Connor "Harvey Milk didn't die for this" Walsh (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sadgay) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
futurology2017-09-10 12:47 pm
sadgay) wrote in futurology2017-09-10 12:47 pm
( video ) un: wtfwhocares
[When the video feed flickers on, the team will see Asher and Connor side by side, sharply dressed and poised to deliver a pitch. Around them spans the castle’s library, its shelves looming and brimming with books and its lanterns glowing in the dimness that encourages a studious sort of quiet. A quiet that is about to come to an end as Connor opens his mouth.]
This is a public service announcement from the offices of-- [He cues the other man.]
A-Milly from over the hillyyyyyy~♪
--and Connor Walsh, attorneys at law.
[*They are not real attorneys. They have not passed the bar exam in any state, country, planet, or dimension.]
Welcome to Espionage 101, or as we prefer to call it--
[They part to reveal the easel chalkboard that waits behind them, across which Asher writes with gusto:]
--How to get away with lying. Responsibly! And not like a lil’ bitch.
[Asher finds it necessary enough to add their addendum to the title in tiny parentheses.]
Now, seeing as most of you are totez clueless when it comes to this whole fake identity thing, we’d like to give you a couple of pointers to start, so you uh. Don’t blow the whole operation and risk Zymandis kickin’ our keisters, ‘cause if ya ask me? Those guys are the definition of cray cray.
[The look Connor gives him is only half as judgmental as it could be. Why does he insist on resurrecting the most ancient of lingo… Nevertheless, he continues the spiel.]
The most basic rule of lying is: keep it simple, stupid. Elaborating doesn’t make your lie more believable, it just makes it more likely that you’ll shoot yourself in the foot by saying something moronic. Remember, anything you say can and will be used against you in space court. If these guys even believe in giving a fair trial, which they probably don’t, seeing as they’re supposed to be the bad guys.
Anyway, if someone starts asking questions, give as little as possible. You don’t have to plead the fifth, because let’s be real, most of the time that just makes you seem more shady.
[The doughier of the two nods vigorously in the background, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead and casting a shadow over his face, in an effort to provide an illustrative example.]
And because we’re the nicest people ever, we’re offerin’ our services to all of our Audentes homies, free of charge.
So. You in?
This is a public service announcement from the offices of-- [He cues the other man.]
A-Milly from over the hillyyyyyy~♪
--and Connor Walsh, attorneys at law.
[*They are not real attorneys. They have not passed the bar exam in any state, country, planet, or dimension.]
Welcome to Espionage 101, or as we prefer to call it--
[They part to reveal the easel chalkboard that waits behind them, across which Asher writes with gusto:]
--How to get away with lying. Responsibly! And not like a lil’ bitch.
[Asher finds it necessary enough to add their addendum to the title in tiny parentheses.]
Now, seeing as most of you are totez clueless when it comes to this whole fake identity thing, we’d like to give you a couple of pointers to start, so you uh. Don’t blow the whole operation and risk Zymandis kickin’ our keisters, ‘cause if ya ask me? Those guys are the definition of cray cray.
[The look Connor gives him is only half as judgmental as it could be. Why does he insist on resurrecting the most ancient of lingo… Nevertheless, he continues the spiel.]
The most basic rule of lying is: keep it simple, stupid. Elaborating doesn’t make your lie more believable, it just makes it more likely that you’ll shoot yourself in the foot by saying something moronic. Remember, anything you say can and will be used against you in space court. If these guys even believe in giving a fair trial, which they probably don’t, seeing as they’re supposed to be the bad guys.
Anyway, if someone starts asking questions, give as little as possible. You don’t have to plead the fifth, because let’s be real, most of the time that just makes you seem more shady.
[The doughier of the two nods vigorously in the background, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead and casting a shadow over his face, in an effort to provide an illustrative example.]
And because we’re the nicest people ever, we’re offerin’ our services to all of our Audentes homies, free of charge.
So. You in?
no subject
you're asher, right?
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[His heart picks up just a little bit, a sign, an omen. Somehow it always seems to know when something's wrong.]
why?
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what cover story are you going with, my man?
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um
[There is a chance that word got out, that someone saw the door. It would make sense, given everything that's happened, because there is a price to be paid for every single one of his horrible little secrets.
Then again, maybe it really is nothing. He'll give the skeleton the benefit of the doubt.]
i'm just gonna pretend that i'm some trigger-happy douche who's excited to blow shit up, ig
u kno, the kind of guy who doesn't really think about who he's hurtin
[The person everyone seems to think he is.]
no subject
no subject
[That offers him a little hope. He is naive for feeling this way.]
stickin with a story that other people are likely to believe, am i right? looooolz
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no subject
[The answer is obviously yes.]
there's no way in hell i could imagine ever bein ok with zymandis' whack ass timesplosion-y BS, so
this is what i got so far, ya dig?
no subject
NOT HERE
also not here
no subject
and figuring a few things out. Proactive isn't his color.]