video | un: man of still

[figureitout]

Okay, seriously, is this for real?

[ Hello there, fellow recruits! Today, the network brings you a fascinating video of... a hand. A hand that is waving, though less in a hello-how-are-you way and more in a I-am-so-done-with-everything way.

The hand pulls back, though, revealing an arm clad in green-grey plaid shirt (don't knock the plaid, okay, the plaid is eternal)... and eventually, the face of a teenager. Who is currently making the most judging face you will ever see in your life. ]

What kind of bomb needs fish hearts and sea urchins? It's like someone just threw together a list for the most random and incidentally dangerous things they could think of. And do you even need these anymore? Is the bomb a thing? I mean, the briefing I got was... uh, let's just say hurried. [ More like non-existent, but, yeah.

Stiles pauses, like something has just occurred to him. ]

... Right, probably should've started with that. The "hi weird jewel amulet I literally just got here and have no idea about anything" thing. And also the "I really hope someone actually sees this and I'm not sitting here and talking to a piece of jewelry" thing. Does this work? Is this working?

[ He leans in and pokes the jewel. ] For my own peace of mind, I'm saying it's working. I mean, magic jewels is, like, the least weird thing about all of this. [ Wish he'd shut up yet? Sorry, you are currently subjected to the Talkamus Stilinskimus, a very un-rare case of rambling that occurs whenever Stiles so much as opens his mouth.

Your wish is about to be fulfilled, though, as he claps his hands together. ]

Anyway! Go... team? [ ... such eloquence. But in his defense, no one ever told him talking to invisible people you don't even know actually exist would be this awkward.

That is the last sight of him anyone on the network sees, though his voice still follows, almost like he can't stop the think-at-the-jewel-and-it-will-broadcast quickly enough. ]

... is there a team? Man, I hope there's a team.

Comments

[dbag]

Yeah, honestly, I'm not that opposed to screwing off and letting them fix it themselves.

[ There's a bit of bitterness in his voice; god, these fucking dicks. ]

But I've kind of got some stuff to get back to, so, you know. Paying my way and all that.

[figureitout]

Hey, maybe if you're unhelpful enough, they just return you back home. [ Because it's not like ALASTAIR is gaining anything from the presence of someone who is only making things more difficult...

Then again-- ] Or maybe they just kill you for that. So, uh, probably better to stick with the "good deeds equal home" plan.

[dbag]

Okay, they don't kill you. I don't even know if there is a 'they.' I think everyone's just kind of running around blindly? Soooo, that's how organized we are. If you were wondering.

[ SUPER organized. ]

[figureitout]

Well, there's definitely a "someone", because the one who talked to me when I woke up in Oska said he's working for the organization, and an organization usually equals people in charge of it.

[ At least... usually. This, though, seems to be anything but an usual situation. ]

Wait, seriously? No one knows what we're doing here? How is that a good idea?

[dbag]

Okay, don't shoot the messenger. That is— how would I even know? It wasn't my idea, my idea is that we get off this rock as soon as possible, maybe go somewhere with some nice lakefront property, kick our shoes off and relax with one of those... the drinks with the little, you know, umbrella thing.

[ The fantasy got a bit away from him, there. ]

[figureitout]

Dude, I'm not shooting anyone, trust me.

[ Giving him firearms is a very bad, no good idea. He'd love it, though, but-- seriously. Don't give him guns. ]

... okay, you've clearly given that a lot of thought. I could do just with the "get off this rock" part, possibly followed by "dropped back to our homes".