video | un: deathweaver

[respired]

[ Koltira's in the sunny courtyard, standing beneath one of the trees. Shadows and light play across his face, throwing the cold, icy glow of his eyes into stark relief. He's wearing greaves and boots, but only a plain, black tunic otherwise (and the skull-shaped ring that serves as his communicator). Byfrost, as ever, simmers darkly on his back.

He doesn't speak right away, as though he's suddenly lost his nerve. Truth be told, he's not sure how to begin this. The middle part is clear, and the end bit, too, but ... he exhales. ]

My name is Koltira Deathweaver, if you did not know it before. I have hurt a number of you directly, and in so doing, hurt others indirectly. Some of us have spoken, though not all. I will try now to explain myself.



[ He leans back against the tree, uncomfortable. ]

My second name is not a family name. It is an epithet, forced upon me as undeath itself was forced upon me.

[ He gestures to his eyes; his sallow, bluish, cracked skin. ]

I earned [ this word he spits, disgusted by it ] the epithet during long years of enslavement to a will that subsumed my own. The Lich King ordered my death; he remade me into one of his knights. And though I broke free, and though my brothers and sisters rose up against our former master, his mark on us remains.

[ He taps his foot on the grass. ]

We call it the endless hunger. It is a curse--of blood, of flesh, of whatever unholy foundation holds our wretched bodies together. Hunger is perhaps the best way for you to understand it, though it is not for any typical food. We were made to be machines for war. We were made to cause suffering. If we fail in this, we suffer ourselves.

The pain is ever present, albeit manageable. For a time. But if we--if I--do not give in to the hunger's demands, the pain grows. Worsens. It becomes wracking, all-encompassing.

[ He holds up his hand, curling his fingers slowly into a fist. ]

Imagine starving to death, and yet being unable to die. Your body is past its breaking point, but it does not break, because it cannot.

[ His nails dig into the palm of his hand. Black blood trickles down his wrist. ]

Instead, you break. As we do. If I ignore the hunger for too long, I descend into madness. A blood-seeking hysteria. Such was the state in which some of you found me.

I do not tell you this as an excuse. Only as an explanation. I deeply regret what I have done, and I am sorry. You need not forgive me. I do not expect such. If you would rather I keep my distance, I will honor this wish.

[ He pauses. ]

I wish I could end this by telling you that it will never happen again. But that would be a lie. It will. I cannot cure this curse. I can promise only this: when I feel the madness taking hold, I will give due warning. You will be able to spare yourselves, and you will know that if you see me--you must run.

Comments

voice, @taranto

[heavyhitter]

Right, all that, also — next time we're gonna stick you in a pit. With a babygate on top.

[respired]

[ THANKS FOR THE NUANCED RESPONSE, RAMIR. ]

Likely insufficient. Best go for wrought-iron.

voice, @Tohsaka Rin

[defenceless]

I'm sure a wrought-iron babygate can be managed.

audio;

[babbylon]

I should have killed you.

[That's it. That's the response.]

[respired]

Yes.

[ AND THE REPLY. ]

not here;

[defenceless]

voice | un: archer - private

[anti_altruisms]

[ He is angry, to say the very least.

Though some part of him cannot help but agree with Gilgamesh (kill him, kill him now), he is also trying to curb some of his more violent instincts here. He has spoken to Koltira quite frankly in the past, and they were on good terms.

As one slave to another, he will at least speak with him first. ]

It would be well within my rights to claim your head.

[ A cold, deliberate statement. ]

[respired]

[ Koltira doesn't betray any emotion at all. ]

As I said to Gilgamesh: you are free to try.

video; username: baaaan

[perma_banned]

Huuuh~. So, was your intent to get people to kill you?

[respired]

No.

voice; un: r.lutece

[originallutece]

Well. Your honesty is refreshing, but it doesn't solve the key problem-- which, I can promise you, will likely become a problem again, no matter how careful you are. Surely there must be a way to "feed" yourself without hurting others.

[respired]

If there was another way, none of this would have happened in the first place.

VOICE. UN: LOKI

[selfimage]

[ there are no words.

just an over-dramatic sigh from this end. ]

[respired]

Something to say?

[ He feels just as guilty about Loki as anyone else. But patience is simply not in his nature. ]

text @ happybirthday

[adoube]

You're Sack-of-Bones' friend........ so, don't be a pitiful person where he can see it (¬_¬) ¯\_ȌᴥȌ_/¯

[respired]

An explanation was warranted, and given. If you find it pitiful, so be it.

[ What are those little pictures? ]

voice, un: pugsnhugs618

[ackingcraycray]

Well this sounds terrible.

Have you ever considered an alternative method of coping? Allow me to suggest "Art Therapy." Perhaps you can color your murderous urges away!

voice, un: Tohsaka Rin just threadjacks and never talks directly to koltira

[defenceless]

I, for one, think art therapy is a fantastic potential route.

text @jklfj

[sadsack]

uh what happened here

[respired]

A long and unpleasant story.

voice, @terios

[chaoscontrol]

[well that explains some things]

How many years have you suffered this curse?

[respired]

It's hard to say.

[ He doesn't keep time well. ]

Nearly two decades by this point, I suppose.

[hsalf]

...Wow. [Alright then.] It's quite...honorable of you to make such an open confession.

[respired]

I do not run from my actions.

video; @coolskeleton95; pretends im not 3 days late

[boneafide]

YOU DID IT!! You said you were sorry!! I'm very proud of you!! Step one, ACCOMPLISHED!!

[respired]

[ A gentle (or as gentle as he can manage, with his rough gravel voice) sigh. ]

And what is step two?

[ VIDEO ] UN: FruitsParfaitSamurai

[naturallywavy]

_{[ this is a long and lengthy apology and Gintoki isn't sure he cares to follow correctly, but this seems like it's important, so he's tuning in.
He scrapes his pinky nail against the shell of his ear, looking at his watch. ]}

Ah, Death-san.
Your hand is bleeding chocolate syrup.
_{[ this will lead to a more important topic of conversation, I promise. That said: ]}

You get hungry for violence?
_{[ just making sure he got that right. ]}

[respired]

[ So it is. Sort of. He glances at his hand, shrugging. ]

To put it simply, yes.

audio; un: hb

[hellshaped]

[In typically lowkey Hellboy fashion:] That explains some things.

[respired]

[ Ah.This encounter had been particularly vicious, as he recalls. So much so that he's uncertain of what to say. ]

I ... thank you for coming along when you did.

[ Or he might have killed Ramir. ]

[sololoquy]

[HMMM THAT SURE INTERESTING, THIS WHOLE POST IS VERY INTERESTING. ]