video | un: deathweaver

[respired]

[ Koltira's in the sunny courtyard, standing beneath one of the trees. Shadows and light play across his face, throwing the cold, icy glow of his eyes into stark relief. He's wearing greaves and boots, but only a plain, black tunic otherwise (and the skull-shaped ring that serves as his communicator). Byfrost, as ever, simmers darkly on his back.

He doesn't speak right away, as though he's suddenly lost his nerve. Truth be told, he's not sure how to begin this. The middle part is clear, and the end bit, too, but ... he exhales. ]

My name is Koltira Deathweaver, if you did not know it before. I have hurt a number of you directly, and in so doing, hurt others indirectly. Some of us have spoken, though not all. I will try now to explain myself.



[ He leans back against the tree, uncomfortable. ]

My second name is not a family name. It is an epithet, forced upon me as undeath itself was forced upon me.

[ He gestures to his eyes; his sallow, bluish, cracked skin. ]

I earned [ this word he spits, disgusted by it ] the epithet during long years of enslavement to a will that subsumed my own. The Lich King ordered my death; he remade me into one of his knights. And though I broke free, and though my brothers and sisters rose up against our former master, his mark on us remains.

[ He taps his foot on the grass. ]

We call it the endless hunger. It is a curse--of blood, of flesh, of whatever unholy foundation holds our wretched bodies together. Hunger is perhaps the best way for you to understand it, though it is not for any typical food. We were made to be machines for war. We were made to cause suffering. If we fail in this, we suffer ourselves.

The pain is ever present, albeit manageable. For a time. But if we--if I--do not give in to the hunger's demands, the pain grows. Worsens. It becomes wracking, all-encompassing.

[ He holds up his hand, curling his fingers slowly into a fist. ]

Imagine starving to death, and yet being unable to die. Your body is past its breaking point, but it does not break, because it cannot.

[ His nails dig into the palm of his hand. Black blood trickles down his wrist. ]

Instead, you break. As we do. If I ignore the hunger for too long, I descend into madness. A blood-seeking hysteria. Such was the state in which some of you found me.

I do not tell you this as an excuse. Only as an explanation. I deeply regret what I have done, and I am sorry. You need not forgive me. I do not expect such. If you would rather I keep my distance, I will honor this wish.

[ He pauses. ]

I wish I could end this by telling you that it will never happen again. But that would be a lie. It will. I cannot cure this curse. I can promise only this: when I feel the madness taking hold, I will give due warning. You will be able to spare yourselves, and you will know that if you see me--you must run.

Comments

[respired]

Pain for pain. Those are the terms. The other person must suffer.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Pain for pain, huh. ]}
What if the other person is already suffering.. ?

[respired]

[ His eyebrows furrow. ]

What do you mean?

[naturallywavy]

If you already take a suffering person and make them suffer more, wouldn't that be better than taking a happy person and stripping happiness away from them ..?
It seems like it would be less of a sacrifice to make.

[respired]

You are asking me whether I would prefer to worsen a miserable person's lot or bring suffering to someone who knows none? Neither is ideal.

[ Besides which ... ]

Is there some point to it, or is this merely an academic discussion.

[naturallywavy]

—Both.
_{[ He'd like to find a solution here, and this guy's problem is something he is unfamiliar with. Though, like always, Gintoki is willing to help strangers, even with his off putting demeanor. ]}

Have you talked with Ban-san? He seems to be all about the wanting to feel suffering thing. You two would be a great match.
_{[ don't talk about this like it's a dating website? ]}

[respired]

I have met him several times. But never gotten that impression.

[ He wonders how Gintoki got that impression. ]

[naturallywavy]

Aah, I see, I see. You just have to get him in.. a mood. He's like a stubborn woman when you're ready to go and she just isn't feeling it.
It doesn't require a candlelight dinner, nono— don't worry.. but fight with him sometime.

See what happens when you almost kill him if you haven't already.
_{[ Like Gintoki found himself doing... it's a pity that guy is immortal. ]}

[respired]

[ What the heck kind of tone is this? Koltira needs an adult. ]

I do not plan to simply seek out recruits to fight.

[naturallywavy]

Ah, well...
_{[ He's... already out of ideas. ]}

That's all I've got. Unless you want us to put you in a bad corner when you misbehave.
_{[ what a sucky situation.. this guy. Despite his brash tone, Gintoki genuinely wishes there was an easy resolve for this. ]}

[respired]

[ Dryly. ]

That idea has been entertained.

[naturallywavy]

Seems like an awfully lonely situation to put you in though.
Hey, maybe we can give you a deck of cards or something so you can pass your time by.. or maybe even a set of Jenga blocks.

_{[ Not everyone knows what you're talking about. ]}

[respired]

[ He was with Gintoki up until 'Jenga', but he just shakes his head all the same. ]

It would be a poor solution, in any case. Few prisons could hold me in such a state.

[naturallywavy]

...

Have you thought about being completely masochistic and chaining yourself up for awhile? Straight jackets? Maybe you need to talk to Jigsaw and get ideas from that.
_{[ sorry he isn't helpful... he is going to keep an eye out on you, though. ]}

Can you let people like me and other strong guys know when shit hits the fan?
_{[ it's like life alert.... but not. ]}

[respired]

[ He's considered all those prospects, but he just shakes his head: his answer remains the same as before. Whatever was set to contain him, he would, in his fury, eventually shatter. No matter the detriment to his own body in the process. ]

That alone is all I can promise.

[naturallywavy]

Fine. I'll take it. It's too much effort to come up with anything else.
_{[ As flippant as he may seem about the matter, Gintoki really is concerned for your sake.. and the sake of others. ]}

Gintoki is my name. Let me know.
_{[ you know, if he can help.
Though, he seems unresponsive after this reply. Good to know, thanks for the warning, Death-san— he'll try to protect the innocent. ]}