video | text, un: uruz

[uruzology]

[ The scene presented via jewelry is within one of the many rooms of the newly refurbished Oska castle. A centaur stands next to the cheerfully roaring fire, presenting a matchingly cheerful smile. ]

It looks like you’ve all lived, although that was a little close there, for some of you. Good work! I knew you could do it.

Now, as you may have noticed by Oska looking quite well around you, the last week was a false reality. Don’t take it personally, that happens to everyone here eventually. We have to make sure recruits are up to snuff. You’re a bit unique as a whole team of greenhorns, though. To be quite honest, I’ve never seen this activity done on such a large scale before. It was impressive, wasn’t it? And don’t worry, any trinkets you may have come across are quite real, and yours to keep if you want them.

So then, to business. I’m Uruz. I’m familiar with some of you already, although I’m afraid that’s one-sided in most cases — I spent a fair bit of time in there with you, but none of you saw me if I was doing my job right. ALASTAIR has asked me and my compatriots, Dagny, Crowley, and Cherenkov, to review your performance within Chantes and rate your work. It’s quite a big job, our to-do with worlds, and we want to make sure we’ve got trustworthy recruits. I’ve attached that for you, please do give it a glance.

dagny: Well, the king died. So that's... not the best. From what I hear, things are kind of chaotic there right now, what with the whole 'no government' thing and all. And a lot of you got in a ton of trouble with the law. But you did work together! Most of you, anyway. People died and the city got destroyed, but I know you all did your best, so you get points for effort. I give you an... eight. Point five. No, nine out of ten. But that's as high as I'll go, because, you know. The murder and death.

Don’t feel bad, though, there’s always room for improvement.

crowley: Your refusal to work with the goblins’ natural talents for magic was disappointing. I foresaw much potential there, and it was wasted on your muddying things up with politics. On the other paw, your dispelling of demons and other magical creatures was serviceable, if a little last-minute. 5/10.

cherenkov: I stopped paying attention after you all brought the sun back. Because that's what matters, doesn't it? You didn’t do badly for a bunch of apes, but don’t get distracted by the diplomatic nonsense next time. Ignore the cow and the knife-eared one. Spend the time improving instrumentation, not making friends. 8/10.

uruz: You did make an attempt. You got engaged and cared to deal with their issues, which, well, we'd really have an issue for concern if not. And you did very nice work on a personal level, to bring together goblins and humans. They'll not be moving in together any time soon, but they're on the right path. But really, did you have to murder the man? He'd just killed the king, to be sure, but taking a life has serious consequences, no matter whose it was. It sets you on a path it can be difficult to step off of. But overall, acceptable. 6/10.

There we go. On a final note, I’ve been asked to let you know that you’ve got some time to spend in Oska before your next assignment, which is to Nalawi. A lovely place, I’m a bit envious. Enjoy your downtime, and again, good work! I’ve very high hopes for the lot of you.

[ The network is now back up again along with Oska being restored and the weather events ended, and you can find a full description of current Oska right here. Feel free to use this post to thread on, and the NPCs may make a few appearances for direct questions. ]

Comments

[jamminshield]

Nuh-uh! Connie's not an idiot, she's the smartest person I know!

[ricksybusiness]

Well, I'm a genius. What does that tell you?

[jamminshield]

Ummm, that you're... both smart?

[ricksybusiness]

No, your little friend or whatever is wasting her potential. Tell her to wise up.

[jamminshield]

No, that's wrong! Connie's already so wise! She's as wise as... as... as three wise men standing on each other's shoulders!

[runningjoke]

Don't listen to him, Steven. He can go fuck himself.

[ This is the opposite of helping. ]

[jamminshield]

[Normally this would be the most heartwarming thing ever but now Steven just looks horrified at what she said; his face twists the moment she utters that word.]

What?!

[runningjoke]

What?

[jamminshield]

P-Peridot...

...You...

...You said the word!!

[runningjoke]

...Fuck?

[jamminshield]

[Steven squeals and claps his hands over his ears.]

You said it again!!

[ricksybusiness]

Hey, Peridot. H-hey. Hey.

Fuck you.

[runningjoke]

Fuck you, clod!!

[ricksybusiness]

I gotta teach you more insults. Call me an asshole next time.

[runningjoke]

An "asshole" is what you call someone, and not an action phrase, like "fuck you," right?

[mortyfied]

Hey, Ri-- I-I mean, h-he's just... d-don't listen to him. I'm sure your friend uh.. C-Connie, is really smart even if she does go to school!

[sorry you have to deal with rick, steven..]

[jamminshield]

I know he's gotta be wrong. Even geniuses can be wrong! [he smiles.] But thanks. It's nice to heat from someone else.

...Do you think schools are bad too?

[mortyfied]

Um.... n-not for the same reason he does?

[He has to think about that for a moment.]

R-- I mean, he thinks it's a waste for smart people b-because he doesn't like being told what to do. But you can meet a lot of cool people and you learn important stuff like math and whatever, right?

B-but then there's also guys who think they're pretty tough and-- and-- a-and they beat people like me up all the time to show off or.. something, I dunno. I-I just know that I'm tired of getting shoved into lockers all the time, y'know?

[jamminshield]

Ohhh, I get it! So the learning part's definitely cool. That's what I thought from what Connie told me! I'm glad.

[Then he frowns sympathetically.]

But the other part's definitely bad. Is that what bullies are like? I'm sorry you get beat up a lot. You know, if we went to the same school? I wouldn't shove you into any lockers? I'd... I'd only shove you into... um... hugs!

[mortyfied]

[Steven... cute...]

Um.. th-thank you? I guess? [just think, these two are the same age somehow]

You.. probably shouldn't go around hugging everyone though. I-I mean, it sounds like you've never been to public school before so uh, yeah. Don't hug anyone you don't know... o-or anyone at all, probably.

[ricksybusiness]

That doesn't even... [Peridot called him Steven, and now Pearl is here too. She did say something about a Steven before, and at the time he hadn't really... cared, but now he's curious.]

How do you know Pearl?

[jamminshield]

I've always known her. She and the other Crystal Gems raised me, and now I'm a Crystal Gem too!

[ricksybusiness]

[ok wait hold up.] You're a Gem? W-where's your, uh... your forehead's empty.

[jamminshield]

[He quietly lifts his shirt to reveal his gem belly.]

[ricksybusiness]

[What the fuuuuuuuuu]

Is that... normal for males of your species?