video; [KINGOFHEROES]

[babbylon]

[Greetings and salutations, comrades of ALASTAIR! The face of a handsome young man opens the feed today, smiling wide and surrounded by lions on his bed. Yes, that's right, lions. Shishi, his mount, sits in the background, with his mate nestled nearby. And atop him, crawling across his legs, over his shoulders, even rubbing at his face, are cubs, golden and white and feisty. They growl and chirp at the jewelry floating just a few feet away, and a particularly brave one bats at it.

Their parents, as well as Gilgamesh himself, look appropriately proud.]

Good day. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting me before, I am Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, and your resident lion tamer. I bred them as a hobby, back in my native Uruk, and so I have once again come into possession of several cubs.

[The cubs themselves appear no more than six weeks old. Gilgamesh has to shift a little to accommodate them, as they are absolutely intent on making the broadcast difficult by shoving their little furry bodies everywhere. Not that it bothers him much—he's laughing under his breath.]

They have all been weaned from their mother and thus are ready for distribution. Alas, I cannot keep so many for myself; I aim to find good homes for them among you all. I do ask you bear in mind these are wild animals at heart, requiring a great degree of time and attention to train.

[Though you'd never know it, seeming so harmless, so adorable.. After a time, Gilgamesh surrenders, and gets swallowed up by their insistent pawing.]

They are not... just... housecats to sit on a shelf and... w-wait, do not touch it...!

[The necklace goes flying down the hall as a mischievous cub bounds after it. Gilgamesh will snatch it back... eventually.]

(( All lions have now found loving homes! Thanks for the interest, everyone! ))

Comments

[boneafide]

[Things Papyrus is okay with: invasive questions. Things he is a little less okay with but will keep quiet about unless it gets weird: invasive touching. He knows not everyone's seen a skeleton monster before, and what better way to educate the masses than with himself as their star model! Which is clearly what Gilgamesh is trying to learn, by this.]

Oh no, there's lions! Magic monster lions. At least one of them. They live in Hotlands!

[But that's about all he knows, because FUCK HOTLANDS. Now that the lion in his arms has calmed down, Papyrus carefully adjusts to take a seat on the floor (despite this being in the middle of a hallway, whoops) so that all of the lions may climb all over him. This is true happiness. Covered in baby lions. ]

And there's other monsters like fish monsters- that's Undyne! And goat monsters- that'd be King Asgore! And then there's ghost monsters, and bunny monsters, fire monsters...

[babbylon]

[It will be alright. Gilgamesh may have been hopelessly nosy, but he's not trying to make Papyrus uncomfortable. His hands draw away once he's satisfied with his studies and he then stands a respectable distance back, picking up one of the cubs that's started to wander away.]

I believe I've met this Undyne of yours. She isn't quite so kind as you.

[Nasty little fish, really... though dedicated in her own right. Gilgamesh lights up a little upon mention of the King.]

Oh, she did mention him, this Asgore. Tell me of him; is he good, is he just, is he fair?

[boneafide]

Oh no, Undyne is one of the nicest people I know! She just doesn't act like it right away, but she is! She just also has really high standards for people.

[Like, don't be a murderer. Oops, failed step one, Gil.

Continuing to be covered in lion cubs, as they climb up into his lap and over his bones. One even starts tugging at his cape a little, until he starts focusing on them and playing with them instead.]

Yes, to all three! He's good and just and fair, and also kind! He had... a lot of bad things happen to him, but Undyne told me he's never once failed to offer someone a nice hot cup of tea when they go to visit him.

[babbylon]

[Papyrus seems to fit right in; spooky, scary skeleton he is most certainly not. So Gilgamesh leans down to play, too, letting one of the cubs nip at his finger and vaguely wondering what's become of his life when he's started to warm up to talking piles of bones.

There were worse in Sumeria, he consoles himself. With worse tempers, too.]

I suspect she wouldn't think he failed at much of anything. Nor you.

[His eyes flicker to Papyrus' empty sockets, studying.]

But you have failed at something, haven't you, Papyrus?

[boneafide]

[This is your life now, Gil. Playing with lion cubs and talking to friendly skeletons.]

... I have?

[He pauses, thinking about it. He can't recall exactly what it was... He doesn't exactly have the best memory. But he did promise Gil something, didn't he...?]

[babbylon]

[His smile is a little too slick to be entirely innocent.]

Mm. I'm certain that, if you were to ponder the matter at length, you could think of many failings.

[boneafide]

... Oh! I understand. I've failed to give you a greeting hug! You know, there are easier ways to ask for one, Gilgamesh!

[Placing the lion cub down on his lap, he holds his arms open wide.]

Feel free to ask for one any time!!