video; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

[The video is carefully cropped so 82736775's face isn't visible, focused at chest-level. A chest that is clothed in a nebulously green fabric, incidentally (it's a dinosaur kigurumi).]

Hey, what up. So a-a-apparently nobody else is sick of sitting around and waiting for fake impossible "magic answers" to land in our lap with respect to our job. Remember that thing we're supposed to be doing? About the freakin' endless darkness plaguing this world? Yeah.

[His hands come into frame, holding a beat-up metal tube with a bunch of science-looking shit stuck to it, like some lights and buttons and stuff. Maybe there are some exposed wires but don't pay any attention to that.]

This... is a telescope. I'm showing it to you in case you come from a world where they're called something dumb. Like a sky-tube or something, I dunno. Just trying to mitigate stuUUuuurr-- stupid questions.

I have an ass-load of these things and I can make more. If you're wondering how, the answer is I'm a genius. [He lowers the telescope.] They're all hooked up to my, uh... something I have; th-th-that -- that's not important. The point is, I need volunteers to take these things out to the highest vantage points around, aim them at the sky, and take readings.

[One finger goes up.] First, if you don't know how to look through one end of a thing and listen for beeps, you're too stupid to use these so don't even ask. Go hit some shit with rocks, that's pr-probably more your speed.

[A second finger goes up.] Don't use them to be peeping toms. This is science, not an excuse to be a gross purrrrr-- perv.

[A third finger goes up.] This all needs to be at the same time. In a few days, the sky should be clear enough for a decent reading across the b-- urrrp -- board.

Serious inquiries only. I'm not here to dick around. Name a place and I'll drop off the machine.

[The hand throws up the sign of the horns before the video ends.] I'm out.

[ click here for ooc sign-ups! ]

Comments

[beyourrock]

Not specifically me. I'm just saying I have some knowledge...

[ricksybusiness]

Urrrrp, uh, I'm sure you do. [Is that... condescension...] This is very technical work, though, so. Y'know.

[beyourrock]

I'm sure I can manage if given the opportunity.

[ricksybusiness]

Are we measuring our science dicks now? Hot. [He actually sounds a little amused now. gj, Pearl, you're getting on his good side.]

Look, I'll let you have one of these and you can fix it up howeeeeever you want. Really wow me.

[beyourrock]

[She's always up for a challenge. Pearl smirks confidently down into the communicator.]

Free range over your prototype? Good to know you're not married to it. Wouldn't want you to be disappointed with the improvements I make.

[ricksybusiness]

Baby, marriage is the byproduct of primitive biological impulses and our ingrained fear of dying alone. I'm not married to anything. [He's flirting. This is how Rick flirts.]

1/2

[beyourrock]

[Okay that earns a small smile from the Gem.]

Such bravery you have...

[beyourrock]

I ah, don't believe I ever caught your name.

1/2

[ricksybusiness]

Yeah. I don't know who's listening in on this thing.

locked;

[ricksybusiness]

It's Rick. Don't spread it around.

Re: locked;

[beyourrock]

And why not?

Are you wanted or something by someone else in ALASTAIR?

[ricksybusiness]

I'm saying I don't know who ALASTAIR's friends are.

[beyourrock]

[The gears in her head start turning.]

Are you some kind of space criminal?

[ricksybusiness]

None of your urrrrrppp-- business.

[beyourrock]

So you are.

[She rolls her eyes but waves her hand dismissively.]

Look, I don't care. When and where do you wish to meet so I can pick up your poor excuse of a telescope?

[ricksybusiness]

[No comment!!] Up to you, P-train. I'm flexible.

[beyourrock]

It's Pearl.

And fine. Goblin tavern. Twenty minutes.

=> action;

[ricksybusiness]

Yo.

[His portal gun is quickly running out of charge, so he decides to actually walk to the meeting place this time, since Pearl actually gave him a time frame. It certainly doesn't take him twenty minutes to get there, though, so while he waits for her, he helps himself to more alcohol.

So lucky that half these people are choosing taverns as their meeting place.]

[beyourrock]

[And Pearl arrives right on time, like she said. Not a minute too soon or too late! The Gem enters the tavern, bobbing her head up and down to try and spot the obnoxious man. A few goblins poke and jab at her, commenting on her appearance. In what language? Pearl was not familiar with it, but she pulls her cloak tighter around her toothpick-like frame.

She finally spots the man, almost stumbling up to him as she squeezes past some sturdy goblins.]

Of course. You're partaking in more drinking.

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick rolls his eyes as Pearl pops up, waiting until he's done knocking back the tankard before deigning to turn sideways and answer her.]

O-oh, look at you, how observant. When do you get your "stating the obvious" merit badge? Here. [He picks up the telescope and hands it over to her.] Now you can flit back to wherever you came from.

[beyourrock]

[Pearl frowns at him and snatches up the telescope, looking it over with a critical eye.

She doesn't say anything for a long time. But she does wrinkle her nose in distaste, and cringe.]

Charming.

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick belches in response.] Yeeeeup. Exactly what I was going for.

[He finally turns around to face her completely, setting the tankard down and folding his arms over his chest.]

You need instructions?

[beyourrock]

I know how a telescope works.

[She mutters as she turns the device in her hand a few times before she carefully observes the exposed wiring.]

I don't need instructions. Just point it at the sky and look into it. You said you'll be compiling the data later, right?

[ricksybusiness]

[Do you, Pearl? DO YOU??

Rick's mood has obviously shifted to something less manic in just the short time since their network conversation, and he just rolls his eyes.] Yeah, 'just look into it.' Whatever. Yes, I'm compiling the data. I'm not a huuurp-- hack.

[beyourrock]

[She wrinkles her nose at his belching and suddenly regrets her life choices as she glances down at the telescope. A little work on it wouldn't be too terrible.]

And you'll inform us of all of the compiled information?