audio; un: fiona

[cachemoney]

[The sound of the jungle can be heard in the background: singing birds and buzzing insects, obviously, but also gently flowing water. Fiona has found a small waterfall which seems to be the best and safest source of water, as far as she's concerned.]

So. Unless some of us have found a grocery store hidden behind some of this jungley stuff, we're going to be running low on food. Very soon. Fruit's fine, but it'll only get you so far -- we'll need protein if we want to survive this.

Luckily, you have a survivalist on your team!

I'm going to go ahead and assume most of you haven't had bushmeat before, and while eating giant monster rats, uh, admittedly does not sound super appetizing, it's all we have right now. Unless someone wants to try the giant monster lizards. With poison for blood.

Anyway. I'm happy to do the butchering and cooking if you're squeamish. Call it a fleeting bout of altruism.

Comments

audio | un: RHY5-W1NZ

[dbag]

Why do you want to do this. Why are you offering. Why.

[cachemoney]

Because I'm a nice person. And I know sooome people... not saying who... won't be able to do it themselves.

[dbag]

[ """nice person""" ]

I don't know what you're talking about.









...I mean, I was hoping you could do mine for me, though.

[cachemoney]

Well, because you asked. Sure.

You'll have to find someone to kill it for you.

[dbag]

Oh. Is that not... included in your services, or. 'Cause I'll pay an extra fee. I'll never talk about activity quotas or forecasting models ever again.

[cachemoney]

I'm not exactly in a great position to go monster hunting right now.

[The broken arm makes holding her shotgun difficult!! Obviously she can still butcher animals with just one hand though? #Pandora.]

I cannnn loan you my gun.

audio; un:hound

[ofobedience]

I can do the killing if you're only offering the preparation. Not for myself, of course, but it does seem like a number of people here wouldn't make it through without a little assistance.

[He's not exactly known for altruism himself, but if he's going to accept that this is his team now, then at the very least he ought to try and help.]

[cachemoney]

Not for yourself? Don't tell me you did find a hidden grocery store.

[ofobedience]

Alas, no such luck. Hahah. And technically I don't need to eat in order to survive, so the lack of anything palatable hasn't really been an issue for me. The joys of being an abomination, I suppose.

[cachemoney]

You don't need to eat -- that sounds fake. How do you... you know, burn energy?

[ofobedience]

No doubt it does. And yet, here I am. Living proof, so to speak. And really, I'm not the one to ask. I'm the science project, not the scientist.

audio; un: redlion

[secondnature]

See, I told you that Rhys wouldn't do anything to help.

[This is completely unimportant and unrelated to this post, Keith.]

[dbag]

Oh, my god, why are you so obsessed with me.

[secondnature]

... What?

[How is this obsession? There's context. Which he doesn't provide. At all.]

[dbag]

[ ]

...Right, I forgot, to be obsessed with someone you need to have emotions. Beep boop blorp, I am Keith the robot boy.

My point is— I'm helping! I help all the time! You just... haven't seen it.

1/2

[secondnature]

I have emotions all the time! Especially around you! Because you're annoying!

[secondnature]

[Maybe not the thing to argue with? Maybe not.

He huffs after a moment and adds:]

We've been on this team together for a long time. How wouldn't I have seen it by now?

[cachemoney]

He is... doing his best.

[secondnature]

How is accusing me of being obsessed with him doing his best?

[cachemoney]

That's unrelated to doing his best. He would have done that anyway.

[secondnature]

I think making accusations like that is his best.

audio; un: cardmaster

[fateality]

Operator. Fiona. The most beautiful woman I know.

I would love some bushmeat from your talented hands, please.

[cachemoney]

Oh, my god, T-Fay. Obviously you're first on the list. [The flattery is unnecessary, but she likes it so she's not going to tell him to stop.]

How are you with hunting? I'm a little, uh... incapacitated at the moment.

[fateality]

You're a goddess among us regular folk. [he's so hungry he's gonna go ALL THE WAY]

Uh. Well, my aim's good, but can't say I ever hunted with cards.

[cachemoney]

[whoa dang, hope he has protection]

Iiii have a shotgun you could borrow? If your aim is good with more than cards.