video; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

[The magitek's pulled back far enough to feature not one, but two members of Audentes... or, rather, one of them striving vainly to nudge his teammate out of the feed. It's the tail end of the struggle, though, and Kung Jin is fighting a losing battle. It takes half a second for Asher Millstone to shove his way into view, taking up half of the screen and speaking up before Jin can truly get a word in.

The law student looks more excited than ever when he starts speaking, and even lifts his arms above his head in a “raise the roof” sort of gesture.]

It’s time to get wiggity wiggity whack, yo!

Don't. [He nearly slaps a hand over his friend's mouth, but reconsiders, elbowing him back instead.] So, Audentes. Since we're almost all set to leave on our next assignment, it's come to our attention that not everyone here is from a world that people like Asher or I consider "modern day".

Whoa, you? Wait a minute. Last I checked, there was nothing normal about you, man. People in your world, like, rip dudes’ spines out through their mouths and crap!

[After he says this, Asher immediately turns from Jin back to the camera, and waves his hands emphatically in its general direction.]

Don’t try that.

[Jin casts a dubious glance at Asher and moves right along in spite of all the interruptions.]

Even if you look the part, you’ve still got to play the part, too. If you're looking for any advice or tips to blend in properly on-planet, we’re pretty much experts-- so let us know if you need a hand.

[The paler of the two pops up right behind him, leaning on the other’s shoulder.]

That’s right, baby! We’ll teach you how to be 90s.

Comments

text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

popcorn.gif

text; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

Ok, ok. Show's over, buddy.

[hedonistic]

hey now don't be rude, bro
i'm sure i, as a representative of the 22nd century, have a lot to learn about my ancestors from u and mr. daddy kink over there

[pummelling]

[oh my ogd]

I've told him to change it at least ten times by now I swear to you

[moneyballer]

i can't

[hedonistic]

[literally cackling irl, this is too perfect omfg]

are u kinkshaming urself dude
is that how 90s daddykink worked
~*~*the more you know*~*~

[moneyballer]

[The 90s were the era of the Daddykink. Look at all of the shows with hot dads in them. Family programming, my a-]

it was a mistake

a mistake i deeply regret

1/2

[hedonistic]

[Does everyone in Audentes take themselves this seriously? Everyone? Et tu, "wiggity wiggity whack"? Et tu?]

[hedonistic]

well, yolo, right?
i regret to inform u that spanking urself only counts as fapping tho
no double dipping allowed

[moneyballer]

[let's be real, the username "spank me daddy" would have caused a whole other set of problems tbh]

let's not talk about this here

please

1/2 again.....

[hedonistic]

[He seriously considers it for a moment. Thinks of Akane-chan, who would probably be in here, eagerly getting her training in the 90s, who would probably be disappointed in him if he pushed. But he's frustrated, too. He's frustrated at people taking everything he says at face value, at being so stiflingly serious he feels like he's back in Japan even though a contrivance of circumstance has freed him. It makes a dark part of him wonder if Sybil was right, if there's really something so wrong with him that he can't function among "regular" people.

Can that be right, though? Even Kou-chan had fun, sometimes. Sure, his was drier humor than his own personal tastes, but it wasn't like this. He hates feeling like he isn't allowed to be himself, even here, where there's no such thing as a Psycho Pass or a Hue or a Crime Coefficient.]

[hedonistic]

why?
is fapping not the 90s-appropriate term
pls educate me daddy
i promise i'll be a good boy

[moneyballer]

im p sure ppl didn't use the word "fap" in 1993

[altho... he may have 2 fact check this]

cries i actually googled this /faceinhands

[hedonistic]

what did they use then
wank?
jack off?
jerk it?
hit the spank bank?
polish the family jewels?
shake the creamer?
flog the bishop?

cum on man, help a brother out

2/2.............

[hedonistic]

oops i mean *come

text | un: Princess ( bc i can and lbr you wanted this )

[assent]

[ It takes around 20 back and forths over whether she wants to know enough to message him about this, but curiosity killed the cat and all that-- ]

Pardon me, but what does that mean?

[moneyballer]

S A VE YOURSEL F

[hedonistic]

daddykink is right, i don't think ur virgin eyes can handle it

[hedonistic]

i'm not here to kinkshame ok
i'm serious, i'm sure there's things he can teach me about the Lifestyle
there's only so many memes that can survive a century into the future after all
watching this thread will be v. educational i'm sure

[pummelling]

[oh my GOD he's an INTERNET jin has seen enough sad frogs from cassandra 'internet memes' cage let him LIVE]

there were absolutely no memes in the 1990s. the internet was BARELY a thing, so cool your cat picture jets

[hedonistic]

wait seriously
the internet's only been around for 100 years?
what the fuck

[They don't teach history in his Japan anymore ok, don't judge him...]

uuuuugh this mission just got like 5000% less cool

[#priorities]

[moneyballer]

yeah man, i don't even think dial-up's rly a thing yet

ur outta luck

[moneyballer]

there's nothing 2 see here ok? pal???

[hedonistic]

of course not, i'm sorry, daddy
are u gonna spank me?

[moneyballer]

[he refuses 2 entertain this inquiry]