✘ text | un: hound ✘

[ofobedience]

[Something like this-- it's really not his style. He's more accustomed to keeping his thoughts to himself, to keeping his own council. But bit by incremental bit, things have been changing in him, a slow and gradual unfurling towards greater acceptance of their situation, towards being a part of this team. He's accepted that he'll never see his world again - something that, rightly or wrongly, he believes down to the core of himself - had believed that, despite the hollow rawness it leaves him with, he's made an uneasy kind of peace with this 'knowledge'.

Only, the recent transfers have led to a renewal of his tendency to withdraw, and he's kept to himself since learning that so many of those he'd finally come to consider something akin to friends have now departed for other teams. It stirs up all the old feelings in him, a misplaced sense of betrayal-- more than anything, his own betrayal of himself for allowing these attachments to form. Everyone leaves, in the end-- it's something he should have known.

Still, it means something, perhaps, that he eventually brings his concerns here, rather than allowing them to eat away at him indefinitely. Even if he ends up doing it in a roundabout manner.]

I have some questions, if you will.

Why forge connections with others when they're only going to end up severed? What could you possibly stand to gain from it? Isn't it preferable, ultimately, to keep oneself separate from all that and thereby avoid the messy business of emotional baggage?

Such things surely only weigh one down. Create unnecessary complications. Weaken you.

Comments

un: what; this is not the answer gio was looking for 8(

[bladefaire]

[ The question speaks to him a little bit, pulls at a chord deep down inside that he works hard to keep hidden and forgotten. The reminder of it now sets him back on edge, and leads to an answer that's perhaps a bit more vehement than it ought to be. ]

I don't. I have no time for things that weaken me.

text; un: wanda

[scarletcast]

[ She can't say she entirely disagrees. ]

What do you think is better? To have it and understand something new, only to lose it, or to never have known it at all?

text;

[skelepun]

[Well, it doesn't take a big brain to see what this was about. Or any brain, in Sans' case.]

hey, you wanna go for a walk?

text; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

[He's only spoken to Giovanni a couple of times, and to say that they'd seen eye to eye on any of those occasions would be far more generous than he imagines either of them would be willing to reach for.

Still.

It's not like him to stay silent. Sucker for the tough cases he is, and all that.]

Because holding out alone is only practical for so long.

probably not, but it's what he's got!

[ofobedience]

Well. That would be the practical response.

How long have you been here?

[He doesn't recognise the username, but that doesn't necessarily mean all that much.]

[ofobedience]

The latter would save one an awful lot of trouble.

[But that doesn't quite answer her question, does it? It would make things easier perhaps, but then his most treasured memories are from back then, of Heine and Lily before bad changed to worse, and even though those memories are tainted now by everything that came after, the thought of losing them is still one that terrifies him.

Does the same apply to the memories he has of those who've transferred out? Hard to say.]

[ofobedience]

[Are you offering to walk the dog?

He wants to say no. Sans is just one more person who will, he thinks, eventually leave. More of that emotional baggage. But then again, how long can one stay holed up alone before the cracks and fissures start to show?

Still--]

Perhaps. But I'm a little busy.

[...busy lounging about in his room, staring at the ceiling, sure.]

[ofobedience]

[Far more generous, certainly. Although perhaps, at the moment, alternate perspectives from his own is exactly what he needs.

Still--]

And why is that? It seems more practical than the alternative.

[skelepun]

[Yeah, he's more than familiar with that brand of Busy. No dice this time, pup, being lazy is his schtick. He can't have some scrappy upstart horning in on his niche.]

c'mon, it'll be a gas

[ofobedience]

[No one can say he didn't try! But look, he still has deflection up his fine-tailored sleeve.]

Aren't you going to answer the questions?

[skelepun]

you that interested in my opinion?

[ofobedience]

In this instance? Yes.

[pummelling]

For a while, yeah. You don't get hurt if there's no one around to hurt you.

[No friends to leave, or worse, reject you. No family to disappoint.]

But when you finally lose yourself, there also won't be anyone left to pull you back.

text | un: RHY5-W1NZ

[dbag]

Wow, this is like, the most cartoon villainy thing ever said.

[ofobedience]

And yet, when they all end up leaving - one way or another - there's no on left to pull you back regardless.

[ofobedience]

What eloquence. Would that I had your way with words.

not here

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[But he sees this. And really...]

[pummelling]

You'll know better for having put your faith in somebody even once, though. Trust me on that one.

Besides. It's not like there's really never going to be anybody there for you, unless you're closing yourself off completely.

[dbag]

I mean, that's also a kind of cartoon villainy thing to say.

Are you twirling your mustache right now? Laughing maniacally? Kicking puppies???

text | un: scottmccall

[banded]

If you treat every bond like it'll inevitably break, then you aren't living in the moment. People meet new people all the time. That's a part of living. You won't always remember the people you meet, but you might.

But if you're asking this, I think you know that it's too late to change.

[It might be unfair to add that last sentence, but he adds it anyway. Why beat around the bush about it?]

text | un: scottmccall

[banded]

Cartoon villains tend to talk about killing a lot of people and taking over the world because it's what they deserve.

Just ... in case you didn't know.

[Scott can't help but leap to Giovanni's defense here.]

[ofobedience]

Know better, perhaps, than to put one's faith in anyone again.

[I mean there was that one time he put his faith in a guy and it lead to he and his siblings tearing each other apart, and said guy abandoning him beneath a pile of corpses, so. Trust issues-- he has them.]

And I suppose our experiences of the world are quite different, for you to come to that conclusion.

[But he's thinking of home in this instance, of what happened down there in the Below. He isn't there now. This is different, isn't it?]

[ofobedience]

I suppose I could go in for kicking something. Only, puppies aren't quite what I'm thinking of right now, and I'm more of a gun man personally.

not here

[ofobedience]

[Silent commiseration is go.]

[ofobedience]

[Not entirely fair, perhaps, but not uncalled for either. Still, he'll continue to tiptoe around it, because that's what he does.]

Even when a thing is too late to change, it isn't too late for future preventative measures. Once bitten, and all that. One could call it a learning curve.