futurology | video; 1hitko

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video; 1hitko

[Alright, so maybe she's a little late with it being the 1st and all, but Ranmaru is on the video feed in a seasonally appropriate version of her usual outfit; instead of her hat, it's a santa hat, and instead of her jacket, it's a santa jacket - only it's worn the same way she wears her usual one, unbuttoned.

And...that's a fairly large sack she's holding over her shoulder, appropriately red to match her outfit. At least she's more relaxed with this one since it wasn't the result of some dumb curse.]

Yooooo! Little late for this I guess, but you all got one last gift to get for Christmas, courtesy of Old Saint Nick himself. Santa-san's real sorry they couldn't do it themselves but...y'know, long trip back home and all. So I'll be playing Santa's helper this year.

[She waves a hand, dismissively; don't think too hard about this.]

Anyway...apparently some real thoughtful person on our team asked Santa-san for something to lift the old collective spirit, soo...

[She puts the sack down, and from within it pulls out...this]

Isn't it cute? This is mine, so don't ask for it. But they're really warm and cozy too; great for the cold if that kinda thing gets to you. Cold never bothered me, anyway.

Anyway, if you wanna grab yours, just come on down to the city square. ...although if that's a problem for anyone, lemme know. I'll have it sent your way somehow.

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[She almost rises to that, but instead;]

Well, what animal do you think is better?

Lions are clearly the superior beast.

[...oh, but he won't fall for this, either. He wags his finger, no, no!]

But it does no good for a woman to hide her figure! Indeed, it is most shameful! A truly benevolent spirit of the holiday would encourage her to embrace her own personal beauty, rather than mask them behind this unflattering guise. So speaks the King.

Sorry, but I think Santa-san's got more authority than you in matters of Christmas.

Besides, if someone's that bothered by it, they don't gotta take it.

It's a shame, though-

[She reaches into the sack and pulls out-

Oh-

what's this Gil???

She doesn't actually know if he'll care, but it's worth a shot. She really would like him to have it, despite the fact he's...well, him.]

I don't wanna see 'em go to waste...maybe I'll hand 'em over to some goblins or somethin' instead. Whaddya think?

Any individuals claiming authority above my own are subject to prompt and prejudiced elimination.

[...wait, hold on, what's that?]

For me?

[See, she'd take that seriously if Santa existed.

Err...well, if Santa was here, because for all they know he might exist?? Look at all the crazy shit here, it's no longer unbelievable.

But he's in no danger from Gilgamesh, so instead she just offers him a side glance, still half turned towards the lion too.]

Well, it was meant for you, yeah.

But if you don't want it...

D... d... d...

[Out with it, Gilgamesh. Use your big boy words.]

DON'T YOU DARE GO GIVING MY PRESENTS AWAY TO SOMEONE ELSE! IT'S ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT PERMITTED, UNDERSTAND?! IT'S A TRAVESTY BEYOND WORDS! AN INSULT OF THE VERY HIGHEST ORDER AGAINST THE VERY HIGHEST KING!

[He's outright bellowing at this point. Gilgamesh all worked up sure is a sight to behold... or maybe just an embarrassment. Maybe both.]

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!!!

Okay, okay!

[Sorry, she really is laughing.]

I'll put it aside just for you, but...you better move quick just to be safe!

[Emphasized, somehow, by shaking the lion costume a little as if it'll drift away.]

[...not even two minutes later...

Ranmaru, you may recognize the swirling portal above your head now. It's big and golden and vaguely foreboding and you may or may not remember weapons coming out of it to threaten your life some time ago, but instead of that it's Gilgamesh dropping down wearing a distinctive sweater and looking as though he just rolled out of bed.

Probably because he did. He smells like he also went like rolling around in a lot of wine and a lot of women.]

You worthless rogue.

[So he grumbles to the person who got him a present. But he's making it clear, okay, he doesn't like you. Not one bit. This is strictly a business exchange!]

Hand it over. I'll assess its quality for myself.

[Yeah, it isn't like it's a concern; she told him she never once considered him someone who wouldn't kill her out of nowhere, even on something as simple as a whim, so she is concerned for just a moment-

Before...Gil drops down, looking a far cry from his usual pristine self. It's funny, actually, but she doesn't laugh this time. This is a very serious moment.

To see if he'll accept a dumb gift.]

R-right! Here you go.

[She holds it out to him...]

[Gilgamesh takes it. And just stands there for several moments, turning it this way and that, feasibly making his own private assessments before throwing a request at Ranmaru entirely out of left field Though it is still Gilgamesh so maybe it's not all that much of a surprise.]

You. You put yours on first.

[First seems to imply he's willing to go along with it, but...]

...err, sure.

[Weirdo.

She takes off the Santa Jacket and hat, tossing them to the ground carelessly since she isn't too bothered for them frankly. Still in her normal pants and her chest bound by the usual bandages, she slips into the monkey kigurumi, buttons it up, then stands before him with her hands on her hips.

They may be in public but Absolutely Zero Shame over here. Shame is the enemy.]

Happy now?

[Oh no. Oh no, it's cute. Gilgamesh definitely looks... something like happy, alright. Something like fawning. He's also trying really, really hard not to be and failing in pretty much every regard. Not even his usual threats seem to carry much weight.]

Nauseating! Noxious! Disgusting! That helper's taste in evening wear is the absolute worst. I could cut you down right now without regrets.

[He pokes at her a little. Coochy-coochy-coo, you adorable mongrel. Someone's having way too good of a time with this.]

[Oh god don't do that!! But not in the usual "gilgamesh keep your hands off people" way, it's because she's ticklish. He only needs to prod her once and she yelps a bit, recoiling, but awkwardly laughing.]

H-hey, hey, look with your eyes, not your hands!

[Oh, so definitely put hands on her face and spread her cheeks into a big ol' grin? Right. Doing that.]

Heheheh! See how stupid you look! It's almost unbelievable...!

[Absolutely not???

She grabs both his wrists in protest but she doesn't really try to stop him, either.]

O-oi, oi, c'mon!

Nothin' wrong with looking a little stupid sometimes...!!

I suppose you do pull it off in a way that's almost... cute.

[Aww, look at Gilgamesh being all upfront about his feelings.]

For a detestable piece of garbage.

[...nice while it lasted.]

Hey!

[Regardless of whether or not he's still holding onto her, she grabs his face in a similar manner, but doesn't bother forcing any one expression, yanking at his cheeks.]

Even if I am garbage, I'm top quality garbage! Like a still-in-working-condition model of this year's computer you find in a junk pile on a rainy day!

[what were you honestly expecting.]

WAH!

[Well, that's one way to get his attention. Gilgamesh fumbles, and finally fesses up:]

Fine, fine! It wash cute! Leggo!

[She lets go, gently pats his cheeks once, and then puts her hands back to her sides, grinning.]

Was that so hard?

[Gilgamesh glances back to the kigurumi in his hands and seems to waver about something.]

Th...

[...an...]

...k...

[...]

...

[...what's he trying to say? "Thank you"?]

I'll... I'll model mine privately, then! Don't you dare come peeking on this heavenly body, mongrel!

[He races off before he can be questioned any further... what a strange man.]

[What a tsundere..............

But she has stuff to do!! So she'll leave him alone and go hand out the rest of these. Later Gil.]

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