!IMPORTANT! video; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

[The video is from everyone's favorite camera-shy mad scientist, 82736775. This time, he's not even present in a carefully-framed way; he appears to just be using his jewellery as a Go-Pro.

The view is a large machine in the middle of the woods. It's crudely constructed, with loud, grinding gears and exhaust tubes belching smoke. There are three figures scurrying about -- Dipper, Shiki, and Hide, for those of you who would recognize them -- pulling levers and turning cranks and struggling to hear each other over the machine's groaning. Jars of fairy goop hang off the thing like lanterns in a coal mine.]

Listen uuuup, bitcheesss!

[The view jerks, then readjusts as the sky comes into focus.]

Thanks to my genius and everybody else's scrappy, can-do attitude, we're about to make scientific history. By which I mean w-we're about to blow this bullshit away.

[His hand enters the frame. He is flipping off the sky.]

Engage Operation: Fuck You, Magic!

[The frame stays centered on the sky, though the machine's groaning reaches almost deafening levels. Above the cacophony, there's a high-pitched whining: something is warming up. All over Chantes, the ground shakes.

Then bright green fills the screen and everything is so loud that it's almost silent. Those of you who are at a distance may see a gigantic green beam shooting into the sky just before everything turns bright white for a few long seconds.

And suddenly, there is light. Stars. Two moons. The sky is back.

82736775 is laughing maniacally. He swings the frame around to the giant machine, which has blasted wide open: smoking panels have fallen to the ground, exposing frayed wires. His assistants are also on the ground, looking dazed.]

Suck my dick, Narnia! Haha, yeah!

Now let's figure out what to do and get the hell off this rock! Team science, ouuuut!

[ ooc. IMPORTANT! the sun is now returned. from this point on, there are normal day-night cycles in chantes! be aware there are two moons, and the sun rises in the west. use this post to discuss what to do now! threadjacking encouraged. thank you to my fellow players and our modteam for making this plot so successful! i love you all.

UPDATE! check this thread for conversation on a peaceful option. ]

Comments

[lumberpuncture]

["kind of" questionable. Okay, Dipper]

[Laughs]

Like what? How does your fancy little science trick work, anyway?

[twinpeak]

If you want the finer details, you'll have to ask...

[ Briefly, he trails off. ]

Eight-two-seven etcetera. It's his machine, I can't take credit for building it.

[lumberpuncture]

But you worked on it, didn't you? What about that brain you were just telling me about?

Yeah, Stutters.. Does he have a name?

[twinpeak]

Hey—just because this isn't my project doesn't mean I don't have a brain! Because I do. It's a good one. And he's keeping his name off the network.

[lumberpuncture]

Why? Is he shy?

[As for the quest of Dipper's brains...] Now's the time to prove it, squirt.

[twinpeak]

You could just ask him yourself. [ HE'S RIGHT THERE.... ] If you want me to prove it, then what do you want to know?

[lumberpuncture]

[But harassing tiny nerds is funner!!]

How about an explanation of how the science crap worked, genius?

[twinpeak]

[ ... ]

Okay, sure. So after collecting all the necessary data via the telescopes and materials from the caves, what happened after that was...

[ And thus begins a bit of a lengthy "explanation"; quotes used because Dipper doesn't... actually know how the machine was built, but he can talk like he's smart! With talk about physics and unnecessarily complicated mathematical equations and all! It's all basically made up on the fly, but he's banking on that she doesn't know this academic bs much.... and it'll prove him right or something, okay. Better stop him before he just keeps making more and more up. ]

[lumberpuncture]

[Well]

[She does try to keep up.... for about a minute]

That sounds fake, but okay.

[twinpeak]

[ —Oh. Well. (She isn't wrong, but he won't be telling her that.) ]

Oh, I assure you, it's all very real! But I get it—it's a complicated topic and all. That's why you have people like me who can make sense of it.

[lumberpuncture]

Really? It sounds to me like you spouted all this crap to try to impress a girl.

Maybe you're hitting puberty after all.

[twinpeak]

[ LADY..... ]

You asked!

[lumberpuncture]

[She just laughs... because she's a jerk.]

How do you know all this crap, anyway?

[twinpeak]

[ He's noticed!!! ]

By studying? Reading? The same way anyone learns anything.

[lumberpuncture]

You're, what, ten? [She's known plenty of nerds in her life, though Dipper is by far the tiniest] What are you even studying?

[twinpeak]

Twelve.

[ GET IT RIGHT. ]

Does it matter? You're just going to make fun of me, aren't you?

[lumberpuncture]

Same difference.

[She's going to do that regardless... Sorry, Dipper]

I'm curious. You're obviously smarter than most of the idiots here, if Stutters has you working as his gopher.

[Look, a compl...iment...?]

[twinpeak]

[ ............. ?!

Dipper falls silent for a long moment, considering. Eventually: ]

... My school's just—you know, normal and stuff. [ What's so extraordinary about seventh grade academia? Not much. ] But I've picked up a lot about the supernatural over the summer.

[strictdiscipline]

At least he's impressing someone.

[The implication being that Johanna is clearly impressing no one with her less-than-stellar behavior. Please just stop.]

[lumberpuncture]

[Did mommy come to save the day]

What can I say, I have a way with kids.

[Never forget the play]

[strictdiscipline]

[How could she forget absolute and utter trainwreck of the play and how half the small crowd had burst into tears towards the end?

#neverforget]

Do you plan on alienating everyone you work with here?