futurology | !IMPORTANT! video; username: 82736775

[The video is from everyone's favorite camera-shy mad scientist, 82736775. This time, he's not even present in a carefully-framed way; he appears to just be using his jewellery as a Go-Pro.

The view is a large machine in the middle of the woods. It's crudely constructed, with loud, grinding gears and exhaust tubes belching smoke. There are three figures scurrying about -- Dipper, Shiki, and Hide, for those of you who would recognize them -- pulling levers and turning cranks and struggling to hear each other over the machine's groaning. Jars of fairy goop hang off the thing like lanterns in a coal mine.]

Listen uuuup, bitcheesss!

[The view jerks, then readjusts as the sky comes into focus.]

Thanks to my genius and everybody else's scrappy, can-do attitude, we're about to make scientific history. By which I mean w-we're about to blow this bullshit away.

[His hand enters the frame. He is flipping off the sky.]

Engage Operation: Fuck You, Magic!

[The frame stays centered on the sky, though the machine's groaning reaches almost deafening levels. Above the cacophony, there's a high-pitched whining: something is warming up. All over Chantes, the ground shakes.

Then bright green fills the screen and everything is so loud that it's almost silent. Those of you who are at a distance may see a gigantic green beam shooting into the sky just before everything turns bright white for a few long seconds.

And suddenly, there is light. Stars. Two moons. The sky is back.

82736775 is laughing maniacally. He swings the frame around to the giant machine, which has blasted wide open: smoking panels have fallen to the ground, exposing frayed wires. His assistants are also on the ground, looking dazed.]

Suck my dick, Narnia! Haha, yeah!

Now let's figure out what to do and get the hell off this rock! Team science, ouuuut!

[ ooc. IMPORTANT! the sun is now returned. from this point on, there are normal day-night cycles in chantes! be aware there are two moons, and the sun rises in the west. use this post to discuss what to do now! threadjacking encouraged. thank you to my fellow players and our modteam for making this plot so successful! i love you all.

UPDATE! check this thread for conversation on a peaceful option. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Magic, science -- it makes no difference to him how the issue was resolved. Others can complain about Rick's magic remark if they want to, but he isn't going to. ]

Considering the lack of technology here, it's possible they might.

[ He's just being real with you, man. ]

Either way, half of our objective here is now complete.

[Oh, he has been on pleeeeenty of planets with technology levels just like this. He is already anticipating it happening.]

True dat. Back to the riddle: kill 'em all, kill one side, or door number three?

[ Ah, the cynicism. He remembers their first chat. ]

Perhaps we'll both be surprised.

[ He doesn't really expect ideal outcomes anymore, but there are those willing to work towards one. ]

Door number three seems to be the option supported by most.

Last I checked, this wasn't a democracy, broh. Majority doesn't mean jack.

I meant those among us sent here by ALASTAIR.

[ What the native population does is another matter. ]

Ideal solutions rarely work, in my experience, but there will be those who try.

So did I. I don't really give a fuck what kind of feel-good, Mickey Mouse ending these fuckers want. I want results. Sometimes you gotta b-break a few eggs.

I agree with you.

[ He's not the altruistic sort, Rick. You're preaching to the choir here. ]

We'll have to see what happens.

[You're alright, Archer, for a humorless Hot Topic shopper.]

Y-yeah, well. I'm gonna get fuckin' wrecked until it does.

[ He's got the abs, ass, and sass to go with it.

He lets out another soft laugh. ]

Let me know when and where you're ready to collect what I owe you, and I'll meet you there.

Dawg, I'm always ready. [Case in point: he is drinking in the woods right now. Next to the smoking carcass of his machine.] I'm not in the mood for a c-couple drinks and quiet conversation, though. If you can't handle that, I'll hit you up in a couple day-- uh, days.

[ He fought in the Trojan War, bud. He's pretty confident he can deal with your version of partying. ]

I can handle it, I'm sure.

[You weren't at Blood Ridge on Glapflap's third moon, Archer! don't act like u know.]

Worrrrrd. I-I'll be hitting the taverns all night. Just follow the sound of me kicking ass.

[ The Greeks knew how to party, okay. It can't be any crazier than that. ]

I'll see you on the trail, then.

!IMPORTANT! video; username: 82736775

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