text; username: SHIKI

[satsujinki]

No one really tells you how scary it is to fish in the dark. Everyone else seems used to it, but the thought of falling in is crippling.

I guess it must sound more profound in my head when I'm worrying about dying alone near a dock, doing something new. Sorry.

[The little worries that pop into your head when you stare into an abyss.]

I guess tea would be able to improve the state of things just a little.

Comments

[defenceless]

[Why is he scared of all those things? No, never mind that.]

How is fishing an unavoidable necessity?

[satsujinki]

I said 'many things'. Fishing is just one of those unavoidable necessities.

If I had better income, I'm sure I could just buy whatever I liked. Odd jobs are tough to get when it comes to me.

[Namely, even getting the job is tough. Shiki never looked suitable to work serious, laborious jobs and anyone he asked for work could tell right off the bat.]

There's the ancient axiom, 'Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day--teach a man to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime.' It's got to be common enough you'd know it, right?

[defenceless]

Of course. But are you saying you're just going to give up? [Fishing in the darkness to feed himself probably isn't "giving up", Rin.] If jobs are tough for you to get, either improve yourself or keep trying.

[satsujinki]

That's exactly why I'm doing this. It's just unfortunate that I'm learning under terrible circumstances rather than relaxing ones.

Fishing is supposed to be one of those weekend experiences you share with a friend.

[Even if Arihiko was a dumbass.]

Learning a life skill under stress isn't nearly as pleasant--especially when some weird magic spell managed to steal away sunlight.

[defenceless]

Ah, I see. Eat fish, so you can apply for better jobs, and make more money.

[She can always understand the value of money, at least. For that, even Rin might fish in the dark.]

My advice is that you'd best adapt to learning underneath stress. What, unless you're one of those kids ALASTAIR hired, or something?

And it's not certain whether it's a magic spell or not.

[satsujinki]

[If only it were so easy. Shiki preferred an easy-going life rather than a stressful one.

Hardship and sacrifice weren't what he wanted.]

Whatever it is--I'm not equipped to deal with it.

[He was, but looking at the sky without his glasses was painful. Seeing the 'lines' in the sky made his head throb more and more.]

It's a pain to go out of my way just to mind my own business.

[defenceless]

[Her first idea of a response is: "Pff, deal with it." No one really likes a hard life. No one likes going out of their way. But it just has to be done...

Then she thinks he's referring to his broadcast itself.]

If you can't deal with ALASTAIR, it's better if you hide under a rock somewhere and hope you don't die.

What kind of tea do you like best?

[satsujinki]

[With the suddenness of a car accident, Shiki was left without a real clue as to this person's intentions in that conversation. In two lines alone, they went from seemingly encouraging absolute solitude straight to a casual question one would ask a proper acquaintance.

It gave him reason to pause in his response for a minute or so.]

What possessed you to make this a pleasant conversation?

[--Though, he didn't intend to sound sarcastic. He didn't even intend to send that message in the first place, but it happened. Impulse and irritation were a caustic mix-up.]

[defenceless]

Huh? What are you talking about?

You said you wanted tea, didn't you? Answer the question.

[satsujinki]

It seemed like you were more interested in doling out somber advice than talking about tea.

Sorry, but it was just a little weird to jump right back to it. Did I say something wrong?

[defenceless]

Don't call it somber!

[She thinks it was designed to whip your ass into gear, Shiki.

Ahem. Manners, though.]

It looks like I have to spell it out for you. I'm willing to bring you tea. Maybe show you how to survive in the dark, too.

[satsujinki]

[Audibly, Shiki slipped. 'Uuuummm hummed out of him, while he wondered what in the world prompted that sort of generosity.]

I'm describing it in my own perspective. I can hardly change that, I'm afraid.

--and, while your offer is really generous, I'll have to decline. Not only do I not know you, but I've done nothing to deserve anything like that. You'd probably just be wasting something precious on a stranger you may not even like.

[He was, after all, the type of young man who detested allowances and preferred to work for himself.]

[defenceless]

It's rude to turn down a generous offer, isn't it? I thought you were just trying to ask someone in ALASTAIR for a cup of tea, after all.

"I guess tea would be able to improve the state of things just a little."

That's what you said.

You can relax. You don't have to worry about knowing me or me wasting anything if it's just a cup of tea. That's not much. Really, I've prepared tea so often throughout my life that you could just consider it a common courtesy.

[satsujinki]

[Yet, Shiki mulled over the thought in his head that adding a tense aspect to the tea would definitely not help with his nerves at that point.

One cup of tea? It certainly was nothing much compared to a block. All by its lonesome, Shiki couldn't object, but being cornered certainly wasn't how he wanted to spend his day or evening--whichever was the case.]

No, you're right.

[In his head, he pictured someone much older than him giving him a furious scolding. Text barely lent him real context.]

I'm sorry if I was rude. It's just difficult to feel like I can slip into a polite conversation so soon after wondering about my possible imminent death.

[Though, even Shiki realized very quickly how sarcastic that sounded--even via text. In truth, he wasn't even being sarcastic--he just had very few filters when it came to horrible, painful deaths.]

Sorry, again. I guess I can't make anymore excuses at this point, but if I accept defeat here, I'd like to keep the conversation as pleasant as possible.

[defenceless]

[She's not going to say anything about the whole "pleasant conversation" part of it. For Rin, that would be accepting a special sort of defeat in itself.

But she does take what he's telling her into consideration. She's tsundere like that.]

Don't feel as though you have to apologize. Why do you think you're going to die, if I can ask?

[satsujinki]

[Actually taking the time to answer, Shiki realized he was being posed with a question people didn't often delve into with him. Whenever he spoke about death with people at school or at home, it was dismissed with candor that showed their attitude about it.

Nobody wanted to face the topic. He was too comfortable with it.]

Everything that lurks in the shadows and all around us.

[Death itself, but--it wasn't as if telling her what he could see would amount to anything. To top it off, even if anyone suspected what he could experience for himself, it wasn't as if they would believe it completely or even understand it. So, he went with his second fear.]

ALASTAIR likes recruiting monsters. It's only a matter of time until I'm in someone's way, isn't it?

[defenceless]

Is it that you see into the shadows? You see or sense what normal people cannot?

[A strange answer, another equally strange pair of questions in response. Perhaps most normal people would think of overactive imagination, or figurative language. Rin knows there is often an entire other world out there.]

We're all in someone's way. And yes, ALASTAIR has recruited some real creeps. It's also logical to doubt they'll come through for us. But they can probably track us, and they possess the power to discipline those who run out of control—that I have to believe.

[satsujinki]

It's a metaphor. I meant 'the unknown'. There's danger everywhere, if you think about it. We barely know the people here--we barely know each other.

It's tough to get to know and trust one person without it being the ruse. Doing that for dozens of people at a time is next to impossible.

[It was true that Shiki wasn't quite talking about his eyes, but in a way it was all about them. Even thinking about magical and supernatural creatures made his head hurt.

There had been plenty of people he had seen who made his skin crawl even without a natural layer of distrust.]

Plus, I'm not sure ALASTAIR cares about discipline at this point. Isn't a frontal assault on a nation's capital plenty of motivation for exactly that?

[defenceless]

You don't trust people. You keep them at an arm's length, but you don't refuse them, either. That's mainly because you can't. Look past ALASTAIR and see the city and the people we're interfering with. Don't you think they deserve to know peace, learn the truth, and live according to their proper timeline?

[satsujinki]

It's none of my business and it isn't as if I'm any good at helping people in this kind of dire strait!

[For all the cowardly talk he squeeze, Shiki didn't quite realize that he acted in opposition. He would pursue action without thinking twice about it.]

Is that so unreasonable to believe? You'd think that would be the most popular mindset.

[defenceless]

It's not unreasonable, and I bet more people aside from you share the same perspective.

However, the reality is that Chantes has become your business if you ever want to head home.

[satsujinki]

[It wasn't reassuring. Shaking off the chill that he really was stranded wouldn't be easy--maybe not even possible.]

I'm sorry if my mindset is so defeatist.

I guess I don't know how to get used to this.

[defenceless]

[some things can't be reassuring, when you say them.]

Yeah, I've grasped that much. Do you want to tell me your favorite tea, or not?

[satsujinki]

[Crap. It seemed like he forgot that was what he was deflecting.]

Roasted green tea and Oolong. It depends on the season.

[defenceless]

Fair enough. I'll see what I can scrounge up. It'll be passable.

Shall I just head for the dock when I'm done?