respired: might as well let it die (there's no relief in bitterness)
ᴋᴏʟᴛɪʀᴀ ·sᴜɴsʜɪɴᴇ· ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜᴡᴇᴀᴠᴇʀ ([personal profile] respired) wrote in [community profile] futurology2016-02-26 08:41 pm

video | un: deathweaver

[ Koltira's in the sunny courtyard, standing beneath one of the trees. Shadows and light play across his face, throwing the cold, icy glow of his eyes into stark relief. He's wearing greaves and boots, but only a plain, black tunic otherwise (and the skull-shaped ring that serves as his communicator). Byfrost, as ever, simmers darkly on his back.

He doesn't speak right away, as though he's suddenly lost his nerve. Truth be told, he's not sure how to begin this. The middle part is clear, and the end bit, too, but ... he exhales. ]


My name is Koltira Deathweaver, if you did not know it before. I have hurt a number of you directly, and in so doing, hurt others indirectly. Some of us have spoken, though not all. I will try now to explain myself.



[ He leans back against the tree, uncomfortable. ]

My second name is not a family name. It is an epithet, forced upon me as undeath itself was forced upon me.

[ He gestures to his eyes; his sallow, bluish, cracked skin. ]

I earned [ this word he spits, disgusted by it ] the epithet during long years of enslavement to a will that subsumed my own. The Lich King ordered my death; he remade me into one of his knights. And though I broke free, and though my brothers and sisters rose up against our former master, his mark on us remains.

[ He taps his foot on the grass. ]

We call it the endless hunger. It is a curse--of blood, of flesh, of whatever unholy foundation holds our wretched bodies together. Hunger is perhaps the best way for you to understand it, though it is not for any typical food. We were made to be machines for war. We were made to cause suffering. If we fail in this, we suffer ourselves.

The pain is ever present, albeit manageable. For a time. But if we--if I--do not give in to the hunger's demands, the pain grows. Worsens. It becomes wracking, all-encompassing.

[ He holds up his hand, curling his fingers slowly into a fist. ]

Imagine starving to death, and yet being unable to die. Your body is past its breaking point, but it does not break, because it cannot.

[ His nails dig into the palm of his hand. Black blood trickles down his wrist. ]

Instead, you break. As we do. If I ignore the hunger for too long, I descend into madness. A blood-seeking hysteria. Such was the state in which some of you found me.

I do not tell you this as an excuse. Only as an explanation. I deeply regret what I have done, and I am sorry. You need not forgive me. I do not expect such. If you would rather I keep my distance, I will honor this wish.

[ He pauses. ]

I wish I could end this by telling you that it will never happen again. But that would be a lie. It will. I cannot cure this curse. I can promise only this: when I feel the madness taking hold, I will give due warning. You will be able to spare yourselves, and you will know that if you see me--you must run.
naturallywavy: (《52》)

[personal profile] naturallywavy 2016-03-11 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ Pain for pain, huh. ]
What if the other person is already suffering.. ?
hsalf: h.w. (snarky scientist by day)

[personal profile] hsalf 2016-03-12 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
That's not quite what I meant.

You know when the hunger comes. Yet instead of handling it, you allow it to grow until it gets out of control? Why not simply curve it when you realize what is about to occur? Obviously not attacking any of us, but simply something? Or must it be a human you attack?
defenceless: (very very sad)

[personal profile] defenceless 2016-03-12 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[they'll work something out.]

Of course. The very last thing I want is dying from mana deprivation because of you, again. Whenever you're weak, just contact me.

... It's the same as any of the Servants, like Archer.

[well, if gilgamesh was wanting for mana, she might just let him die.]
defenceless: (watching in the distance)

[personal profile] defenceless 2016-03-12 02:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Naturally, I don't.

[and she pauses, there, allowing the implications of that statement to sink in. of course she doesn't speak for everyone in alastair—she doesn't even know everyone in their crew—but rin thinks she knows the people that matter think the same way she does, or they would.]

But I speak for me. It will have to be enough. Everyone is different, here, so it makes no sense to fuss about inconsequential things regardless of whatever your goal is.
hsalf: e.t. (hello my name is:)

[personal profile] hsalf 2016-03-13 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
I see.

It will be callous to suggest, but I'll say so anyway: you may want to consider taking the life of a sentient being during one of our missions. Like the goblins, for example.
hsalf: icons by me; credit if taking (well that all happened)

[personal profile] hsalf 2016-03-13 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
They will approve even less of you pushing yourself to the breaking point and becoming an uncontrollable beast. And I think some measure of sympathy will be given toward your plight.
hsalf: icons by me; credit if taking (you do this and we all go home)

[personal profile] hsalf 2016-03-13 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Only because you allowed it to go so far. The second time around, I think they will appreciate you attacking someone who isn't part of ALASTAIR.

[People only care about those in their own respective groups. It's just a fact of life.]
defenceless: (bowing her head)

[personal profile] defenceless 2016-03-13 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[a-ahem! it's so nice when things come around, and they've reached an agreement—but she's way too tsundere to admit anything like that out loud easily.]

Good.
defenceless: (super tsundere defense force)

[personal profile] defenceless 2016-03-13 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
G-Good.

[she's embarrassed-flattered. is he seeing a pattern?]
hellshaped: (the sleeping and the dead)

[personal profile] hellshaped 2016-03-14 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
[It's so long that Hellboy assumes he'd said something offensive and figures that's the end of it. So he's surprised when the thing on his wrist tells him there's an answer.]

I can't say I know exactly what this feels like, but I don't blame you. Really.
naturallywavy: (《20》)

[personal profile] naturallywavy 2016-03-14 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
If you already take a suffering person and make them suffer more, wouldn't that be better than taking a happy person and stripping happiness away from them ..?
It seems like it would be less of a sacrifice to make.
hsalf: e.t. (oh no...)

[personal profile] hsalf 2016-03-15 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
And yet, diplomacy is itself a risk. Not every world is going to be the same. [He shrugs gently.] I'm only trying to suggest something practical, despite the cruelty involved. The choice is yours to make and be judged by.
naturallywavy: (《14》)

[personal profile] naturallywavy 2016-03-16 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
—Both.
[ He'd like to find a solution here, and this guy's problem is something he is unfamiliar with. Though, like always, Gintoki is willing to help strangers, even with his off putting demeanor. ]

Have you talked with Ban-san? He seems to be all about the wanting to feel suffering thing. You two would be a great match.
[ don't talk about this like it's a dating website? ]

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