TEXT. UN: LOKI. FILTERED TO LOST ON AN ISLAND.

[selfimage]

[ the only thing worse than being stranded on a desert island in some random corner of the multiverse was being stranded on a desert island in some random corner of the multiverse without your divine powers. alas, for the last week of abandonment, Loki's been sour, quick to temper, and unshaven. several times his mind has wandered to the trials of his own brother and his binds to mortality through his former alternate human persona: Doctor Donald Blake. that had been a punishment and a lesson, here it just seems like he's hindered.

but today, he seems in somewhat higher spirits. ]

Fellow ALASTAIR members:

During my mid-morning walk in the depths of a rather sad and dreary jungle, I happened upon a certain something rather out of place. It was a hatch, made of metal, long unused. Not able to keep my curiosity from getting the best of me, I picked the padlock (I'm not answering any questions about this) and found an underground shelter that was once filled with provisions. As we're undergoing a rather awful streak of bad luck, it seems that there wasn't much of use. However!!! Pause for dramatics, please- there were some items still salvageable:

x1 ""something"" akin to a mortal lighter to set things aflame (kind of fun)
x3 containers of water (boring)
x1 a pocket tool of many tools (so-so)
x15 long, sharp objects that are known as swords, commonly used for stabbing

Our Dakal friends were prepared, in rather sharp condition, if you get my drift. :) All hands are welcome to remove them from their underground prison, and anything you can use to find to whet them- well, that's all the better!

Now, there's the question of the bunker and the jungle, but I suppose that's a story for another time.

[ while he can usually out-think his way out of anything, this seems to sate his current battle against his uselessness. ]

Comments

text | username: NAILS

[nichocolatine]

[ well that was long-winded. he's happy they decided to list the finds — makes it a lot easier to parse through the stuff that isn't all that relevant to him, tbh. ]

Whatcha want for the lighter?

[selfimage]

[ it's for all of those who don't like the tl;dr. he was thoughtful this time. ]

It wasn't intended for exchange. That said..... what would you like to offer?

[nichocolatine]

[ what a benevolent god ]

After you just said you didn't want anything for it?

[ that said.. ]

I got
x1 semi-complete cone shell

It's pink

[selfimage]

Ugh, please. You can do better than that, I'm sure.

[nichocolatine]

Tough crowd
How 'bout—
x1 slightly dinged up metal canister, tobacco-scented, soon to be emptied

text; un: coolskeleton95

[boneafide]

I WOULD LIKE A SWORD!!

[ Says the monster least likely to use it. ]

[selfimage]

[ help it's this guy. skeleton. bones. corpse person. ]

And I'd like some new clothes and a hot bath.

[selfimage]

JK you can have a sword.
Can you give me a hand?



Don't take it off.

[ wait. ]

Can you? Take it off?

[boneafide]

I HAVE NEVER TRIED BUT I HAVE A FEELING THAT THAT WOULD BE A PERMANENT THING THAT WOULD ALSO NOT BE ENJOYABLE.

[selfimage]

[ Loki, trolling the skeleton backfired last time. ]

A shame. That would've been a clever joke.
Regardless, you'll look properly menacing with a sword.

How good are you at making laser noises?

[boneafide]

[ It takes a certain level of trolling for him to fall for, unfortunately. ]

AMAZING. I'M EXTREMELY WELL PRACTICED AT FIGHTING SOUND EFFECTS! I CAN ALSO MAKE GOOD EXPLOSION SOUNDS.

text; un: swan

[sheriffing]

I could use a sword, I'll help.

[She'd rather have a gun, but ALASTAIR never cares about what she wants.]

[selfimage]

Wonderful! You've got yourself +1 sword.
I do have one condition. Something super small, you won't even notice.

[sheriffing]

Usually when people say that, I notice.

[selfimage]

How familiar are you with the noises of mortal lasers?

[sheriffing]

What are you doing with a laser?

VIDEO - un: huntsman

[dishearten]

What do you want for the pocket tool?

( REALLY THAT'S THE PART YOU WANT GRAHAM COME ON. )

What sort of swords are they?

TEXT.

[selfimage]

Several different kinds- as if anyone has much of a choice in the matter.
As for the pocket tool, well, that's a different story. What are you willing to part with?

[dishearten]

I don't like swords much, but if there's a decent one at the right length and you're offering, I know how to sharpen them. seems a fair enough trade.

as for the tool, I don't have anything of enormous value. I'm guessing you wouldn't be impressed by fur or something carved from a coconut.

[selfimage]

Weapons are weapons, even if they are long, potentially annoying ones. You're free to take any one you like, the only condition is that you make the right mortal laser noises to accompany.

[ look, he just assumes everyone's going to turn theirs into a lightsaber. ]

And yes, on to the tool. Let's go a different route.
You owe me a favor.
TBD.

[dishearten]

why on earth would anyone do that?

( guess who doesn't know what lightsabers are. it's this guy. )

fine. I'll owe you a favor, but it won't be at the sake of anyone else.

text | un: beloved

[dailydouble]

Does that pocket tool contain a knife?

[selfimage]

If you could call it that.

Color me curious.
What do you need a knife for?

[dailydouble]

A sword would be too large.

[selfimage]

I hope you're planning breakfast.