard to fuck up more than those ones

[ just.. magic hotlinks those.... somehow, don't worry about it ]

@shirogane

[racking]

What're my odds looking like at this point? You've got a lot going on so far.

omg.......... are you my only beautiful soul that does @ instead of un: ;_;

[heavyhitter]

nah you're fine
i mean unless you wanted the robot wolf or the kittens or the disco blanket
if you had your heart set on those ones you're less fine