[Video | UN: METTATON]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[The camera lowers in on the scene: two chairs are in the courtyard, where two figures are seated. A robot and a fish-troll sit and smile, holding coffee mugs. Words project overhead, reading GOOD MORNING, AUDENTES! before fading out. Cheery music plays.]

Good morning, beauties and gentlebeauties! You know, I've been pondering... There's been many attempts to make this team grow more cohesive - telling one another our personal stories, team-building exercises, holding hands around the campfire and singing songs... While those are ALL well and good, I've found that the best way to properly appreciate a person is more simple than that.

"Why, Mettaton," I hear you ask! "Whatever can you be talking about?!"

You laugh with them!! And thus comes our newest and most spectacular program to date: GOOD MORNING, AUDENTES! [CONFETTI!] After every mission, I, your wonderful host, will be bringing along a new, special guest to give advice to YOUR pressing questions! Who should you be dating? What happens when you kill a ghost? What if there was beer on the sun? You send in the questions, we give you the answers. Think of it as an advice column with a rotating guest.

This week's guest is none other than our very own troll royalty: Feferi Peixes! [Applause.midi] So get those questions started, beauties, and remember: if you think you can do better? There's only one way to find out. [Wink.] Ready? IIIIT'S SHOWTIME!!

[[Here is how this works!! Send in questions here for advice. It's assumed it's going to Mettaton's inbox, so he'll keep every asker a secret unless they say they want to be revealed. Then him and his guest will discuss the question and give their (most likely silly) advice for audience enjoyment and better understanding of said guest! Feel free to discuss said questions/advice below as well!]]

Comments

➤ question inbox; un: harmonia

[digiorno]

As she's royalty, I feel that it's vital Signorina Peixes weigh in on the best kind of crown.

[this is the most important question ever asked ok]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Oho, crowns is it? I don't know about you, Fefi, but there is a type I prefer more than any other.

[He stares dead at the camera.]

Ones I've stolen.

[fintastic]

No stealing! Bad habits like that just make you look ugly!

[ That's a lie, even for her, but she has to make her point somehow. ]

I think the best kind is one that's subtle! If it is too big and flashy then it just takes away from your beautiful face, and then no one will make eye contact with you either! Eye contact is very important.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Pft.]

I don't want them to look me in the eye. If you aren't born wearing one, you only get a crown by proving you want it more than anyone else. I demand that they notice my crown.

[fintastic]

A crown doesn't mean anything except that you know how to put a piece of metal on your head.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Incorrect, Fefi-dear.

It means other people know how to put a piece of metal on my head. It's a vital difference.

[digiorno]

Follow-up question: does this mean that there are some crowns that royalty would never wear? Tacky crowns, as it were.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

No crown is tacky when you look this good.

[fintastic]

No, that's not really how it works, but okay!

[ She has many opinions on the intimidation tactic, but that is neither here nor there. They were asked about style! ]

Still, subtle is way better! Like my tiara, but it could be any style. Also, you have to figure it's going to be on your head for a long time, so it had best be comfortable. You might get a headache if it's too heavy!

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Heeheee.]

You know, I do have to ask. Did you choose that tiara yourself?

[fintastic]

It's an heirloom, so no, not really? But I did choose to wear it! Because I like it.

question inbox; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

[no time like the present to sate his curiosity......]

Tell us about your world. What's it like where you're from?

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Mettaton reads off the question with a smirk before leaning back, sighing wistfully.] Oh darling, you'll only see a more stunning place when you die. It's crowded, dark, and my face is on everything.

[Laughtrack.]

I'm certain this one was for you, Fefi. Why don't you tell us a little 'bout your kingdom, eh?

[fintastic]

About Alternia? Well, uh. Okay!

[ It's been so long but this is still kind of tough. ]

Well, I only got to see a part of it. I lived in the ocean, and didn't get to go on land very much, but... the ocean was huge! And had so many beautiful corals and neat fish! And it's where all my friends were from, so... there's that!

[ She misses it, but sometimes it's hard to find nice things to say about it. ]

[pummelling]

[He doesn't mind being not-anonymous, so here he is, chiming in with a new question.]

Huh. I assumed all of you were aquatic. [amphibious? he doesnt know, is this troll racist.....]

Humans are a whole lot less varied biologically than that. You're all the same species, right?

[fintastic]

No, actually, very few of us are! Most trolls live on land. But yes, we are all considered trolls, all the same.

[pummelling]

What makes you so different from the land ones?

...Besides fins.

[fintastic]

Fins, gills, organs, blood color...

[ She has to think for a moment, then nods. ]

Yeah I think that's mostly it.

[pummelling]

[as someone who has read part of homestuck i want to publicly, oocly shame myself for the can of worms that i'm going to open with this tag. curse jin's inquisitive soul]

Did you say blood color? What, are some of you coldblooded or something?

[how is that possible when they're the same species... he's not a science person, sure, but... ]

i tried to make it as painless as possible...

[fintastic]

Oh, well, yes but that's not what I meant! We call it the hemospectrum! Warm blooded trolls are more common, and have red and orange blood, then it goes all the way up to us coldblooded seadwellers, with purple and fuchsia!

Here, I drew you a picture! This is the actual color of our blood, by-the-way! I will show you sometime if you want.

[ Attached: hemospectrum.png ]

you explained trolls so user-friendly A+++

[pummelling]

[He's seen species with green or blue blood, but...not variation within a species.]

Huh.

[That's...]

Neat.

...I'll, uh, take your word for it. No need to bust open a vein or anything.

thank u i try 38)

[fintastic]

Heheh, alright then! I guess it is pretty neat if you're not used to it.

[ That is to say nothing of how her predecessor abused it, but listen. She doesn't need to go there. ]

question inbox; un: ASCIIanything

[catphishing]

Can you kill a ghost?

[LOOK. It's an important question.]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Short answer is no. Long answer is... [He rocks his hand from side to side and lets out a non-committal:] NnnnnNNNnnneeeeeeh??

BUT!! This does leave us open to a wonderful question!!

[He looks toward Feferi, eyes alight.]

If a ghost is killed, do you think it becomes less powerful? Or MORE powerful?

I did not get the notif for this one :(

[fintastic]

I guess that would depend on... how you killed it?

[ She doesn't like this question!! ]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

You mean like if they were "busted"?

[fintastic]

I don't know what you mean by that... but even death has rules.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA.]

Have fun with it, darling. Forget the rules.

[fintastic]

I don't... think...

[ Oh my cod. Yes, she did think that fish pun, and yes, she did it partly out of spite!! ]

I guess, if you say so!