video | username: merlin

[servant]

[It's the first time that Merlin's broadcasted a video of his own, normally content to just poke his nose into others. He's sitting at a table, chin propped up on his fist, the universal pose of Deep Thought.]

I've been thinking a lot lately. [And that would be the point where Arthur would inevitably have something to say about that. It feels...odd, being able to continue without interruption. And not in an entirely good way.] About the humans and the goblins, but mostly about those who found themselves caught in-between. It's difficult, living your life in secret, wondering where you fit in, if you fit in at all.

[He's getting that wounded bear face again, a long expression with sad round eyes.]

I'm not trying to excuse anything terrible that's been done. By anyone. I was only wondering if anyone else knows what it's like to feel like an outcast.

Comments

[bougy]

Oh, of course, how else would they know who they are, if they didn't know who they weren't? Maker forbid they actually have to think about it. ( she's smirking; as if she's one to talk. )

And, well, I like to think that they're more unhappy than outcasts are. Sometimes being on the outside isn't so bad. Especially if you have your family. Or friends.

[servant]

Have you every felt that way? [He blinks, worried that came across as an accusation rather than curiosity. What he doesn't seem to realize is that it might be too personal.] I'm not disagreeing with you. Having your friends and family make everything easier to bare.

[bougy]

( she actually pauses a moment and considers it: it's too heavy not to. she's aware, in a way, that he's probably a bit concerned about offending if he's going out of his way to say he doesn't disagree, but she's not particularly concerned at the moment with putting him at ease. she's just being honest, and maybe a bit earnest, as she's assuming he's being about such a close thing. )

I'll tell you this: being outcast made my life, and my family's life, a lot harder than it had to be. Maybe unfairly so, but that depends on who you ask. But it's not like we had a choice. You see, there's magic in my family. ( as if that explains everything. ) By rights, my father shouldn't have had the kind of life being an outcast allowed him.

[servant]

[Oh, but it explains so much, at least to Merlin.]

It certainly made life a lot harder than it should've been for me and my mother. My father too. We weren't given much of a choice either - well, we could choose a hard life or death, if that's a choice.

[bougy]

( her eyes widen slightly at the realisation that he's that kind of an outcast. if their situations aren't the same, they're at least similar. )

You and your mother are the apostates? ( a small pause after such a personal question, considering. ) Not much of one, I think it's fair to say. Though there are some fates worse than death and all that. ...So, do they just exterminate mages, like so many troublesome pests?

[servant]

I've never heard that word before. My mother doesn't have magic, I inherited it from my father. And even his gifts weren't quite the same.

And they do. I think the king would much rather see a rat than a sorcerer. A rat would certainly stand a better chance of surviving.

[bougy]

Ah, an apostate is someone who--turns their back on something, I believe? Or what they used to believe. It also refers to anyone who commits the crime of being magical outside of a Circle where mages are supposed to be.

( was he just a different kind of mage? she figures that what he means, even she and her own sister had different affinities for schools of magic. for right now anyway she's too bothered by a reality where all mages are killed on sight. it's the nightmare of her fanatical companion come true--and which she told him was impossible. it's hard not to be uncomfortable, so her sarcasm is more biting than she means. ) A crime, surely, for rats are actually guilty of carrying disease and being disgusting. What happened to make him so scared? Did he get spurned by the love of his life?

[servant]

There isn't any such place in my world.

[But he's not sure he'd like that anyway, being separated and not allowed to be outside of that space.]

Worse, he lost her. Magic played a part in her death, so now he hates it all.

[bougy]

Well. ( a slight pause because what are complicated feelings. ) Who knows, maybe open season is better.

( she scoffs. the story is so typical it's almost boring. ) Let's hope a peasant doesn't fail to stop him getting gout then. Though I suppose for that he's more likely to execute all surgeons.